STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

laken1 · Hermes

No jokes, please - email etiquette

tri_sarah_tops · Marc Jacobs

I hate that, too. I would just tell him that you never get a chance to read his forwards right away so they build up and cause your inbox to be too full. Maybe also tell him that you end up overlooking actual messages because of the amount of forwards and suggest that he send "real" emails to your new address and give him the "junk" address for videos and jokes and stuff.

Oh, and i'm not a joke forwarder but I wouldn't be offended if someone asked me to stop. I get a lot of junk email and on more than one occasion I've missed an important email because it was in the middle of 100s of spam messages. It's understandable.

ETA: I'd just say something like
Hey! I really enjoy all of the stuff you forward me but I don't always have time to read them right away. I'm afraid that I may miss an important message from you, so I'd really appreciate it if you could send jokes and other forwards to laken1email.com, and send regular messages to laken1otheremail.com. Thanks!

-- Edited by tri_sarah_tops at 14:48, 2007-01-02

ejc423 · Coach

tri_sarah_tops wrote:

ETA: I'd just say something like
Hey! I really enjoy all of the stuff you forward me but I don't always have time to read them right away. I'm afraid that I may miss an important message from you, so I'd really appreciate it if you could send jokes and other forwards to laken1email.com, and send regular messages to laken1otheremail.com. Thanks!

-- Edited by tri_sarah_tops at 14:48, 2007-01-02

I think that's a really great idea.

NCshopper · Hermes

ejc423 wrote:

tri_sarah_tops wrote:

ETA: I'd just say something like
Hey! I really enjoy all of the stuff you forward me but I don't always have time to read them right away. I'm afraid that I may miss an important message from you, so I'd really appreciate it if you could send jokes and other forwards to laken1email.com, and send regular messages to laken1otheremail.com. Thanks!

-- Edited by tri_sarah_tops at 14:48, 2007-01-02

I think that's a really great idea.

Ditto.

I think that older generations (especially those that are retired and have a little more time on their hands) don't understand that people in our generation actually use email for important things, not just as a means of forwarding jokes or for entertainment. You could tactfully add that you have two email addresses: one for the "fun" stuff and one for bills and communicating with friends and family members and that you'd prefer that he send the jokes to your alternative address.

If he's included your email as part of a group that he regularly forwards jokes to, you could always politely ask him to remove your name from the list.

littlebean · Kate Spade

I think that the other ladies have offered great suggestions. My only thought is that since he's your father in law you may not want to say something to upset him. I have gone through periods of time in my life where I was getting 500+ e-mails a day between work and friends all to the same e-mail address and it was so overwhelming, as it sounds like you're feeling from his e-mails. But it really doesn't take much time to go "delete, delete, delete, delete," even over dozens or hundreds of e-mails and it may keep you from hurting someone's feelings. Just my two cents.

blink · Coach

I have kept a junk email address on a free server for a few years now. I use it for just about anything I sign up for online, for retail websites as well as this forum and any other subscriptions I have. I don't give my personal email to people who are known forwarders, so my "real" inbox doesn't get clogged with unimportant stuff.

As for letting the person know, it might bruise their ego a bit, but you can make your request kindly. I did this once. I had to say I was honestly too busy, I had just had my first baby and I was trying my best to keep up with friends and family via email, but opening non-relevant emails took up those precious few minutes I had. I would rather read a lengthy personal email letter than to open and delete an impersonal collection of jokes every day. Her irrelevant emails had put in a corner, I had no choice but ask her to stop, I was tired of opening these wastes of time. Luckily, I don't have a lot of friends and family who do this anymore. It's so 2000, right?

Bastet · Kate Spade

If you're really worried about upsetting your FIL by asking him not to forward jokes, maybe you could set up a filter in your email program. If you use MS Outlook, it's called a "rule." You can tell your email program to take emails that have the words "forward" or "fwd" in the sujbect and put them in a folder you set aside for jokes, etc. The downside of this is that if someone forwards you something important, you might miss it.

Cortney1982 · Chanel

Give it a trial run to see if he changes. Give him a junk account and ask for only important e-mails. If he listens to you for a good month, give him your new account.

Suasoria · Chanel

Bastet wrote:

maybe you could set up a filter in your email program.

That's my advice as well. I have never once heard of this type of request going well. Usually the response you get is "Fine, then I'll never send you anything ever again!" That came from my own FIL too!

If you can't do a workaround within your email app, I suggest you suck it up and keep the peace.

I agree 100% with NCshopper about the generation gap, by the way. As such, I don't see a way out.