STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Ilovechoo, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. There's nothing wrong with it, first of all. I think a lot of women feel the same way (and probably a fair number of men), but they won't / can't admit it, even to themselves sometimes. Several years ago, when I was in the corporate world, a co-worker of mine said she just wanted to be married and supported. She said the novelty had worn off of having to earn her living. And I can totally relate to that.

I'm in a slightly different situation, because I still work, but I own my own business and work (most days) from home. I enjoy what I do overall, but like anything, there are some less-fun aspects to it. DH supports us with his income, and he never gives me a hard time about my lack of financial contributions - the money I earn with my business, thus far, goes back into my business. I carry some of the smaller household bills but that's about it so far. And even though I'm working, the income discrepancy makes me feel guilty sometimes, like I'm not doing my part. I think I'd go out of my mind just "being" at home, unless we had unlimited funds and I could take classes, or do other things than just hang out. After all, there's a limit to how much shopping any woman can truly do...or at least, this woman. It's a high threshold, but it does exist. *s*

I understand what you are saying about the social anxiety and shyness. I spent most of my life being so agonizingly shy that I often couldn't even look people in the eye. I'm past most of that now, but some still lingers. Therapy helped some, and I also worked really hard on myself to change and be more outgoing. I'm still definitely an introvert, but I can function much better socially now. In fact, when I tell people I'm introverted, they start laughing. But it's still true - I function better with a fair amount of alone time, or personal downtime. I love working from home because it allows me a LOT of quiet time - friends always say they couldn't do it because they need the interaction from others - but I am happy that way and it's good for DH too because by the time he gets home from work, I'm glad to have someone to interact with. When I was working a regular job, I was often drained by the daily interactions and needed more "recharging" time at home, so he had to give me more space.

I have found counselors in the past by calling my ins. co. and asking for recommendations. They usually give me 3-5 and I call the numbers, and usually end up with whomever has the nicest voice on their voicemail. It's an inexact system, and it doesn't always bring up a winner the first time, but I just keep trying until I find someone who works for me. Don't be afraid to go see someone. I've learned amazing things about myself through counseling, and been given many good suggestions that have helped me. I hope you will find the courage to go because it can be a very positive experience.

One of the other major bonuses for me with working from home is that for the most part, *I* set my own schedule. I'm a lot like MissMee in that I HATED having to be *somewhere* at *some specific time* and do specific things for someone else. I like a lot of autonomy and am self-directed enough (mostly!) to know what needs to be done for my business and manage to get it done. I love not dealing with traffic daily and when I DO have appointments or things I must do for the business, it's less grating because I set my own goals and I view the less-fun things as necessary steps to achieve those goals. Where in someone else's company, the goals were set for me and I didn't always like that. I also have a chronic illness, and the schedule most of my days according to my pain fluctuations - more in the a.m., less in the p.m., which I couldn't necessarily do at a regular job.

I am fortunate that DH has always supported my endeavors and never grumped about the sacrifices (like where we live, how much less disposable income we have, and that I am often working w/ends when he's at home). Have you sat down and really seriously talked with your DH about your wants/needs? I think if I had just been saying, "Oh, I really don't want to go to work anymore" when I was corporate, DH might not have been quite so supportive...not to imply that's how you're approaching it, but if he understood that you truly weren't fulfilled at your career and that a change, even if it took you to part time, would make you happier overall, hopefully he'd be behind that, esp. if money really isn't an issue...

One other thing DH really likes about my working from home is that I run the bulk of our errands, do the bulk of our chores (he does bathroom floors and outside (lawn) chores, plus any home repairs he can do, though I help out with those as I can), and am home for things like cable installation, etc. It's a little lopsided because I work more hours now than I did before, but he's bringing in way more earnings than I am right now, and again...I have that freedom that he doesn't, so I don't mind. Though I think the biz might be financing a maid service this year...finally! Your own DH might be surprised if you end up working part time and can take over some things because of that - when we both had outside jobs, the chores & stuff were more evenly divided. Oops, just read that you do more chores anyway. But maybe he'd appreciate that you are able to handle them better if you aren't working full time...?

Well...I'm actually at an outside job right now, and am distracted (I do some other things besides running my biz for additional income), so I hope this is somewhat coherent. And I hope you two can find some resolution to this, so that you can be happier with your life. *hugs*