STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

NCshopper · Hermes

RE: most painful question?

cat · Marc Jacobs

I am currently in collage, but in order to get the degree I want in music therapy I have to transfer and audition in somewhere which takes time to prepare for. So anyway I get really annoyed when people ask so why haven't you graduated yet, or your graduating this year right? Or haven't you gotten in some where else yet? Grrrrr!
I wouldn't get so annoyed but I swear whose asks that kinda question and most of the time they have asked me this before and I have explained it all to them already. Or they act like it's just music so it can't be that much of a challenge. Sometimes I want to say no I guess I'm just a big F**king loser huh? Or "no F**khead I explained it to you last time I saw you"
I t take all my self control not too.

TheLovelyLady71 · Hermes

My two are, since Joe and I have been together a LONG time (almost 8 yrs.)

When are you getting married?

When are you having children?

Since I'm 34, EVERYONE and their Mama tells me my biological clock is ticking, etc. etc. Like I don't know that, but I'll have CHILDREN AND GET MARRIED when I'm READY, nobody is gonna force me to do anything! There, I said it. And Joe's son is 21, so I'm somewhat a StepMother! LOL

relrel · Marc Jacobs

this isn't as much painful as it completely tedious....im in school doing my masters of public health. my family, or friend's family, or whoever, always get such a blank look when i say public health. it takes about five minutes to explain this and by that time no one is that interested anyway. it's gotten to the point where i just say, "it's about saving the world's sick children through health, not medicine". and then since im such a do-gooder with saving the world, no one wants to hear any more. course...then i have to explain the difference between health and medicine. which gets even more blank looks. i swear..it was easier when i just worked retail, everybody knows what a shoe salesperson does, course then i have the requisite al bundy jokes to deal with, just as painful.

kenzie · Chanel

Up until recently, the 'So what do you do for a living?' was horribly painful for me. And since it's a typical question of small talk, I had to deal with it constantly. Explaining to people that I worked in retail or was temping as a receptionist got me lots of blank stares and 'ohhhh, I see,' especially if they had previously asked about my educational background. And then, inevitably, they would ask, "So, when are you going to get a real job?" Which pissed me off even more b/c it's not like I didn't get a paycheck at those jobs or something.

Now, the painful question is, "so do you have a boyfriend?" b/c everyone I know is married or getting married and I'm the only one who manages to find the committphobes who won't be ready to get married until they're 45.

I've come to the conclusion that any question that starts with 'so' and is followed by a judgemental pause is not a question that even should be asked in the first place.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

oh! oh! oh! omg I DOOOOO have one... I had somehow forgotten about it, probably because it isn't as personally intrusive as the questions as most of the rest of you get. But I do have two, actually. The first is not really a question so much as a statement, but it is, "ooh, you're in interior design school? Great, you can decorate my apartment!" The other one is, "OOh, you're in interior design school? Are you going to be on one of those HGTV shows?"

AUAAAAAAAUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO I do not want to decorate your apartment, because I am NOT interested in residential design and YES there is a great deal more to interior design than residential design and NO I do not ever want to be on one of those shows. One of my classmates came up with the perfect response to that question about Trading Spaces, which we all get... "Oh yeah, absolutely--it's always been my dream to work with a $1,000 budget!"

I mean, it's probably unfair for me to be so cranky about it, because people mean well, and most people's knowledge of interior design is limited to HGTV and the shelter mags and that's totally fine. It just gets on my nerves because EVERYONE says it to me, EVERYONE, and I get incredibly tired of hearing the same thing and of having to give the same response. ("ha ha, yeah...") The Trading Spaces question is more annoying--I know it's just a knee-jerk reaction, but honest to god, do you really think I'm spending four years in school so I can work miracles with Benjamin Moore?

mikacat · Coach

Most of mine are adoption related. I guess you can't take it too much to heart b/c people are just ignorant but it really makes you wonder.

Why are you adopting from China and not America? There are so many American children that need homes.

You will get pregnant now.

How much is it? Isn't that like buying a baby?

Will she be white?

Why don't Chinese families adopt them?

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

mikacat wrote:

Will she be white? Why don't Chinese families adopt them?

will she be white? are they completely out of their minds? and "why don't chinese families adopt them" is a close runner-up.... holy cow, mikacat, you must have the patience of a saint to deal with morons like that in addition to all the stress of the adoption itself...

mikacat · Coach

sephorablue wrote:

mikacat wrote: Will she be white? Why don't Chinese families adopt them? will she be white? are they completely out of their minds? and "why don't chinese families adopt them" is a close runner-up.... holy cow,

I know! What a moron-The assistant to the CEO said this when she was notarizing some official adoption documents for us. I didn't know what to say to her. I think it was at that moment when i realized i had to get out of this hick town.

We have gotten some goods laughs at parties and tailgates with close friends though---(which will have to stop before we get her, i know.)

Metric · Gucci

Like TLL I have been with my bf a long time (6.5 years) so we constantly get a barrage of "when are you getting engaged/married/having a baby?" questions. It really really annoys me to the point where I can't be bothered to come up with a polite response anymore.

Also like Sephora blue, b/c I am a chef I always get "are you going to open your own restaurant?" Which most people don't understand that it is a stupid question, but it is. If I wanted to own a restaurant I would have had to go to business school, not chef school. Just because you can make a good soup doesn't mean you can own and manage a business and acquire start-up capital. Duh *end rant, sorry*

laken1 · Hermes

Mine is the baby question. And it's not painful, but i think it's intrusive. We aren't planning to have kids & it's not something I want to get in a debate about with a mother of 4 while having small talk. They always think "you'll change your mind" or something like that. It's a CHOICE, lady. Anyway, I used to tell people that we were having issues but then I realized that's really mean & insensitive to people who actually are. But it did shut them up. And now I tell them it's none of their business - I must be honest, I'm not really nice about it so it's not a long discussion anymore.

sage · Dooney & Bourke

TheLovelyLady71 wrote:

My two are, since Joe and I have been together a LONG time (almost 8 yrs.)

When are you getting married?
When are you having children?
Since I'm 34, EVERYONE and their Mama tells me my biological clock is ticking, etc. etc. Like I don't know that, but I'll have CHILDREN AND GET MARRIED when I'm READY, nobody is gonna force me to do anything! There, I said it. And Joe's son is 21, so I'm somewhat a StepMother! LOL

Ahhhh! This is us!! We are relationship twins!! 7 1/2 years and no marriage and no children, and people ask us both of these questions. I have tried to be polite for the most part. I don't think people mean to be rude, but they are!! I get the "ticking clock" thing too. I am 34. For the marriage thing I jokingly say " I am just not sure he's the one." He really is. But things are great the way they are. As for the child thing I too would say "I don't like children" but it isn't true. I love kids. I guess we should make decisions about such things soon, but I just wish people would stop asking.

Oh, and my SO doesn't have any children, so I can't even say I am a stepmom!

jen · Kate Spade

At EVERY family get together:

Jennn, what do you eat to be so skinny?

How much do you workout? What do you do when you work out?

You're a vegetarian, how do you get enough protein? How do you get vitamins?

Answers I wish I could say:

I don't eat junk and McDonalds all day

I work out a lot okay? I lift heavy weights and run my ass off.

Umm, let's see, I eat veggies, fruit, tofu, and soy and you eat McDonald's Mcnuggets, fried steak, cheeseburgers and you assume that because you eat meat-YOU get more vitamins than me?

I HATE this subject with my family since they are all overweight and half of them have diabesity. I hate seeing my family killing themselves slowly. Okay, rant over, back to real life...

sage · Dooney & Bourke

Oh, jen, your post made me remember one of the most freakin' annoying things, when people comment on what you are eating. I try to eat healthy foods and am basically berated by some people for eating tofu,etc. So, another painful question is "How can you eat that?" because that is seriously what some of my burger and fry gobbling friends say to me, while I am eating. It is usually followed by "Ewwwww". I am sure they would consider me rude if I said the same thing to them.

Maddie · Coach

jen reminded me of one. "Why are you a vegetarian?" I hate this question. It's always someone who doesn't really know me that well and thinks they're starting up an interesting conversation about ethics. I really just don't care to discuss it. If I get into the real reasons I come off as accusatory toward meat eaters which just isn't really appropriate with people I just met. And after getting it all the time for the past 10 years I just don't think it's that interesting of a conversation.

Eurodaisy · Dooney & Bourke

jen wrote:

Jennn, what do you eat to be so skinny? How much do you workout? What do you do when you work out? You're a vegetarian, how do you get enough protein? How do you get vitamins?

Why is it that family members, especially extended family that you haven't seen in a while, always want to bring up your weight when they see you over the holidays? You're always too-whatever, could stand to gain/lose 20 pounds, blah, blah, blah.... Meanwhile, you are just staring with your mouth wide open at the person (who you love) asking these questions and you're thinking, "You're one to talk." Grrr.... this happened no less than four times (from four different people) last Christmas, and I need to come up with a silencing (yet not mean) retort before I drive back...

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

Wow, I have so many!

Are you anorexic? (Um, what? I'm a healthy adult woman who just happens to be tall and slim) Also, do you eat?

Where's (insert son's name)'s Dad at? (not really your business!)

Are you divorced yet? (nope, can't afford it)

What are you? (Race related. I'm german and native american but since I was born in germany that is how i identify) Usually followed by 'wow, you don't LOOK german'

How OLD are you? (I'm 28 but apparently could pass for a teenage mom! Grrrr!)

When are you going to start dating again?

And...whenever I introduce a male friend to other friends they come back with the 'are you interested in him' question

Man oh man, I could go on and on and on...I find a lot of questions to be intrusive.

tina242 · Kate Spade

Ok these posts are just appalling. Where are the manners?

Here's my number one question: Do you eat? (I'm 5'4 and 115 lbs, slim frame, and I PIG OUT). Apparently these days you can't be thin and eat at the same time ? Hmm...wouldn't that be deadly?

#2 question: How old ARE you? I am 27 and look young too, I can relate leah_leanna!

Lilykind · Hermes

My last name is sixteen letters long. If you ask me...

"Did it take you a while to learn how to write that in kindergarten?"

I will come at you with a machete and take your eye out.

TheLovelyLady71 · Hermes

Ohhhh Sage - I'm SO GLAD I'm not alone on this one!!! You are MY new best friend! LOL Like you, I see nothing wrong w/me and Joe's relationship, and MAYBE one day we will get married, but even after almost 8 yrs., we STILL have some things to work out/on, so until then...... LOL

sage wrote:

TheLovelyLady71 wrote: My two are, since Joe and I have been together a LONG time (almost 8 yrs.) When are you getting married? When are you having children? Since I'm 34, EVERYONE and their Mama tells me my biological clock is ticking, etc. etc. Like I don't know that, but I'll have CHILDREN AND GET MARRIED when I'm READY, nobody is gonna force me to do anything! There, I said it. And Joe's son is 21, so I'm somewhat a StepMother! LOL Ahhhh! This is us!! We are relationship twins!! 7 1/2 years and no marriage and no children, and people ask us both of these questions. I have tried to be polite for the most part. I don't think people mean to be rude, but they are!! I get the "ticking clock" thing too. I am 34. For the marriage thing I jokingly say " I am just not sure he's the one." He really is. But things are great the way they are. As for the child thing I too would say "I don't like children" but it isn't true. I love kids. I guess we should make decisions about such things soon, but I just wish people would stop asking. Oh, and my SO doesn't have any children, so I can't even say I am a stepmom!