STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

imgoingstraighttohell · Nine West

Wow.

Hermes

wow is right.

First of all, don't beat yourself up too hard. Secondly, and as you well know, alcohol can make us do things we regret later.

It is what it is, and there's nothing you can do to change it. All you can do is learn from it. To help you to better move on, you may not want to have contact with any of those guys again, shove the skeleton in the back of your closet for the rest of your life, and call it a day. Rest assured that you are not the only one who has "indiscretions" that will never be told to anyone.

Speaking of not telling people, it's not your place to contact that guy's wife. Trust me, she knows deep down that he cheats.

I would just go moot on the subject. Save it as a memory to either beat yourself up or fantasize about later.

As a side note, your post is very graphic and I'm not sure how much value that adds to the story you are telling. There are fetishists out there that like to look in on us (mostly foot fetishists that I'm aware of), and you may want to consider honing down the graphic portion to a sentence or two saying you had sex with 3 guys. I also understand how writing things out can be therapeutic.

Anyway, it is what it is. Keep it to yourself. You have nothing to be embarrassed about if you don't tell anyone from here on out.

JMO & HTH

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Ok I am going to lay this to you straight, because this is really really disturbing to read.

You need help. You have a very serious drinking problem, and it is causing you to make very poor decisions. What you allowed to happen to you was a combination of self destructive behavior and addition.

Please get some help. Talk to a therapist of counseler who can help you find out why you are putting yourself in danger.

And please, dont let men take advantage of you again. You could get rapped or very hurt.

Hermes

imgoingstraighttohell wrote:

Sorry.

-- Edited by imgoingstraighttohell at 23:11, 2007-01-15

It's OK. You needed to talk to someone and get some of this out. Like I said, all you can do is learn from this. You did something you regret, and you need to ask yourself what you can do to help you make better choices. I think that's what you are in the process of doing, but just didn't have anyone to turn to so you could let it all out.

Just do what you think you need to do to make your life happier. Don't hesitate to post in the future if you need someone to vent to (just less graphic next time, k? )

Maddie · Coach

First of all, honey, I am so sorry. But as horrible as you feel right now, it will pass.

Okay. While I don't think this is a story you'd necessarily want to share over Thanksgiving dinner next year, I think this kind of thing is more common than you think. Of the people I know who lost their virginity after the age of eighteen it's all pretty bad stories where they just thought "fuck it" and did something they normally would never do. I've also found that drinking and being depressed have personally led me to make some pretty slutty decisions. However, I regret absolutely none of my sexual encounters because I really feel like I learned something and grew from each of them and without that I wouldn't be who I am today.

I don't think you should talk to those guys again because you're just going to get yourself into the same situation. I'm sure you're a wonderful woman worthy of respect, but that is not how any of them see you and hanging out with them again is only going to lead to repeats of your weekend. Plus you probably don't want most people in your life to find out so it's best to get rid of these guys. And absolutely do not tell his wife. It's not your place and wouldn't do any good. You don't want to get more caught up in this situation.

So while I think you might want to work on your drinking you should try not to beat yourself up too much over this. All of us have done stuff we aren't proud of.

squishy · Coach

Maddie wrote:

First of all, honey, I am so sorry. But as horrible as you feel right now, it will pass.

Okay. While I don't think this is a story you'd necessarily want to share over Thanksgiving dinner next year, I think this kind of thing is more common than you think. Of the people I know who lost their virginity after the age of eighteen it's all pretty bad stories where they just thought "fuck it" and did something they normally would never do. I've also found that drinking and being depressed have personally led me to make some pretty slutty decisions. However, I regret absolutely none of my sexual encounters because I really feel like I learned something and grew from each of them and without that I wouldn't be who I am today.

I don't think you should talk to those guys again because you're just going to get yourself into the same situation. I'm sure you're a wonderful woman worthy of respect, but that is not how any of them see you and hanging out with them again is only going to lead to repeats of your weekend. Plus you probably don't want most people in your life to find out so it's best to get rid of these guys. And absolutely do not tell his wife. It's not your place and wouldn't do any good. You don't want to get more caught up in this situation.

So while I think you might want to work on your drinking you should try not to beat yourself up too much over this. All of us have done stuff we aren't proud of.

i agree 100%. there are some people i know whose early sexual encounters are not hallmark moments, but they learned something about themselves in the process. how they lost their virginity doesn't speak at all about what kind of people they are, and i don't think it reflects who you are, either.

cut those guys off completely. they're going to only see you as an easy lay, and you're so much better than that. good luck in regards to your drinking problem... i hope you can find support in good people around you.