STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

yuck.

Kelly · Hermes

that's really weird. That would make me uncomfortable, too... it sounds more like you've been dating for a while than just being a few days away from a first date. If he's nice otherwise, I'd give him a chance. But if you're just iffy, this would really turn me OFF.

Vanessa · Kate Spade

First off, I don't think you're getting blown off.
Not to sound blunt, but his text sounds like a 19 yr-old, over-confident frat boy wrote it. Which to me, would be a turn-off.

He might still be fun. But, I say proceed with caution.

blubirde · Chanel

I definitely think it's overly familiar and that's one of my BIGGEST pet peeves. That said, I also know that some people try to be overly familiar to get past all the small talk crap, which is also understandable (because we all hate that too).

I'd just go to work next week and act normally. If he wants to get together with you, he can ask you and make plans. There's no need to act any differently, imo, because all the given information is out there. (He asked you out, you said yes, etc., etc., etc.)

So first I'd overlook his over familiarity, even given that it might tick you off/ick you out. It could be one of his ways of overcompensating for being nervous or trying to create a casual atmosphere or whatever. But second I'd listen to my intuition (your intuition). If he creeps you out or if you get player vibes, it's very likely you're right. Give him a shot and you'll know pretty shortly which of the above columns he falls in.

Good luck!

Oh, as for the text message - immature? probably. easier to do than telephone when nervous? most definitely. Look at it on the positive side, maybe you make him nervous.

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

Vanessa wrote:

First off, I don't think you're getting blown off.
Not to sound blunt, but his text sounds like a 19 yr-old, over-confident frat boy wrote it. Which to me, would be a turn-off.

He might still be fun. But, I say proceed with caution.

Good advice.

Elle · Hermes

I agree with everyone else. Put a tick mark under the 'Cons' column and proceed with caution. It could turn out to be the first of many tick marks in the 'Cons' column if he truly is a 19-year old frat boy on the inside. It could turn out to be one lonely tick mark if it was really just him being nervous about talking to you, and turns out to be a supremo catch.

Maybe it's better he disillusioned you a bit now, right upfront? That way if he does turn out to be stupid, you can consider this Fair Warning. If it works out, it will be a pleasant suprise! Better than not finding out he might be weird until you've been on 7 dates or something .

Good luck!

tri_sarah_tops · Marc Jacobs

Vanessa wrote:

First off, I don't think you're getting blown off.
Not to sound blunt, but his text sounds like a 19 yr-old, over-confident frat boy wrote it. Which to me, would be a turn-off.

He might still be fun. But, I say proceed with caution.

Totally agree. I'd still give him a chance but I wouldn't be expecting too much. But like Elle said, you might end up being plesantly surprised.

cat · Marc Jacobs

Vanessa wrote:

First off, I don't think you're getting blown off.
Not to sound blunt, but his text sounds like a 19 yr-old, over-confident frat boy wrote it. Which to me, would be a turn-off.

He might still be fun. But, I say proceed with caution.

I also agree with Vanessa.

Except the whole "babe" thing would turn me off completely ,but I HATE when guys that aren't my bf for a long time call me babe.To me it's so sexist.

-- Edited by cat at 18:50, 2006-12-30

Shello · Kenneth Cole

I am 19, and I really don't appreciate the kind of text messages that are in place of an expected call or even email or something. I make a point not to answer them if they make me uncomfortable or I don't think it's appropriate in the situation.

I would definitely wait for him to call, without answering the text, and like the others said, proceed with caution because I'm really hoping I won't be still dealing with college-type boys after college!

Kelly · Hermes

Also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use "u" instead of "you," and "n" instead of "and"...generally, just that awful IM stuff everyone slips into. If it were me I wouldn't go out with him just because of that

luckylily · Gucci

I agree that the text message thing seems totally immature. That said, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

It reminds me of the episode of Friends where Monica is calling someone and wants the voicemail to sound "breezy" but she sounds crazy.

ETA: I don't think you are being blown off. If he was blowing you off, he probably wouldn't have contacted you at all.

-- Edited by luckylily at 18:19, 2007-01-01

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I think it's a blow off. He demoted you from "Go out with me this weekend." To "Maybe hookup sometime this weekend." (With the implied message "I'll get in touch with you if I want to...") However, he may just be trying to play it really cool. Have you read the crap by "Doc Love" at askmen.com? He tells guys to do stuff like that and a LOT of guys follow it.

On the plus side, guys are most likely to act like this when they think a chick's hot. So you've got that going for you

Either way, this guy sounds flaky. I agree with Vanessa. Proceed with caution. And Bluebirde's plan sounds perfect. You'll win any game he's playing, and also avoid him if he's trouble.

Oh, and here's a charming sample of Doc Love's advice: what do if your girlfriend is getting fat (hint, it's because the guy isn't being enough of a "challenge")

http://www.askmen.com/dating/doclove_300/356_relationship_expert.html

-- Edited by Dizzy at 23:33, 2007-01-01

zeitgeist4 · Gucci

ttara123 wrote:

Also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use "u" instead of "you," and "n" instead of "and"...generally, just that awful IM stuff everyone slips into. If it were me I wouldn't go out with him just because of that

Me too! I can't stand "IM" talk.

Kelly · Hermes

n/m

-- Edited by ttara123 at 17:06, 2007-01-02

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

ttara123 wrote:

Also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use "u" instead of "you," and "n" instead of "and"...generally, just that awful IM stuff everyone slips into. If it were me I wouldn't go out with him just because of that

oh god, me too... it drives me UP THE WALL... it just isn't that much effort to type the two extra letters it takes to form the complete word "you!" Maybe you were joking but I honestly actually seriously think I couldn't go out with a guy who wrote text messages like that!

Farrah · Marc Jacobs

sephorablue wrote:

ttara123 wrote:

Also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use "u" instead of "you," and "n" instead of "and"...generally, just that awful IM stuff everyone slips into. If it were me I wouldn't go out with him just because of that

oh god, me too... it drives me UP THE WALL... it just isn't that much effort to type the two extra letters it takes to form the complete word "you!" Maybe you were joking but I honestly actually seriously think I couldn't go out with a guy who wrote text messages like that!

Yikes!! Remind me to be on my best text messaging behavior if I ever have to text you ladies, HAHAHAHA!!

member · Hermes

Farrah wrote:

sephorablue wrote:

ttara123 wrote:

Also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use "u" instead of "you," and "n" instead of "and"...generally, just that awful IM stuff everyone slips into. If it were me I wouldn't go out with him just because of that

oh god, me too... it drives me UP THE WALL... it just isn't that much effort to type the two extra letters it takes to form the complete word "you!" Maybe you were joking but I honestly actually seriously think I couldn't go out with a guy who wrote text messages like that!

Yikes!! Remind me to be on my best text messaging behavior if I ever have to text you ladies, HAHAHAHA!!

LOL I was just about to say the same thing!!! That's pretty much how I text message to cut down on length and save time!

As for the boy Metric, I totally don't think he's blowing you off. I think he doesn't know you very well, so he took the easy way out (probably because he was nervous) and texted you. At least he was thinking of you! It was the holidays and it sounds like he was busy w/family & friends. When you get back to work see if he makes any moves to ask you out...but the ball is definitely in his court.

Oh and as for calling you babe...to me it isn't that big of a deal. I mean if he turns out to be a creepy sleezeball, that's one thing, but I know a lot of people who just talk that way. Heck, I tend to call a lot of my friends babe, hun, chick, girly...could just be the way he's used to talking.

Good luck and keep us updated!

PrincessPink · BCBG

As a former dating expert (yes, I used to be a professional matchmaker for that company you see advertised in airplane magazines) I would say that you are not getting blown off, if you feel creeped out, then trust your gut. If you are willing to proceed, then go on one date and make a judgement call then on a second. Its a date - not a relationship. Give the guy a chance, expect very little and maybe you will be pleasantly surprised. Maybe not, but at least you will know in your heart that you gave it a shot. As for the texting - I'm over it. Seriously, in my world, if I got freaked out by men who only text as their primary form of communication, I'd never go out! Let us know what happens!!

lynnie · Chanel

i posted previously about how the guy i'm dating said "i luv u" through a text message as the first way of saying i love you. It was a turn off to me, but he said it in person a few days later and he is a gem of a guy- i'm glad i didn't overlook him because of that. And he definitely types things like i luv u 2. I think its just a joke to him. I like proper spellings of words myself, though i do abbreviate things as well. so its REALLY hard to say since you haven't hung out w/him yet. I definitely think he still deserves a chance- he may surprise you. I don't think guys think like we do when it comes to these kind of things.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

ttara123 wrote:

Also one of my biggest pet peeves is when people use "u" instead of "you," and "n" instead of "and"...generally, just that awful IM stuff everyone slips into. If it were me I wouldn't go out with him just because of that

Oh, I hate this too! The only reason my BF gets away with it is because we didn't start texting until a few months ago, when I was already hooked.

But that said, I agree with the others -- I wouldn't write him off just yet, and act the same as always at work, but see what he does.