STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Update...

So I hope this doesn't sound really bitchy or heartless, but since he came and took away all of his stuff I really don't feel that sad. I cried my eyes out Wednesday when he was packing and haven't cried since. I don't feel like it was anything I did or didn't do and nothing I could have done would have saved it- it was all him.

I'm nervous but a *tiny* bit excited about having to "start over". So many of "our" friends have been calling me and rallying around, I feel so much support and everyone thinks he is nuts. I have been asked out for coffee by a male acquaintance even (however I'm not quite ready yet). Christmas will be sad I think, we were supposed to spend it with his parents. And we had to cancel our trip for New Years, so that really sucks. 

I do miss him and I did really love him but he hasn't been "himself" for a while and that's really what I miss. I don't miss the guy who has been storing his clothes at our house for the past 6 months. He made it very easy to let him go.

The one thing I am pissed off about is a do feel a bit used. He lived with me and I helped support him while he was in school and now that he is done (he finished in November)- he takes off. Coincidence? I don't know. I was trying so hard to save for our down payment on a house and I thought he was too (we kept our finances separate- thank god!) But Tuesday night when we had our blow up he admitted he hadn't been saving at all and had gotten himself into over $10 000 in debt- not including his car and motorcycle payments. Are you kidding me?!? Wasted on nothing. So I am relieved that he was able to just take his debt and leave, its such a weight off my mind.

The past few days I have been feeling surprisingly good. I wonder if I should feel sadder...I feel a bit heartless getting over (not completely getting over but you know what I mean?) a 7 1/2 year relationship in like 2 days. But I realized that I felt so much lonlier in the relationship than now that its over.

Thank you girls for all of your kind words. It really helped to know I had such stroong support here. Love you guys!

I am glad you are okay with this.  Don't worry about not feeling sad enough.  There is only so much you can do, and you realize this.  I will warn you, but I am sure you already know, the sadness will come...it may not stay very long or may come at inopportune times, but it will come...but it sounds as if you will be ready to face it head on.  Good for you. 

You don't sound bitchy or heartless at all.  You've mentioned before that you two had been having some issues for a few months, so it may be somewhat of a relief even tho it still hurts.

Before I met my husband, I was with someone for 5 years.  My friends still tease me about our break up.  I bawled my eyes out for about two hours, then I took a shower and never felt badly about it again.  I even went on a date the following weekend!  Yeah, it was hard to adjust to single life again and also hard to come to the realization that something I thought would last forever wasn't going to.  But, in my heart, I knew that us being together wasn't right.  I also felt, like you seem too, that I tried really hard to make things work, and he put in no effort at all.  He just gave up as soon as the going got tough.

Anyway, whatever your feeling is right for you.  It sounds like you have an awesome, supportive friends.  And, I'm glad you are feeling pretty good about your decision.  {{{hugs}}}

I don't think thats bitchy or heartless at all- i felt the same way after my 3 year relationship ended.  I think the best is yet to come- there is something very invigorating and "alive" feeling about not giving up your dreams and settling- even if it means ending a long term relationship.  Just don't let it get messy, and try to not look back.  You are going to have so much fun!!