STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I should be qualified to answer you, since I was a buyer for a menswear chain, but I can't think of any books I'd recommend. Check used bookstores though - men's fashion basics don't change enough from decade to decade to make a difference.

However, I do know that unlike women's retail chains, high-end menswear retailers are usually staffed by expert old-school clothiers - not clerks. Even good department stores may have employees in the men's departments who really know their stuff. If your husband were to buddy up with one, it could be a big help.

When it comes to dressing up, he basically has the same choices you do:

Formal: tuxedo for him, long gown for you
Semi-formal: tuxedo or dark suit, long or short gown for you
Cocktail: dark suit or slacks plus sportcoat, short gown or equivalent for you. Depending on the geographic region you live in, you can be more or less casual with these choices.

For most normal people, formal occasions are rare, and until a man hits retirement age there may be no real reason to own a tux - especially considering one can now rent fairly high-end tuxes.

But he should have a black crepe and/or charcoal gray two-piece suit for all occasions. Look for a single-breasted two-button jacket and a notched lapel for the most wearable, least trendified look. At the very least he should be prepared for any wedding or funeral that may pop up.

Wool is the standard - but don't worry about it being hot, because Super 100 or 120 is a fine-gauge wool that breathes very well and is relatively wrinkle-resistant. It may be obvious, but in case it's not: men's suits must be tailored to fit each person. His tailor is his best friend, valet, father and psychiatrist all in one.

Another standard and almost universally acceptable outfit is gray flannel (not PJ flannel, really it's more like a tweed) slacks with a navy blazer in winter, or khakis with the same blazer in summer. Some men have two different navy blazers, one that's heavier for fall/winter, such as camel hair, one a lighweight wool for spring/summer. (A "blazer" has metal buttons. A "jacket" or "sportcoat" doesn't.) Like with women, he wouldn't wear navy and black together.

Since he may understandably opt not to wear a black suit for a daytime event in summer, he could look for a lighter/medium gray or taupe suit too. If all the suits are similar in weight, he can wear the taupe slacks with the black jacket and vice-versa, and generally mix and match for less fancy occasions. Just rotate the pieces evenly - in the good old days, a suit would come with two identical pairs of pants, for very good reasons.

As with women, it's in the details where his fashionability stands out. Men's accessories are called "furnishings," and that covers not just ties and belts and socks and scarves and pocket squares but also dress shirts. (Why a dress shirt is considered an accessory I do not know. It just makes things simpler for the retailer, I guess.)

At a minimum, white and pale blue dress shirts are necessary. A white shirt with a subtle gray or beige or pink/red stripe is also handy for less formal occasions. Dress shirts are not the same as normal casual button-front shirts - they are tailored to fit a man just so. A point or spread collar is better than a button-down collar, though many other styles will have hidden snaps or buttons. This is an area where an experienced clothier will be very valuable in terms of the type of collar that will be perfect for your husband based on the size and shape of his head. The salesman will measure his neck, sleeve, and torso to find the best fit. He should be re-measured every year or so. Getting the size right is critical. Go with a plain barrel cuff - not a French cuff. I know men like French cuffs so they can wear cuff links, but it's not appropriate for anything but fancy occasions.

Ties are very personal, but you can't go wrong with dark colors and a conservative pattern, such as red/burgundy with pink dots, navy with pastel blue stripes, black with beige, etc. It's tough to rock a solid-color tie other than a basic red or burgundy. The wonderful thing about menswear is that they are allowed to wear baby blue and red together, or pink and green, or other combos that don't occur in nature, because of the magic of ties.

Belts will always match shoes...which will most always be black. None of my suggestions above require anything but basic black lace-up dress shoes.

Socks will always match trousers - NOT shoes. You wear taupe socks with a taupe suit and black shoes. Gray socks with a gray suit and black shoes. The only time you wear black socks is with black slacks. Many people screw this up.

A good khaki trench/raincoat and maybe a black wool topcoat, if you live in a cold place, will be useful. A nice pair of black gloves and a scarf in white or ivory, or colors that blend with his ties, will be ultra chic.

Wow!  You both are HUGE helps.

Now that I come to think of it, I've never really paid much attention to how men dress.  My dad is a retired airline pilot, so he always wore his uniform when he "went to work" and when he was home, he was always working on house projects, so he's just wear his casual stuff to run errands to Home Depot. 

When I met DH, he really loved his camo pants.  And his orange nylon vest.  I'm so not kidding.  He has 1 suit, 1 linen blazer, 1 cord blazer, and a bunch of khakis and button up shirts, none of which are fitted for him or anything dressy.  On a day-to-day basis, he's fine and appropriately dressed for his office, but I think it'd be nice for him to have a few other options, especially for nicer occasions.

I think I'm going to print this post out, as a matter of fact.  I think we have some work to do, which I'm excited about!    (I can't believe I didn't think about men's magazines.  I think my brain temporarily left me today.)

http://www.askandyaboutclothes.com/

(specifically the forums)

-- Edited by jmango at 11:33, 2006-12-17

I have to agree on the French cuffs. We've slowly gotten DH into French cuff shirts, and though he only has one pair of cufflinks so far, I am always on the hunt for others. He gets lots of compliments whenever he wears French cuffs at work.

I think Suasoria provided some great, building-blocks info. Another nice alternative to black or brown shoes (though in some circles, brown shoes for men is hotly debated) is cordovan. DH wears beautiful cordovan shoes with some of his outfits and it's really a great look - and a little unexpected.

I agree with finding a salesperson - I'd look for someone whose outfit you really like (and that DH likes!) and talk to them. I don't remember if you have a Nordstrom near you, NC, but often we find some of the best-dressed guys in Nordie's menswear. We hooked up with one over the summer when DH was wanting to branch out in his tie options (he's rather conservative with ties, though he is not afraid of bold colored dress shirts). At first he was freaking out at the ties this guy was bringing...but by the time he got a little used to the idea, he bought a couple of great, bold ties that will work with many of his new dress shirts. We'd gone dress shirt shopping (elsewhere) and the Nordie's salesman literally covered a table with the shirts and then went running around bringing ties...it was so fun and really cool to see what colors / combos he put together. And now DH has gotten LOTS of compliments on his ties...I am not sure he'll ever go back to the conservative ones.

If there's no easily accessible Nordstrom, I've often found the people at Macy's men's department to be most helpful - they'll measure for / suggest shirts, hunt things down, etc.

And I agree with having a tailor - esp. for men's suits. If I could convince DH to get some of his dress shirts tailored, I'd be thrilled. He has the same problem that I do - broader up top and smaller in the waist - and so he has to fit the neck / shoulder area and the shirts nearly always end up baggy in the waist. He can't wear the slim/Euro fits because of the bulk on top. But he kind of thinks tailoring's unnecessary for him, except for suits. When he does get something altered, he uses my tailor.

Good luck! We'll expect a fashion show from C when we're next in Raleigh. :)

I'd love to see DH have a few french cuff shirts--he doesn't have any right now.  I think one or two for the time being would probably suffice, since there's just not many occasions when he needs to wear nicer shirts.  His work uniform pretty much consists of khakis, polos, and his black clogs and from what I can tell, that's perfectly appropriate for his office.  It's on nicer occasions when I have no idea how to help him out.

I think we'll hit up Nordies and probably Banana Republic.  I think we'll have good luck at both those places.

Atlgirl--when are you guys going to be in Raleigh next?  We still need to make it down to Atlanta someday.  We need to get our butts in gear!