STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

ranchera20 · Marc Jacobs

Then what? (long vent)

jacL · Coach

It is normal to stress about such things. You are in the middle of a huge life change. College is so much better than high school too, but it is a lot harder--I got As and Bs in high school without ever having to study then I went to college and had to learn how to study. I got the surprise of my life going into my first general chemistry exam after studying for a measly three hours and totallly bombing it! So maybe it is a good idea to not work if your dad is willing to help you with school. That is great and if he can do it, let him! I do think you should have a part-time job, but that it is okay to go your first year without one.

As for what classes to take, that is what the counselors are for. They will help you with everything. You might end up doing something medical, or something else--but worry abut it when the time comes. Right now, it is just important to study for your SAT (study hard but still make time for fun) and go to college. Worry about whether or not you can do it later (and you CAN do it!).

wetbandit42 · Marc Jacobs

jacL wrote:

It is normal to stress about such things.

jacLs so right. I remember my senior year of high school (hard to believe it's been three years since I graduated!) and it was stressful. I didn't know where I wanted to go to school, and I didn't know what I wanted to do. I wish I had visited my career counselor, they can probably help you sort of figure out what you want to do. Figuring out what you want to do when you're only 18 is scary, and hard! But you can do it.

I only had one job in hs, and I haven't had one since. Not the best idea. I would recommend getting a part time job. And, by all means (this might sound bad), if your Dad can afford to pay for your school, then let him do it! My parents have paid all my tution, and it's really nice to not have to worry about debt and loans. Most of my friends pay their own way (at least partially) and it's so scary to hear them talk about financial aid and loans. But on the flip side, since my parents have spoiled me so much, I know almost nothing about money, or living in the real world. I would definitely get a part time job so that you can experience some of that. I need to work on finding myself one next semester. Maybe you could pay for some of it so that when you get to the real world you won't be as freaked out as I am?

I know it sounds scary, but we believe in you! Good luck ranchera!

kittenheels · Coach

Hi - I'm going back to my 10th year high school reunion this Thanksgiving, so I definitely have been thinking about that stage of my life lately...

I think you are very smart to study for the SAT - it can only give you more options. I would tend to agree with your dad about studies...it is such a generous present your parents give you by allowing you to opt out of a job, I would tend to take full advantage of it to give everything into your school.

I remember the anxiety and the stress- it's such a hard time! But, it's also a time of tremendous opportunity and room for change for you! Don't worry about your career...I thought I wanted to be a nursery school teacher and now I'm an employment lawyer...I would recommend trying out all sorts of options!

Good luck and keep us posted on the process!

squishy · Coach

are you a junior or senior in HS?

don't pressure yourself any more than you need to. you don't need to have your life figured out when you get your diploma. that's what freshman year is for :) ask upperclassmen, go to your counselor, take classes that sound interesting. i think a lot of students are intimidated by the sheer breadth of courses that are available to them, but tend to limit themselves to what they're familiar with. when shopping for classes, check out reading lists, flip through textbooks and see if it's material you'd be interested in.

and choosing a major isn't super critical. study something you love, not something you think you'll love. if you're worried about practicality (in getting jobs etc), there's the option of pursuing a double major or a minor. if you study something you like, it's probably going to reflect in your grades.

re: money... if your father is willing to help you out, i'd take it. you have the rest of your life to pay him back if you wish, and i think your time during the academic year would be better spent focusing on the next stage of your life, especially if you're looking to go for graduate programs. you could get a job during the summer when you don't have to overextend yourself.

i'm currently applying to medical schools, so if you have any specific questions, PM me. good luck! the paperwork/studying can be intimidating, but it's most definitely doable.

-- Edited by squishy at 00:48, 2006-11-09

Kelly · Hermes

I know it's stressful, but I really do think you'll be fine. Most of us have been through it before! Your counselor can help you decide how to take your classes, and if you take a lot of gen ed in the beginning, you might discover something you never thought about! I picked up two extra minors (and would probably have picked up more if I could have!) just because I became so interested during the Gen Ed classes. If you're really interested in a medical field, go for it! Medical School can definitely be tough - my friend is in med school right now, and even without a job he's using all his free time to study and bust his ass, and he's one of the smartest people I know. But it will be worth it if that's what you want to do. Don't let Grey's Anatomy dissuade you - the reason it's on TV is because it's fun to watch. It's fun to watch because it's more dramatic than real life. If it wasn't, they would save a lot of money just filming real doctors!

If your parents can and are willing to help pay for college, let them! I'm not sure exactly what the situation with my brother is, since my parents don't talk about it and we're in entirely different situations (I went away to school on a scholarship, he stayed home without one). But I do get the feeling they help me more than they help him - and actually, they have helped me more and more the longer I've been in school as my classes have gotten harder and I've had less time to devote to working. And it has been a lifesaver - not having to worry (as much!) about how I'm going to buy groceries or pay my bills has helped me concentrate on school a lot more. Maybe your parents couldn't afford to help your siblings, and saw how hard it was for them. You don't have to feel bad about benefitting from your parents changing their minds!

I do think getting a job could be a good idea. If nothing else, it will help prepare you for your first job out of college, as well as maybe open up opportunities and help you network to get that first job! Having employment history helps get internships, new jobs, etc. You could even get one on campus when you do go to college, but that's a while away.

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

I know it feels like you should have everything figured out already, but that's what college is for! Or even the first few years after college! Or even the rest of your life! Believe me, I used to get really stressed out (and still do) because I felt like I should have it all figured out. But I'm coming to realize that it will work out, as long as I keep my eyes open for opportunities.

As for college...well, college is awesome. LOVED IT. You meet tons of people, can take lots of interesting classes, the world is your oysterd. But I would recommend not having a job until after your first quarter or semester, because there's a lot of adjusting to do in those first months, as you figure out how much studying you need to do, what expectations are, how the workload is, etc. But here are the things I regret doing/not doing in college:

1. Waiting until my senior year to study abroad

2. Not saving money from my part time jobs. If your dad is willing to pay for college, let him, and sock away every single penny you can!!!!!

3. Not taking more introductory classes in lots of different disciplines - I explore sociology, psychology, art history, linguistics, literature, and so many other things if I did it all over again.

4. Not participating in more clubs/activities. I devoted my first 2 years to being a coxswain.

Basically, if I were to do college over, I would have done more internships, participated in more clubs, and explored my academic options more.

ranchera20 · Marc Jacobs

Thanks girls! Seriously ya'll made me feel a lot better. I will def. save this post and read it whenever I start panicking again!

Squishy- I am a senior this yr. And I will def. PM you in the future

And I guess I will let my dad pay for my school and I could help out whenever I can. I for sure will work this summer and start saving up some money for the future.

Thanks again girls