STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Elle · Hermes

What am I supposed to say to that?!

AllieGurl · Marc Jacobs

It was just a man hissy fit. They all have them :)

how about " well then lets deciede together what we should do. We talked about limited $$, so if the fridge is that important to you, maybe we could just buy the washing machine and wait on the dryer. "

That would make him realize how stupid an idea that is ..

(and by the way were the boss, because usually were right!

)

NCshopper · Hermes

How about something like "No, I'm not the boss. We're partners in everything we do. I thought we had discussed earlier that because of financial restraints and priorities, we were going to get the W/D now and get the refrigerator later. Is there a reason we suddenly need to rethink that plan?"

It won't solve the argument, but at least you'd be assuring him that you're not just trying to steamroll over his ideas. And it throws the ball back in his court to explain why he's changed his mind.

valenciana · Dooney & Bourke

yeah, i know exactly what you mean. DH is like this all the time...well okay, not actually all the time, just during his time of the month. seriously though, he does get randomly, irrationally crabby in the exact way that you described, blaming me for not knowing that he disagrees with me even though he's never said so. sheesh.

i don't really have any advice other than to just ride it out. my usual response to the "you're the boss" kind of thing is to just shake my head and roll my eyes (not very mature, i know) and try to remove myself from the situation for a few minutes so everyone can calm down. which actually usually works. you said walking away hasn't worked in the past, but this is more of just a time-out, and then you can come back and be rational (hopefully).

overall though, i wouldn't worry too much about it...boys are just dumb and annoying. it's in their nature.

Eurodaisy · Dooney & Bourke

NCshopper wrote:

How about something like "No, I'm not the boss. We're partners in everything we do. I thought we had discussed earlier that because of financial restraints and priorities, we were going to get the W/D now and get the refrigerator later. Is there a reason we suddenly need to rethink that plan?"

It won't solve the argument, but at least you'd be assuring him that you're not just trying to steamroll over his ideas. And it throws the ball back in his court to explain why he's changed his mind.

I like this a lot. He's just trying to end the discussion with a huffy comment like that, and it's best if you don't let him get away with it, because it's just juvenile.

Oh, and if it's any consolation, my DH does this, too... and I'm usually not as nice as you about it!

mikacat · Coach

Elle-

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shopgirl82 · Chanel

i would bite my tongue and not say anything.

when i'm in a mood like that, nothing my SO says is going to right. i can't and frankly don't want to hear anything, even if it's the voice of reason. i would discuss it calmly, once you've both cooled down at home. it's not fair for him to do that to you, but it happens (hopefully, less than more).

remind him that there will be good sales around thanksgiving.

Elle · Hermes

Thanks you guys! It makes me feel better that your boys do it too - what shall we call it? How 'bout a Mantrum (man + tantrum )?

Um, I wasn't exactly nice after he said it .
The word asshole may have passed my lips .
And by 'leaving the situation', I meant 'drive home and leave him at the store' .

I probably shouldn't have agreed to even go do appliances last night - he'd been in a mood all day, I don't know why I expected anything short of irrational moodiness at the store too!

I know what you mean about not being able to hear the voice of reason when you're in that kind of a mood - I'm the same way. I think the lack of ability to think a rational thought when in a mood and expect me to go along with it is MUCH more irritating than the mood itself. He's notorious for getting a wild hare up his ass when he's in a mood, deciding he wants to do/buy something and nags me enough that I finally give in (because if he's harping that much it must be important, right? But no, that would be too rational!), and then after the mood passes he realizes that whatever he did/bought wasn't such a good idea after all. Noooooo, realllllly?!?

I have had luck pointing that out in the past, even while in the midst of an actual mood, so maybe I'll try to remember to do that more often. That way I can usually get him to laugh at himself, and it diffuses the situation a bit.

Maybe I can suggest the fridge being our Christmas present to ourselves this year ....

Le sigh. Silly boys!

-- Edited by Elle at 20:22, 2006-11-01

blubirde · Chanel

Don't feel weird about complaining about your DH. Everyone's SO is an ass at some point or another (and I suppose they could say the same about us). It just seems that boys are the most unreasonable. Hee!

I guess if it were me and I didn't want to start a fight, I might just humor him for awhile and look at fridges and prices and all that jazz. I'd just make sure we weren't buying that night so he could come to his senses the next day. Maybe it's just certain stores? My bf goes apeshit crazy when he's in Best Buy (or like stores) and wants to buy anything and everything even though we just had a conversation about cutting back on expensive activities to save money, pay debt, whatever. Of course in my case, it's his money and not "ours" so my only say is advice but still - it's annoying and ridiculous.

Who am I kidding? If my bf had been pissy with me, he'd definitely get an earful. And a good stomping away and pouting session in front of the tvs. I'm extremely mature.

*sigh* Yeah, boys suck sometimes.

Maybe you could look at someplace like Best Buy, Circuit City, Conns, etc. that might have a no interest for 24 months or something? That way you might be able to buy the fridge and just pay a little bit right now and more later.

blink · Coach

Don't worry about complaining about him, plenty of husbands act especially immature to their own wives.

I could think of a dozen sassy replies back, but my DH gets bent out of shape when I get sarcastic...can't handle a little humor at his expense, you know? So, maybe you could have said something like, "Not trying to be a dictator here hon, let's at least research this model a little bit before we just spend $600 on impulse."

Otherwise, you can always diffuse by just going along with him and agree to at least go ahead and start looking at what kind of fridge to buy and looking so you know exactly what you will buy "someday." It's a big purchase on an item that will last half a lifetime, so you don't want to buy one on impulse. Figure out the model and make that you both like (I like to consult Consumer Reports), then sit back and wait for a sale.