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Post Info TOPIC: It only gets worse UPDATE: I'm really sad
BargainQueen


Marc Jacobs

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Date:
It only gets worse UPDATE: I'm really sad
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***UPDATE, see new post below.***


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I know this is work related, but its involving a "friend.


My HR dept has threatened me to issue me a write-up.


I'll try and make it short.  3.5 months ago I hired a girl and we became friends outside of work.  She went to San Diego w/us for labor day and since she used to run a party store, she offered to rent me the linens for my mom's 25th anni. dinner.  So for the past month we were going to lunch together and after the wedding, she had said some pretty disturbing things that completely freaked me out and decided to distance myself.  By pure coincedence, the same week, one of my very shy employees approached me and said he felt my "friend" wasnt pulling her own weight and felt bombarded w/work, he had been feeling this way for a few weeks, but was only telling me because I recently had said that whatevr was discussed in private meetings would be held confidential.


SO the following happened in one short week. So I decided to tell her "I've noticed I may have been distracting you while you work and you have fallen back on your accuracy, its best we seperate work and friends.  Lets be professional at work and we can hang out after work, K?" OMG, she went psycho fatal attraction on me.  She cried everyday at work and made scenes in the bathroom.  She has this older boyfirend unwilling to commit (I can see why now) not yet divorsed man, and all of us thought all the crying was over him. Fast forward to Monday, she says shes been crying over me, loosing weight and having asthma attacks cuz of "us". EEWWW.  She walked out, dropped everything on Monday at noon because she "couldnt handle it".  Handle what!? It was work as usual!!! The next day she called in sick because of the asthma attacks I supposedly caused. I now realize that I should have notified HR at this point, but of course I was being "nice".  So yesterday she came in and asked how I was feeling, WTF?  I told her fine but we needed to talk about her attendance and told her she couldnt just walk out whenver she wanted w/o approval.  She started bawling all over again about "us" (eww) and even went to say that I had a bunch of immature people working for me and that the only person being treated unfairly is her.  AT that point she walked away and dissapeared for an hour came back took all stuff and left.  According to the HR manager the reason I wasnt notified until 5 HOURS later that she had quit is because she feared I would do somthing to the linens I rented from her (they were in my garage, which DH has been trying to return, but she refused).  OK this girl is twice my size & weight , shouldnt I be afraid?


This AM this girl decides to show up my house literally 2 minutes after DH left for work demanding to get in and get her stuff. I had told her she couldnt come if DH wasnt there. I was alone w/ my 2yr old.  She threatened to call the police and I welcomed her to.  Finally my wonderful DH raced back from work and opened the garage for her to take her crap.  BUT she called HR to tell them !!!!  the stupid HR lady says I should have let her in and what I did was wrong! ITS MY HOUSE!


Anyway, I learned not be make friends outside of work w/my direct employees, but I think I was treated unfairly and all the blame is being put on me.  Ive learned not to be "super nice" and give everyone too many chances and I will be much much more firm w/new employees to come. IVe worked my butt off to get to where I am and have given the co. 4years went from customer service agent to Global Account Manager w/no prior warnings/write ups and this biatch comes around for 3mths and ruins it for me.  Im literally in tears! My cute German boss said not to worry about it and he was under no circumstances going to write me up, but Im still really upset the HR lady is pushing towards it!


Thanks for letting me vent!


Edit: Im so upset I made so many grammar/spelling errors, sorry.



-- Edited by BargainQueen at 16:35, 2006-10-26

-- Edited by BargainQueen at 12:49, 2006-11-07

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Kelly


Hermes

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Date:
RE: I'm really sad
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awwww, I have no advice but that sucks! She's being a huge baby. You completely had the right not to let this psycho in your house, especially with your baby there. I hope things at work get better.

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Collette


Chanel

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Scary stuff, I hope it doesn't esclate for you!

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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oh my!  what a crazy person!!  i'm like you, im too nice and i want to think that everyone else is nice and normal too.  what a wake up call.  i hope things work out.  it sounds like you didn't do anything wrong.  good luck. 

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calichic


Dooney & Bourke

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oh.my.gosh. Wow, that is really scary. I really hope everything gets better because that is totally crazy.

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Kitty


Hermes

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There's a reason they say business and pleasure don't mix.

I don't even understand why HR has gotten involved

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FashionFreak


Kenneth Cole

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I'm sorry, I hope you feel better.

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nunzi182


Kate Spade

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Kitty wrote:

There's a reason they say business and pleasure don't mix.

I don't even understand why HR has gotten involved


I agree. Since the incident of her coming to your house happened outside of work hours, after she had quit, then I don't understand how they have boo to say about it. I wouldn't let HR bother you. However, crazy girl is quite upsetting. I don't really have any advice other than don't be too upset about the HR thing especially since your boss is on your side.

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BargainQueen


Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2001
Date:
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**UPDATE**


I cant wait for this to be over.  The girl filed for workers comp and supposedly saw a doctor who sent her to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with an "anxiety disorder" and she's saying I caused it!  The workers comp. lady even told me, "if I knew you could file workers comp because you're stressed at work, the entire working force would have filed by now!"


So apparently they denied the claim, since she only worked for us exactly 3 months and in order to be considered for workers comp, you must work at least 6 mths for the employer.  PLUS its not valid!  She also is claiming I harrased and discriminated against her and she repeatedly told me to stop and I continued!! OMG!  I'm the most soft spoken and nicest boss on the floor! My boss couldn't believe she was trying to get away w/saying those things.


I'm still really worried because she came back to the HR office and mentioned she had spoken to a lawyer and now the company's lawyers are all up in arms just in case her psycho a** sues.  I cant help but feel guilty for everything the company is going through, if only I had never been her friend.  On top of that I had 3 nightmares on Sunday night where I kept getting fired because of this and waking up and realizing it was a nightmare and going through it all over again! Then on Monday my boss comes to my desk and says we "need to talk" about the current situation.  He assured me not to worry but mentioned its "not good, nor bad".  I get to meet w/him in another hour, but I'm freaking out!!!!


Please send good vibes my way, I'm a wreck right now!



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squishy


Coach

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Posts: 1540
Date:
RE: It only gets worse UPDATE: I'm really sad
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omg, this is like occupational basic instinct!  if she's this batshit crazy, she must have done something similar at her previous positions.  hopefully there's a documented pattern of this.


it sounds like your boss is on your side.  i hope it works out for you!!



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nonsense!
blubirde


Chanel

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That sucks but you can't control crazy people. Like certain other bodily functions, they happen. As an attorney, they always say if you haven't had at least one grievance/lawsuit filed against you (hopefully they lost), you aren't doing your job right. I don't know if that's true but it happens, ya know?


(((hugs))) I hope your meeting goes alright and that girl pisses off already.



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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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This is the craziest co-worker story I've ever heard! She sounds totally insane. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

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Kelly


Hermes

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oh my gosh! She's so crazy! I'm so sorry you have to deal with all of this

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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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HOLY CRAP... sounds like this psycho has not so much an "anxiety disorder" as a "completely insane disorder." Like, actually, seriously mentally ill. This is not normal behavior! I'm sorry you're getting the brunt of it, though... let us know what happens...

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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So sorry you have to deal with this! What a nut job!

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calichic


Dooney & Bourke

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I'm so sorry that it has gotten worse. Sending good vibes.

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cat


Marc Jacobs

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Wow! I am so sorry you are going through this.

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kittenheels


Coach

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I am sorry you are dealing with this.  It sounds like she is mentally unbalanced.  You might want to keep a log of the times she has done scary or menacing things to you so you can keep HR informed.


I hope it works out for you and things calm down soon!



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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I'm so sorry - this sounds really hard. Good luck with everything sweetie!

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