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Post Info TOPIC: I need to stop being so judgmental...
D


Hermes

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I need to stop being so judgmental...
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I was at a friend's party last night, and there was this guy there that I hadn't seen around before. He was kind of lanky with long hair and dressed kinda funky. I didn't know if he walked off the street and crashed the party or what. Anyway, he kept staring at me, and eventually came and sat on the other side of the sofa arm so that his head was inches from mine. He introduced himself (Kenny) and wanted to shake my hand, and I'm thinking who is this, does anyone know him, and is there anything wrong with him? He was trying to join in the conversations I was having with people and I was being a little anti-social with him, and he eventually went away. I asked someone "who is that guy?" and I was told he's the lead guitarist for Kid Rock.  This is someone who would have been interesting to talk to, but I blew it because I was being judgemental.  I did redeem myself later by being nice and engaging later, but I was reminded to not be so judgemental and give people a chance.  Or maybe he really is a creep and I should have been stand-offish?


anyway... I of course had to google him (Kenny Tudrick) - he actually looks pretty hot in these pics:




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Kelly


Hermes

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Maybe being judgemental because of how he looks was wrong and you did miss an opportunity. However, if this guy was just sitting across the room and staring at you, that is creepy. Even hot guitarists don't get amnesty from that.

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Farrah


Marc Jacobs

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I really do applaud this post D.  I am glad that you realized that you shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.  Many people do this to my younger brother and it upsets me terribly.  They assume that he is a weirdo because he has long hair and a beard and several tatoos (I think he looks like Rob Zombie a bit).  He is actually a really smart guy and is one of the sweetest people that I know.  Once people get to know him they find this out and it is no longer a mystery why he is so popular. 


You should see how people look at us when were together...it is actually pretty funny though:).



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jah


Dooney & Bourke

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I have a tendency to do the same thing and think there is a little bit of that in most of us...


However, I do have to say, I sure wish I would've had him staring at me at night.  Sheesh, he is seriously hot in that second pic! 



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shopgirl


Kenneth Cole

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Here's a question for you: If you hadn't learned he played with Kid Rock would you have still wanted to talk to him later?

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D


Hermes

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shopgirl wrote:

Here's a question for you: If you hadn't learned he played with Kid Rock would you have still wanted to talk to him later?


See! that's the question. To be honest, he initially creeped me out. He was a stranger who was staring at me and then invaded my personal space.  I thought he might be some neighborhood lunatic or something. I think what I judged was not just based on the way he looked, but the way he acted in combination with the way he looked.  Honestly, I tend to be intrigued by people who look different because they tend to be creative/interesting. But because he was so quiet, my interest wasn't piqued.  Then, once I found out who he was I was flattered to get his attention. And to be honest, after seeing his pics, I have a little crush on him hey, I'll take all the ego boosts I can get right now...


Anyway - maybe I was right to be creeped out, and shallow to be flattered?



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NCshopper


Hermes

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I dunno--it sounds like you were creeped out by him not solely based on his looks.  I mean, if someone's acting kinda weird--invading your personal space, staring at you, etc--then you have legitimate reason to be wary, no matter who he is or what he looks like, you know?  It sounds like if he had acted normally to begin with, you would have wanted to talk to him.  Don't beat yourself up about feeling judgemental.  As women, I think we have a balancing act to play when it comes to judging people for safety's sake.



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squishy


Coach

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NCshopper wrote:

As women, I think we have a balancing act to play when it comes to judging people for safety's sake.


amen!!!!!!! 


think of it the other way.  if you knew it was kid rock's guitarist, and were enamored with him despite the fact that he was frickin creepy, you'd need to get some judgement supplements for christmas, you know?


better to be safe than.. well.. you already know :)



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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I agree with the other girls. So what if this guy turned out to be important. He was still creepy.

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blubirde


Chanel

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D wrote:


To be honest, he initially creeped me out. He was a stranger who was staring at me and then invaded my personal space.  I thought he might be some neighborhood lunatic or something.


...


Anyway - maybe I was right to be creeped out, and shallow to be flattered?




If I were you, I would have been creeped out too. I'm not too judgmental about looks (you can't be in a town like Austin b/c the guy you thought was a homeless bum on the corner could very well be a zillionaire - weird) but I'm seriously judgmental about the way people act. If I get even a wiff of a sleeze factor, I've got my mind made up and I'm as anti-social as I can be to that person. And I'm not an anti-social person at all in normal situations.


I wouldn't worry about it b/c, quite frankly, if you never learned his true identity, you wouldn't have ever thought twice about your behavior. That said, I don't think it's shallow to be flattered a famous person/rock star took to you. I think it's natural. It would have been shallow for you to have suddenly been all over him or something after you found out, creepiness and all.


Besides, it's a good story. "I thought he was a creep but then I found out he was in a band and he became much cooler." Funny and self-effacing. Can't beat a better tale than that.



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poptart


Coach

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I think your approaches were right on.


First, you were a little creeped out by an intense stare. Who wouldn't be? Then, you found out that people did know who he was and he has an interesting job, so went and talked to him. Good recovery.


Then, you thought about your initial reaction and considered that it might have been a bit judgmental, and you made a resolution to think a little more in the future before having an automatic reaction. Very introspective and a good idea (I think most people, myself included, are overly judgmental).


Then, you googled him (always an appropriate action) and shared his pic with us (a very good idea b/c he is seriously hot).



ETA: I just scrolled back up and looked at the pic again and I need to add another seriously. He is seriously, seriously hot.


 



-- Edited by poptart at 15:33, 2006-10-17

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D


Hermes

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poptart wrote:


I think your approaches were right on.


First, you were a little creeped out by an intense stare. Who wouldn't be? Then, you found out that people did know who he was and he has an interesting job, so went and talked to him. Good recovery.


Then, you thought about your initial reaction and considered that it might have been a bit judgmental, and you made a resolution to think a little more in the future before having an automatic reaction. Very introspective and a good idea (I think most people, myself included, are overly judgmental).


Then, you googled him (always an appropriate action) and shared his pic with us (a very good idea b/c he is seriously hot).



ETA: I just scrolled back up and looked at the pic again and I need to add another seriously. He is seriously, seriously hot.


 




-- Edited by poptart at 15:33, 2006-10-17



thank you for the validation, poptart   I know, the pics grow on you, don't they? there's a part of me that wants to hang out at my friend's house more in the hopes that I might get stared at again, even if it was creepy the first time around (yeah, I might be married, but I'm not dead!)


blubirde - I love this line "I thought he was a creep but then I found out he was in a band and he became much cooler." lol



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BargainQueen


Marc Jacobs

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D wrote:



blubirde - I love this line "I thought he was a creep but then I found out he was in a band and he became much cooler." lol





Hilarious!!!! Blubirde, I hope you dont mind but you just became my signature line!



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blubirde


Chanel

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BargainQueen wrote:


D wrote:



blubirde - I love this line "I thought he was a creep but then I found out he was in a band and he became much cooler." lol






Hilarious!!!! Blubirde, I hope you dont mind but you just became my signature line!





Nope, don't mind at all. See, D? Good story.



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