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Gucci

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help me with my friend
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I need some advice on letting my friend down easy. Help me find the words to tell her...


Due to some family stuff, a good girlfriend of mine (one of my bff's) has decided she doesn't want to be here for Xmas this year. Insted she wants to go on vacation and has decided that since I am her only friend who isn't married/pregnant/with children, I will be going with her. She is trying to convince me to go to Mexico for Xmas but there is totally no way I can do it. I don't want to leave my bf and my family, can't take the time from work, and most of all can't afford it. Also we (the bf and I) have already been invited on a ski weekend for New Years that would conflict with it. In not terms would I be able to go...


I have told her that I would like to but it isn't possible. That appears to have been a mistake because she took that as a yes. I have tried to be gentle and explain the situation to her but she doesn't get it. She will not take no for an answer. She is convinced that I will be going with her, come hell or high water. Every conversation we have is about Mexico and every time I try to change the subject she turns it right back.


I need to be firm and tell her. Please help me find the words without hurting her feelings?



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atlgirl


Gucci

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Posts: 2881
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It sounds like you've tried everything you could to be diplomatic about this. It's time to stop being gentle and firmly let her know that you cannot come with her. Use work or finances (or both) as your reason, and simply give her a solid "no". And if she continues to press you or insist that you're coming, stop discussing it entirely. She'll come to terms with it on her own - presumably before she's at the airport and realizes that you're not boarding the plane with her. ~wink~

Some people assume that with enough peer pressure, they can force everyone to give in to their wants. I don't know if that's a true description of your friend, but if she's not hearing your diplomatic "no" for whatever resason, then you'll have to be more blunt. I know it's not easy, but better now than later.

Good luck!

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blubirde


Chanel

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Posts: 4845
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I agree with atlgirl. Is there any way you can invite her to your family's xmas or whatever your plans are so she'll have another option besides her fam?


If she keeps bringing it up, I'd say, "you know I can't go, right?" and see what happens. Btw, this situation sucks - so sorry!



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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2130
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I agree with the other girls. And from someone who's been there, is there anything ELSE you can do to make this holiday easier on her? The first Christmas after my exhusband left was horrible. And I never forgave the friends that were too busy to even return my calls. It sounds liek she's trying to work something out.

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