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Post Info TOPIC: UPDATED- I think I've lost my mind. Please help me find it. (long)


Coach

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RE: UPDATED- I think I've lost my mind. Please help me find it. (long)
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Ah, Kenzie, that stinks! Quit your job!

To add to the ... verisimilitude (?) ... of his position. I totally understand, and the work thing could be a complete dealbreaker for me, too. I know it sounds silly to a lot of people, but I totally understand where he is coming from. I can't stand having people talking about me or in my business at work. And, the one time I dated a guy at work (when I was just out of college and stupid) I ended up in the position of knowing that he was going to be fired and not being able to say anythng to him. So it *can* go very, very badly, and for anyone who's ever been there, dating at work again is a tricky thing.

Again, I say ... quit!!! Kidding.

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Marc Jacobs

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Don't quit. If he wants hamburger let him have it. Work, schmurk, whatever. He gave a logical position that he's going to dig in to. And if that's who he is, um, that could be really problematic if y'all started a real relationship. I think this filet might look better than it is at the moment, because of the all the hamburger. (I am so eating hamburger, with nothing but that and maybe some tuna in sight for a LONG whilte). But really, if that's how he reacted, that would kind of turn me off.

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Marc Jacobs

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mcstubborn is being mcstupid! how can he let the opportunity to be with you go by?!

i applaud you for going out on a limb and telling him how you feel even if it didn't turn out the way you hoped it would. like dizzy said, this would end up being a turn-off for me too. yes, office relationships can go bad. we probably all have some stories we could share on that. but they don't all go bad! this really irks me on your behalf.

you and mcstubborn sound like you really have a connection with each other, like each other, make each other laugh -- but i don't think anyone should ever have to convince someone to go out with them. you know what i mean? he shouldn't care about this office thing, not after your history together. he's letting the chance at something real and special pass him by. that is his mistake, not yours.

you've known each other for a long time, and crossed the "just friends" boundary line a while ago. i know you didn't mention this, but my unsolicited advice is to re-create the "just friends" boundary into a high stone wall. no, ahem, pipe maintenance any more, not in the kitchen or anywhere else. if he's going to stand by the not dating decision, then i don't think he should be allowed to be more than friends with you. just my two cents. :)

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Chanel

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scarlett wrote:



you've known each other for a long time, and crossed the "just friends" boundary line a while ago. i know you didn't mention this, but my unsolicited advice is to re-create the "just friends" boundary into a high stone wall. no, ahem, pipe maintenance any more, not in the kitchen or anywhere else. if he's going to stand by the not dating decision, then i don't think he should be allowed to be more than friends with you. just my two cents. :)




For what it's worth, I actually haven't let him cross the 'just friends' boundary since June, actually (not in any major way anyway). I wanted to see if he'd still hang around. And he has. I think for him, crossing that boundary again would equal dating, so I doubt that's even going to be an issue. Like I said before, it's hard to explain him to people who don't know him. He's unique, that's for sure.


But I agree, this is his stupid mistake and one that I hope he comes to regret. But I'm not going to say anything else to him about it. There's not much left to say anyway.



-- Edited by kenzie at 17:58, 2006-10-07

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Marc Jacobs

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kenzie wrote:

scarlett wrote:



you've known each other for a long time, and crossed the "just friends" boundary line a while ago. i know you didn't mention this, but my unsolicited advice is to re-create the "just friends" boundary into a high stone wall. no, ahem, pipe maintenance any more, not in the kitchen or anywhere else. if he's going to stand by the not dating decision, then i don't think he should be allowed to be more than friends with you. just my two cents. :)




For what it's worth, I actually haven't let him cross the 'just friends' boundary since June, actually (not in any major way anyway). I wanted to see if he'd still hang around. And he has. I think for him, crossing that boundary again would equal dating, so I doubt that's even going to be an issue. Like I said before, it's hard to explain him to people who don't know him. He's unique, that's for sure.


But I agree, this is his stupid mistake and one that I hope he comes to regret. But I'm not going to say anything else to him about it. There's not much left to say anyway.



-- Edited by kenzie at 17:58, 2006-10-07




I think he will regret this -- sooner or later, he's going to realize he's made a mistake.

eta: I'm relieved you didn't mind me giving you the unsolicited advice. :)

-- Edited by scarlett at 10:56, 2006-10-08

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Chanel

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So is he still going to see that other girl?


Are you going to actively seek out other guys to date?


Basically I'm wondering if this means you're going to wait for him to be ready or if this is the beginning of the end type thing. It looks like it's entirely your decision. I'm just wondering which one you'll choose.


Boo work boy!



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Chanel

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blubirde wrote:



So is he still going to see that other girl?


Are you going to actively seek out other guys to date?


Basically I'm wondering if this means you're going to wait for him to be ready or if this is the beginning of the end type thing. It looks like it's entirely your decision. I'm just wondering which one you'll choose.


Boo work boy!





I'm not entirely sure what I'm going to do. I'm going to let him mull it over for a while and see what happens. Sometimes, he's a little slow out of the gate, so I'm giving him time to really digest the information that I dumped on him. He was pretty shocked and I'm sure it didn't register right away.


That said, I've never been one to wait around and I truly believe that whatever's meant to be will be, especially now that I know I've done all that I can. So, I'm not waiting with baited breath or anything and if someone else comes along that interests me, I'm not going to write them off. But at the same time, I haven't cross McStubborn off the list, either.



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