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shopgirl82


Chanel

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Holidays...
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so i had to go over my schedule with my family to figure out vacation.  i have to work every other holiday, so i have to be here for thanksgiving this year and christmas i have off.  so i talked to my SO and we want to spend christmas together for the first time in years.  which means, i'm going to S.F. with his family (yay!  babies, and wineries, and a different part of  the country).  and since my brother is out of vacation, and my sister will just be finishing up school, my parents have decided to come up here for thanksgiving because frankly, last year when it was just my immediate family, it was soooooooo nice.  but i really just want to tell my extended family all the reasons why i will not be home...



  • i haven't seen my dad's side of the family in about a year, and when i lived at home i used to see them all the time and i know the next time i see them they will give me slack so i would rather them just do it behind my back.

  • i don't want to hear about my awful morals about living with a guy before marriage (my parents understand, why can't they?)

  • my cousin who's a year younger and my cousin who's a year older just both got engaged and i've been with my bf longer than they have.

  • the cousin who is a year older than me who got engaged lives two blocks from me and i never see her.  but the couple of times i did call her to go out (she has a chronic illness), she never called me back, but no one knows that and i just look like the bad one for not hanging out with her and being supportive. 

  • i don't want to answer the "when are you going to get married?" question.  it's a tacky question, yet it always seems to be asked, and in front of my SO most of the time (even worse)

  • in my family young ladies are not supposed to have more than a glass of wine, but the men can get sloshed.  so my mom and i pretty much have to hide the number of glasses of wine that we have and i just don't want to.  it's vacation! 

anyone else feel this way about the impending holidays? 



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luckylily


Gucci

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Oh, I feel for you.  I think it is great that you and your SO will finally get to spend Christmas together, and you'll have a fab time in SF.  I've always spent the holidays only with my immediate family, so I don't have that judgemental stuff that you do, but I'm kind of dreading the holidays this year.


When my DH and I got married 5 years ago, we decided that we wanted Christmas day to be a day that we spend just the two of us.  My parents only live 3 hours away, but they understood that it was important to us to start our own traditions.  Plus, the drive to their house is over a snowy mountain pass and we usually both have to work both Chrismas Eve and the day after Christmas, so it really isn't worth it to drive over for one day.  We usually celebrate with them the weekend before Christmas, and that has worked out really well.


DH's parents recently moved closer.  They used to be in Ontario and they moved to British Columbia, so now they are a two hour drive rather than a 5 hour plane ride.  MIL is all giddy with excitement about us visiting for Christmas.  DH has explained at least four times that we could go up there either a few weekends before Christmas or for New Years, but she just isn't getting it.  Despite the fact that we've been crystal clear about our plans, I think she is going to act really hurt when it sinks in.  I know she's going to cry and try to make him feel guilty about it.  I'm going to stand firm on this one tho, I don't want to set the precedent that we will travel on Christmas day.



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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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Oh, I feel for you too. This is my first holiday season where it's serious enough with a boyfriend that we really want to spend the holidays together. D and I have been together for almost two years (our first date was right before Christmas) and decided to at least spend Thanksgiving with each other this year. Christmas I'm not sure about yet. He'll be coming home with me for the turkey worship, which I am very excited about, both because it's the most fun holiday in my family, and I'm sick of people asking me when he's going to come.

My whole extended family on my dad's side always gets together, and some of my relatives have this egotistical idea that our family is just *so* fun and *so* awesome that anyone in their right mind would want to be with us. I'm not sure how it started, but a lot of them think so and say so. For example, one of my cousins got married three years ago and still complains about spending Christmas with her in-laws, who are not bad people. A complaint she had was they they like to drink beer and play cards, as if that was beneath her. One of her sisters said to me very seriously once that the new husband lucked out because now he was related to us, but poor older sister now had to spend time with his family. Anyway, people make a big deal out of the holiday and I've never brought anyone home for it, so it wil be nice to do that. More importantly, I don't like being away from my BF!

Of course, the marriage question will come up, as it first started to last year. I do think we'll get married -- we first started talking about it exactly a year ago, and he's dropped a few hints about it lately -- but why can't people stop asking such intensely personal questions?

As for Christmas, my brother and his family are planning to go to Japan (where my SIL is from), so either I go home to see my parents or they come here. I don't know if D would want to spend both holidays with my family, and I also don't want to pressure him to do that. I also don't want us to spend Christmas with my parents and his parents together just yet. This stuff is complicated!

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