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asf · Kate Spade

another wedding etiquette question

Elle · Hermes

I don't think you're under any obligation to give a shower gift if you didn't attend the shower. If you'd like to include a bit more money than you normally would in their wedding gift because it's a good friend, I'm sure it would be appreciated, but it's definitely not required. Just do what you feel comfortable with, in this situation.

valenciana · Dooney & Bourke

you are in no way obligated to give a gift for the shower, or give extra to make up for not attending/giving a gift at the shower. at least in my understanding...the mere invitation to the wedding obligates you to a gift, whether you go or not; the invitation to the shower does not - you go to the shower, you bring a gift...you don't go to the shower, you are not obligated to give a gift.

but...you did say that this is a good friend's wedding...so you should do what you feel like. etiquette is fine and all, but it will certainly never tell you NOT to give a gift (just when you aren't "required" to do so). but it is definitely not necessary to give two separate gifts like, 'this is for the shower, this is for the wedding'...you can feel free to give a little extra if you want to, but no one's gonna be like, "where's the separate belated shower gift???"

i hope that makes sense and is helpful!

asf · Kate Spade

thanks girls. that's what i figured but i didn't know if there were any "rules" about this sort of thing.