STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

atlgirl · Gucci

Am I Being Too Sensitive?

NCshopper · Hermes

I don't think you're being too sensitive. That sounds like a blatant jab to me.

Part of me wants to say, "well, at least she sent a card," but really, who needs a card if it's going to be rude? Part of me thinks you should call her out on it and ask what it's supposed to mean, but then I wonder if maybe she wrote that to try and get a reaction out of you. Does she do that kind of thing often?

I don't know. I know that if it were me, I'd be upset by it.

ETA: Happy belated birthday! I want to hear about your trip sometime too!

-- Edited by NCshopper at 12:16, 2006-09-04

luckylily · Gucci

I don't think you are being too sensitive at all. I would be really hurt by that too. I mean, it's your birthday, things should be kept positive, IMO.

If it were me, I'd probably let it go tho. Based on what you've said here, I'd imagine that you and your Mom have already gone at it over her lack of emotional support. At this point, you probably can't change her.

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

You are not being too sensitive AT ALL. What kind of thing is that to say to your child? Why couldn't she have just left it at "you've always been a special, precious gift, and we wouldn't change a thing about you," which is a lovely thing to say, and not put in something so mean?

Sorry, this probably isn't helping. But no, you are not being too sensitive.

small fry · Chanel

I just wanted to chime in and first wish you a Happy belated B-day

Iam not sure what to say but one thing is for sure you are not being to sensitive. I would be hurt as well. I agree with lucklylily that she most likley is not willing to change. So try and not let her get you down. Just remember that you have alot of ladies here that think you are special and very beautiful

((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

Ouch. No, you're not being too sensitive. That is a crappy thing to say. I'm also guessing that you and your mom have probably gone over this stuff before, but if it is really bugging you and you think it's worth talking about it, I think you have the right to say something.

atlgirl · Gucci

Thanks, ladies. DH and I have been rather vehemently not seeing eye to eye on my "hurt feelings" in recent days, and I just wondered if I *am* too sensitive, because he sure seems to think so lately. It's good to at least know I'm not alone in how I felt when I read that.

I am not going to talk to my mother about it at all. We have actually never discussed my "issues" with how my family (most specifically, my mom) is. I've - mostly - come to terms with it, on my own and through counseling, and I think it would only hurt her, to know how much she hurts (or has hurt) me. And I don't want to hurt her for no good reason. I just try to do what she's always told me to in the past - "suck it up and deal with it".

Thanks for the birthday wishes too!

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Um, no, you're not being too sensitive. My mom loved to pull crap on my birthday too - I don't know what that is. So I know how this one feels and I'm really sorry sweetie! Fwiw, I don't think you have to say, "You were wrong to do that..." in order to have a meaningful conversation with your mom about this. When I still talked to my mom, I got a lot of satisfaction from just looking at her and asking, "Now WHY did you do that?" Not in a mean way, just in a "I really want to hear your story here because I have no idea..." The last birthday we were still talking, she actually answered, "No one ever cared about my birthday so why should I care about yours..." Which helped me realize that it really had nothing to do with me, and it clarified things in my head a lot, in terms of what I could expect from her and how much I was willing to put up with.

Anyway, it sounds like you're being really strong about the whole thing and I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. {{{{{ HUGS}}}}}

-- Edited by Dizzy at 15:52, 2006-09-04

KE · Kenneth Cole

OMG-I think it was horrible-It just stung me when I read it-I thought "What???" I would never even think such a thing about my daughter!! Happy Birthday BTW-I hope you have a lot a loving support from others in your life.

ViViDogWear · Kate Spade

Happy Belated Birthday! IMO you were not being too sensitive - but also understand where the DH is coming from. I'd suck this one up to they'll never change. sorry you were hurt - i totally can relate to the insensitive parent issue.

kittenheels · Coach

Happy belated birthday. I am sorry to hear that your mother wrote that comment. I think almost everyone would be hurt by such a thing! It sounds like you have learned to deal with her to the best of your ability. Don't let it get you down!

cc · Marc Jacobs

OK I'll be the one weirdo to say that I actually don't think that sounds mean- I could see myself writing something like this in a card to my parents as a "I sometimes take you for granted" kind of statement - but I also don't come from a background where people are obviously considering family members to be "precious gifts" on a regular basis and we rarely write heartfelt or sentimental things in cards so I would either not give the note a second thought or would maybe think it was sweet that someone bothered to write something other than "Dear cc, Happy Birthday, Love Mom and Dad." And I always take "you're different but we love you anyway" to be a compliment.

BUT you obviously know your mother and how to interpret what she says. There are obviously some things churning below the surface in this relationship and that's why you are taking this to heart. I'm still recovering from an argument that I had with my mom last week so I think you are right to not want to pick a fight over this. I hope you were able to enjoy your birthday anyway!

-- Edited by cc at 23:07, 2006-09-04