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Post Info TOPIC: Crushes


Gucci

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Crushes
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Do you ever get crushes on other guys? Even though you're in a really awesome relationship, are you ever attracted to someone else?


I met this guy. Actually he's my bf's friend () and I have such a serious crush on him. And whenever we are around him, which is a lot, I just feel totally attracted to him. Nothing would ever happen between us and I still love my bf sooo much, but around him, I feel like a silly 13 year old girl. I can't help feeling super excited when he calls or messages me, its so bad. And since we are becoming really good friends and we have a lot in common (more so than he and the bf do) we talk almost every day and its fuelling my stupid silly crush like mad. I was actually jealous the other day when he told me he had a date.


This is crazy, right? I need to stop myself from acting like a teenage girl. I sometimes check out cute guys (that's normal) but I haven't had such a powerful crush since I met the bf years ago. Have I totally gone off my rocker?


Help me...before I crush again!!!



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Marc Jacobs

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I don't know, hon, this sounds a little sticky. I would cool it with him, the sooner the better. From what you said it sounds like it has the potential to become a real problem.

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Marc Jacobs

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Yeah, I agree that it may be time to cool it.

I think to an extent crushes are normal and inevitable. Just because you're in a relationship it doesn't blind you to the opposite sex, so don't beat yourself up over this. But if we are in a good relationship, we know enough to realize that what we have is special and that the crush will just burn out on its own. I mean, I know that what I have with my BF is special, and in the almost 2 years we've been dating I've twice met a guy who I thought "if I was single I might have been interested in this person." And both times that feeling subsided and I was so glad I was with my BF and not with either of those people, you know?

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Kate Spade

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I don't know how serious you and your boyfriend are but if you are serious I agree to stop.  Even if you don't think he does, your BF "sees" how you are around the friend or when you hear from the friend.  It will become a major issue that you will regret. If you look forward to his calls and messaged they probably need to stop.  If your crush feelings are getting in the way of just having a normal friendship then it doesn't sound too good.  


Now, on the other side of the coin: (These are just for thought not to answer)Do you see yourself having a serious relationship with this friend? Do you think you could like him more than your BF? Are you wishing you weren't with your BF? Who are you valueing your time with more? Do you find yourself hoping that he is around?  Looking forward to seeing him? Perhaps even more than your BF? Does your BF know how often you and the friend talk and hang out?  Or do you keep some information to yourself? 


I think that if you are seiously thinking about this boy (more than crush) then you have some serious thinking to do before your BF gets hurt.  No one deserves to be betrayed. If you honestly have a serious connection with this friend do you think that anything can come of it since he and the BF are friends? 


Tough one. You have to do what is best for you but also be empahetic to your BF because he hasn't done anything wrong and doesn't deserve to be hurt.  Good Luck!



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Marc Jacobs

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I should clarify: I didn't mean it to sound like I thought you were on the verge of cheating on your BF, cause I know you said you would never do that. But it sounds like you are heading towards the point where you wish you COULD act on your feelings, or you want to act on your feelings but restrain yourself because it's wrong, and I think all three of you will be happier and more comfortable if your feelings never even get to that point. Do you know what I mean? This is just my personal feeling, but it would make me really uncomfortable if my BF became really good friends with one of my girlfriends.

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