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Post Info TOPIC: Did I mention how great ya'll are lately?
laken1


Hermes

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Did I mention how great ya'll are lately?
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I am a member of a few yahoo groups & I got in a pissing match on one of them. I have been kicked for not following the rules & being too controversial.....

Basically the moderator herself posted a pretty tasteless joke about mamograms & I guess I am a little sensitive to that here lately....I was going to let it go but one member chimed in that she thought it was in poor taste & was in chemo having undergone breast surgery recently....The moderator responded that she was sorry she has cancer, but "you have to be able to laugh about it" oh, and btw, when you have issues with something posted you should take it to the moderator directly, not post it on the list. Some other ladies posted that they agreed with the mod, the joke was just a joke, no biggie. I just lost it. The only thing that I posted was that I didn't think it was fair that those that agree with the post can do so on the list but if we don't, as I didn't, we had to do so off list. That was IT! so she put me on moderation. I mean seriously? So today she emailed me privately to "clarify the rules" and to let me know that she was there if I had more to say. Which to me said for me to tell her if I still had issues. I let her know that I didn't think the joke was funny but was going to let it go until she responded so insensitively! She email me back that I didn't know her & if that's how I felt I didn't have to be a part of the group.

Good ridance. I just thought a group of women could discuss 2 sides of an issue without it getting ugly. We do it here all of the time. I guess I'm just spoiled to you ladies!

If I'm wrong, please let me know. I have been shaking my head all day trying to figure out if I've blown this out of proportion!


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Cricket


Gucci

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Posts: 2766
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I agree with you, good riddance!  I wouldn't go back there at all. 



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Mandy


Kate Spade

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thats ridiculous!!  so basically if you disagree with the moderator you are kicked off??  thats silly.  i wouldn't want to participate there. 

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NCshopper


Hermes

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Posts: 6065
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WTF?!?!?! 


Getting kicked off because you don't agree with the moderator is pretty ridiculous.  But to me, that seems like the lesser fouls of what went on.  I can't believe that someone said that if you have cancer, you need to be able to laugh about it!  I mean, I understand that a sense of humor can help get people through tough times, but it's really insensitive to think that everyone should just be able to laugh if off.  Health issues are f*cking scary and just to think that she should be able to take a joke about it is absurd.  I'm getting fired up here just thinking about it!  Good grief. 



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ihavetohaveit.blogspot.com
D


Hermes

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Posts: 8209
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yeah, cancer is a sensitive thing... it's ok if I'm the one joking, but if someone comes out of the blue and cracks a joke (in a way trivializing it), I've been known not to laugh.


the moderator sounds like an insensitive dolt. I would much rather be in an environment rich in varying and conflicting opinions than a tyranny.  some people get off on the control... 



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"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
lilyann


Dooney & Bourke

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Posts: 643
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Yes, I found this forum over a year ago... after first trying one that held such a negative and critical atmosphere that it left me feeling sick to my stomach. I have stayed... this forum was just what I was looking for.  When I first became interested in a fashion forum, I tried Lucky- the majority of posters were just like this one. But, a few ruined it by their hateful and mean-spirited comments. As well as these crazy, ranting anonymous posts that would pop up because there were no controls on who posted. Weird! To have a successful, and productive forum, you do need a moderator that will step in when things are starting to get out of line- ( but, a moderator should do just that- and the joke that the moderator posted was of such poor and insensitive taste that she clearly was not using moderation).  I am so sorry you experienced such negativity on this other forum. It is unbelievable to me that you would be kicked off a forum, ridiculous!! You have every right to express your mature opinion and views to others, and recieve a response that is also mature-whether it is agreeable to others, or not. Not every one will always agree with you, you will not always agree with every one else- hopefully this is something we learn early-unfortunately, this is not always so. I come to this forum, almost daily- for an enjoyable diversion from my day, to share with others the things that I am intrested in, concerned about, to feel connected to other women that share the same experience that I do- or to see the other side of others who experience it differently. Sometimes, I have held beliefs that were on shaky ground- and a few of you have changed my view- the way I looked at something. But, this is the result of never feeling that you truely know everything.



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