STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

dumdum · Nine West

need advice on how to fix

dumdum · Nine West

ps--feel free to be brutal, i can take it. i've been brutalizing myself for the last 24 hours.

FashionPrincess · Hermes

Hehe, that is quite a pickle! I would call cute boy and apologize and tell him that is not typical of you (I'm assuming that it isn't

). He may also be embarrassed about how wasted he was too. Good luck!

HeatherLynn · Gucci

Okay, first off breathe... We have all been there (or at least a great portion of us have been). Most people will chalk it up to a silly drunken night and never mention it again. Also a lot of people probably didn't even notice. I say pretend it didn't happen next time you see everyone. If they say something just laugh at yourself. Good luck and don't worry about it. Honestly, you didn't do anything wrong- you made at with two boys, you aren't attached, and you don't owe either of them anything. I know you think you could have something with cute boy and you could in the future. Try not to worry about it too much. Good luck!

erin · Chanel

dumdum wrote:

i'm also kind of annoyed with him for what happened--not that i blame him because obviously it takes two, but i was clearly not in a state where i was coherent, and a real friend i think would have left me alone.

i really agree with that and think it's totally effed that your friend (imo) took advantage of you.

how does cute boy know you made out with A? he didn't see it, right? maybe i missed where he found out (it's late and i am tired)...but i would personally brush off what may or may not have happened with A and try to see what's up with cute boy...

poptart · Coach

FashionPrincess wrote:

Hehe, that is quite a pickle! I would call cute boy and apologize and tell him that is not typical of you (I'm assuming that it isn't ). He may also be embarrassed about how wasted he was too. Good luck!

ITA. I know a lot of people would brush it off and move on, and you totally could, but I think just apologizing would make you feel better and would show that you have class. Which you do. Seriously. This was just one little incident! Don't beat yourself up too much.

Mandy · Kate Spade

I agree with HeatherLynn, I wouldn't apologize or say anything unless someone mentions it. If it comes up I would just laugh it off. I wouldn't make it a bigger deal than it is. I think most of us have had nights like this and understand completely. If other people were as drunk as you, they are probably feeling silly about things they did too. The only reason I would apologize is if you just want an excuse to call cute boy, even then I might come up with another reason to call.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I'm with HeatherLynn, hell NO I wouldn't apologize. It will only make it seem like you did something wrong. And ironically apologizing usually makes people think a little worse of you. You have nothing to apologize for. Sure some people might be all bent out of shape about it - boring, nosy, women-should-never-act-like-they-have-SEX people. But if I were at a wedding and saw a stranger do the same thing, I would assume only that 1) You're single 2) You're an adult and 3) It's none of my business. (I would, however, not let you go home with a guy if you were that intoxicated. So I kind of wonder if these friends are really a good bet for drinking buddies. You need people who have your back, you know?)

As for the cute boy, yeah, I do think that it's not going to happen. At least not until he gets to know you in a more normal setting. In order to do that, you have to dial it back to just-friends immediately. Just make a joke about it and move on from there.

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

HeatherLynn wrote:

Okay, first off breathe... We have all been there (or at least a great portion of us have been). Most people will chalk it up to a silly drunken night and never mention it again. Also a lot of people probably didn't even notice. I say pretend it didn't happen next time you see everyone. If they say something just laugh at yourself. Good luck and don't worry about it. Honestly, you didn't do anything wrong- you made at with two boys, you aren't attached, and you don't owe either of them anything. I know you think you could have something with cute boy and you could in the future. Try not to worry about it too much. Good luck!

I completely agree. I think that pretending like nothing happened works 99% of the time in 99% of situations. Because 99% of the time, it's a huge deal to you but at the end of the day, no one really cares and nothing really happened. Now, it would be a different story if say, you said something mean or offensive to someone at the wedding or if you hit on someone who was married/had a girlfriend. Then, there may be a reason to do some apologizing. but that's not the case here, so ease up and try not to "brutalize" yourself too much.

As for apologizing, I wouldn't because I think that's making a bigger deal of it than it needs to be. And also because...i'm actually cringing at having to type this theory out but...he has no reason to believe that is not typical behavior for you. Many guys have heard some version of "oh my god, i was so drunk last night, i'm really not like that" from a girl before. And many guys take that as a sign that she got wasted so she wouldn't have to take responsibility for her actions in the morning and "not count" what happened the night before. I'm not saying this is the case in your situation AT ALL, obviously you really regret your behavior and I believe you when you say that it wasn't typical of you. It's just that that line gets used a lot so I probably wouldn't use it and just let my future actions show how I really am. hth and good luck!

-- Edited by esquiress at 14:07, 2006-08-29

blubirde · Chanel

Is there anyway you can arrange to see the cute boy again? If so, I'd make some joke about "recovering" or never drinking again or something cute and funny like that. It would give the impression that that wedding wasn't average behavior but wouldn't go so far as to apologize and make a big deal out of it.

And don't worry about it. Stupid stuff happens all the time and it's the only reason we get saner as we get older (because we've done it all before). We've all been there and felt stupid later on. As for apologizing, I guess I agree with the other girls. At first I was going to say you could call him up and give him a quick sorry but I see the logic in what everyone else is saying and now agree with them. Just let it go but if you can find an occasion to hang out with him again, I don't think it would hurt to make a quick, funny witticism on the banes of drinking too much at weddings. (Tell him it's the subject of your next blog or something.)

dumdum · Nine West

-- Edited by dumdum at 02:17, 2006-09-05

dumdum · Nine West

-- Edited by dumdum at 02:17, 2006-09-05

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Don't call. Sorry, but I think it's not a good idea.