STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Kitty · Hermes

Female friends: why is this so hard?

kenzie · Chanel

Kitty, I'm in the same situation. I have one female friend who lives nearby. Well, actually, two- JoceyBaby lives close, but our schedules don't usually mesh, so we don't see each other too much. My other friend I see once or twice a week, sometimes more, depending on our schedules. The rest of my friends are scattered all over the place.

I'm seriously thinking about joining our local Young Professionals chapter b/c they are really active. Not only would it look good on my resume, but I'd probaby meet people, too. I've done the standard, take a class thing, but haven't really met anyone since the classes are only about four sessions.

I'm thinking of taking another class in the fall that would last a full semester. Maybe I'll meet people there (and it would be another resume builder). I also want to get back into theatre. Although, girls in theatre tend to be really, really catty, so even when I was in theatre before, I didn't have any girl friends from that b/c most of them were viscious.

Other than that, I'm not much help. But I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.

-- Edited by kenzie at 18:30, 2006-08-12

-- Edited by kenzie at 18:36, 2006-08-12

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

I can totally relate. Though most of my friends from high school and college, I feel like I don't really get along with anymore. We have just grown in different directions and as sad as it is, I don't care much (I don't really like the people that they have become). I moved to a new area after college for grad school and thus, didn't have any friends. The girls at my grad school were either older or a bit too serious for me to become real friends with. I unfortunately haven't really found any fun girls to become friends with. The girls that I want to hang out with are usually pretty flaky and I hate that. I actually met one girl at the gym who seems to be really cool, but we have yet to hang out (I got her email a few days ago). It is so totally awkward asking a girl to hang out and for her number or email address. I honestly don't know where to find friends who are girls, all I can say is that I understand and I feel for you. I get really depressed too thinking about the fact that I really don't have any friends in this city. Sorry that I am not much help.

Metric · Gucci

I'm right there with you girls too. I have some female friends but its really hard. My bff is currently focused on getting engaged/married/having a baby so our friendship is not really a priority to her anymore and I hardly ever see her. I can see my oldest friend often if I wanted to but (as some of you know since I've talked about her quite a bit) our relationship is "challenging". She always has problems and is needy and spending time with her wears me out. My other good female friends are scattered all over, anywhere from a 3 hour drive to a 7 hour plane ride to another continent. Its really a big bummer.

I've tried the whole class thing and for me it did not work. The people in my Spanish class were all middleaged and retired couples, and my yoga class was mostly men. I am really at a loss for meeting girls, I guess just don't know how to do it. And that makes me sad.

rlutz · Chanel

i feel the same way...I have never had many girlfriends, most of my friends are guys...but the older I get I relize I want to have to girlfriends to hangout with, talk, and shop with...you cannot always do that with guys...the few girlfriends that I have right now are from work or from the mother group I am in

NCshopper · Hermes

Count me in the same boat too. This is something I've struggled with for the past two years and it really sucks. When I graduated college, all my friends left NC and moved to DC or New York. The girls I work with are cool, they're my age, and they're fun, but I'm their boss and frankly, no one wants to hang out with their boss, so that's a no go.

I had some luck when I worked out at the gym regularly, but since I no longer belong to a gym, that doesn't happen. And it's weird--I feel like even if I met a cool girl, how do you initiate something so that you can hang out later? It's almost like asking a guy out or something--all those feeling of rejection and insecurity are there, you know?

I like Kenzie's idea of joining the Young Professionals. I should do that. The young alumni assoc. for my university sucks in my area, but that or a sorority alumni assoc. might work for you.

miss t · Dooney & Bourke

I'm in the same boat, too. My too closest friends from college live in other states and my friends from high school are on totally different paths in life from mine and I cannot relate to them.

I have a hard time finding female friends that share the same interests with me and who are genuine. So, I find myself only hanging out with guys, because there is no drama or pettiness involved. I'm okay with it. Frankly, since I don't have that many females friends, my life has been so drama-free. My family has this ongoing joke that when I get married I'll have mostly groomsmen instead of all bridesmaids.

poptart · Coach

It's the same for me. I really only have two close female friends, and they both live well far away (one in another state and one about eight hours away).

Kitty, if you ever want to hang out, PM me. I'm not far from you!

Kitty · Hermes

poptart wrote:

Kitty, if you ever want to hang out, PM me. I'm not far from you!

Maybe we could also plan some type of Bay Area get together? Looks like the Chicago girls had a lot of fun. I know there's at least a few of us.

zeitgeist4 · Gucci

poptart wrote:

It's the same for me. I really only have two close female friends, and they both live well far away (one in another state and one about eight hours away).

Kitty, if you ever want to hang out, PM me. I'm not far from you!

I would totally be up for a Bay Area ST gathering!

I'm in the same boat as you guys. I don't really have any girl friends. One lives in Davis so I don't see her more than every 2-3 months. I'm good friends with one of my co-workers, but due to her schedule we don't really do much outside of work.

jamund · Nine West

Kitty wrote:

There is virtually no one that I work with that is even close to my age and normal.

Key words are above. I am in the same boat. I live in a small town, and I actually don't even have family here. They are in Arkansas or Wash. D.C. Sometimes I get upset about it, but then I think back to pretty much the same thing you wrote above. "Normal" Hard to find. I think I am more independent though. I love my sister & get along w/her...but we don't talk about a lot of random stuff that the women I do know talk about. I don't want to talk about them & boyfriend issues, and I think that's a me issue...too busy, too much of a don't waste my time with nonsense. I don't really want to talk about kids, because I don't have any:) I think once I don't have as much to do, that could change. (School, work, more work, etc). Sometimes I am thankful it's just me & my BF and when I want to be alone...he's got stuff to do and I will actually be alone. Being a military brat doesn't help:) Never had a lot of friends growing up...I'd lose them in a year or two due to a transfer/move.

Sometimes it is just part of getting older, right?