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Post Info TOPIC: hey baby, what's your sign?
what's your sign? [82 vote(s)]

Capricorn (23 December-19 January)
4.9%
Aquarius (20 January-19 February)
2.4%
Pisces (20 February-20 March)
7.3%
Aries (21 March-20 April)
8.5%
Taurus (21 April-21 May)
8.5%
Gemini (22 May-22 June)
12.2%
Cancer (23 June-23 July)
8.5%
Leo (24 July-23 August)
13.4%
Virgo (24 August-23 September)
8.5%
Libra (24 September-23 October)
13.4%
Scorpio (24 October-22 November)
4.9%
Sagittarius (23 November-22 December)
7.3%


Kate Spade

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RE: hey baby, what's your sign?
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I'm a Gemini, and the description is pretty accurate.

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Hermes

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I'm an Aquarius and every description I've ever read I've thought, "Yup, that's me!" 

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Dooney & Bourke

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I am a Pisces. I am fascinated with astrology-love it!  I started reading on it about 10 years ago, purely on an entertainment level, and still find it very intresting. As a belief system, I am neutral: not convinced by it, but have found it so accurate at times it keeps me intrested. Although, I do share some of the traditional traits associated with a Pisces: creative, quiet, dreamy, prone to all the self destructive traits associated with dependency issues (Physically and emotionally)- I am also very close to my Rising sign: which is Leo. The so-called "bad traits" that a Leo can exhibit:A regal bearing that can seem snobbish to those that do not know you, eccentricity (o.k.- weirdness), at times a show off in dress( verging at times on gaudiness) and expression of ones creativity, a love and need to be the center of attention (you have a responsibilty to lead and nurture others). But, would it surprise you that  Astrology says we are not just one sign- but actually 12!  Astrology breaks us down into twelve signs to describe our inner person, our outer, our emotional self, our family, our mode of communication...etc...and then breaks it down again into houses to describe us even more. It is really complex.  Adding to the complexity are aspects corresponding with all the 12 signs, houses, and the capacity through studing our charts to predict our past, present, and future.


 Have you heard someone say, " I would never have thought you were a Pisces, Gemini...",Or whatever Sun sign you may be? It is because people know and identify more with us in the everyday world by our Rising sign-the sign that was rising at the moment of our birth. The rising sign is the outer personality (the face we don the moment we walk out our front door), and the person we project to the outside world. It is not fake, it is who we are also, just a more socialized embodiment of ourselves. Our sun sign is the "soul"- and I do not say this with religious connotation- just that this is the inner person, and who we are when all the layers are peeled away( some astrologers say, our reincarnated self).  Our Sun sign being the person we are at home, with our loved ones and close friends- we share this person with those we feel comfortable with.


If you would like to see how you break down into the twelve signs, houses, your rising sign etc... try this website: www.astro.com.



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Hermes

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I'm a Virgo, and that description almost fits me, maybe a few things I disagree with, but that's the Virgo in me! LOL


 



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Gucci

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Wow, D, that is one of the most "on the mark" descriptions of my (Virgo) that I have ever read. The perfectionist tendency is a killer to try and change; I've been striving to "relax" that part of my whole life. And really, not made much progress on it. Though I like other parts of being a Virgo. :)

Lots of Geminis and Leos, eh? Interesting!

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cat


Marc Jacobs

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I'm a Capricorn.


I fit the description of me for the most part. I would say that I am a little more of a free spirt the most capricorns though.


 



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Coach

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The rising sign is the outer personality (the face we don the moment we walk out our front door), and the person we project to the outside world. It is not fake, it is who we are also, just a more socialized embodiment of ourselves. Our sun sign is the "soul"- and I do not say this with religious connotation- just that this is the inner person, and who we are when all the layers are peeled away( some astrologers say, our reincarnated self).  Our Sun sign being the person we are at home, with our loved ones and close friends- we share this person with those we feel comfortable with.


Lilyann- Where on that site do I find the rising and sun signs?



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Dooney & Bourke

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 - Login/Logout 







www.astro.com
dedkenesfrit



Horoscope Home | Free Horoscopes | Astro Shop |  | Feedback | FAQ | My Astro


 


You will first login under new user and select a password, and then it will ask you questions regarding your birthdate, place of birth, and hour of birth. You must have hour of birth to get your rising sign. But, all other information can be processed just on your birthdate and place of birth. HTH!! Share with us what it says for you!



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Coach

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I'm a Libra and there are quite a lot of things in that description that fit. There seem to be a lot of Libras on here, too.





-- Edited by Hedvig at 19:45, 2006-08-06

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Hermes

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I know what time I was born, so I generated a horoscope through astro.com. Also, the "ascendant" is what they consider a rising sun or rising sign:


Your sun sign is Leo. This is the sign in which the Sun is in your birth chart. Your Ascendant is in Sagittarius, and your Moon is in Libra.



Sun in Leo, Moon in Libra

You were born with the Sun in Leo and the Moon in Libra. This is an excellent combination, which gives you good taste, sociability, and the ability to take on authority when necessary. Your inner psychological nature is proud, dignified, commanding, powerful, and very strong-willed. You have natural leadership and a sense of creativeness. You are generous and faithful and can be trusted. The key words to your individuality or inner life are nobility, clarity, and faithfulness. You are very vital and quick. Inwardly you often feel unappreciated, because you expect from others the same frank treatment which you give to them. You tend to do everything on a rather grand scale. Fortunately, your personality comes under the rulership of the Moon in Libra, which channels these traits and makes them more suited to real life. Others view you essentially as an easy-going person who desires company and who knows how to create a pleasant atmosphere. In love you are very charming and successful but somewhat unstable. You have within you the power and the ability to make the Libran qualities more profound and to soften your innate rougher traits. The result will be a better-integrated being.


nach oben

Ascendant in Sagittarius, Jupiter in the Seventh House

At the time of your birth the zodiacal sign of Sagittarius was ascending in the horizon. Its ruler Jupiter is located in the seventh house.

Sagittarius rising denotes lives which are very dualistic; situations come and go as if divided into two sides - success and failure.

If you are able to raise the interests of your mind from common and trivial things to more profound subjects, your intellect will become very philosophical and attracted by law and peace, and it will be more intuitive than rational. In any case your life will be colored by impulsive and rather stubborn tendencies on your part, creating some inclination to go to extremes,

During the course of your existence you must try to develop intuition and human understanding so that you may be in a position to assist other people with your advice.

Sagittarius gives you a rather strong love of nature and makes you somewhat extroverted, demonstrative and passionate, falling in love frequently and without reservations. You are an intellectual, an intelligent person who has been fortunate enough to be granted also a good development of the emotional functions.

Your romantic life will be intense and varied. Your object of love may find you difficult to understand. In one aspect you will appear as passionate and energetic but because of the mutability of the sign you will also have an opposite tendency that will lead you away from involvement in the love affair and the latter impulse will be caused by a more inner trait, which is personal freedom.

Generally speaking, the sign of Sagittarius will incline you to exist in environments in which your physical body, emotions and thoughts are allowed total freedom for development. On a higher intellectual level you may find yourself inclined to dwell in the deep complexities of philosophy, metaphysics, religion and law. You are versatile enough to study more than one discipline simultaneously not forgetting to keep your body in physical movement, since you require both intellectual and physical exercise.

Most of your life you will be occupied in external matters and this may be a hint of your psychological extroversion. In marriage and other intimate relationships you are very fortunate. Jupiter here gives the propensity to have an excellent and faithful partner. There are also possibilities of financial success through marriage or commitment to a partner.


nach oben

Saturn in the Third House

Saturn appeared in the third house at the time of your birth. This planet brings an aura of objectivity and contriving to all mental functions; the general attitude is reserved, serious, and lacking in dynamism, warmth and flexibility. You are a thinker and a slow, but determined planner.

The struggle to realize your life plans might be difficult, and you will receive little assistance from persons close to you.

You tend to worry needlessly or give excessive attention to plans which will yield very little in relation to the effort invested. We advise you to plan things carefully and realistically without overdoing it.

Saturn here represents duties that you must comply with and which are of an intellectual nature. It also points to tests of character occurring at critical points of human relationship, which can only be successfully "passed" by developing an altruistic and compassionate nature that will make pardon and forgiveness feasible.


nach oben

Sun in the Eighth House

The Sun was found in your eighth house at the time of birth. This inclines your individuality to be oriented, in one way or another, to the deeper sides of life. Your sexual feelings are long-lasting, intense, and vital. Your inner self seems attracted to unusual matters related to the termination of life-death and its mysteries.

Traditional astrology indicates that near your middle age a crisis will rear its head in your life. If this period is successfully spanned you can expect a prolonged life with a gradual heightening vitality.

Financially, there are definite chances for money inherited from either your partner or from another relative.


nach oben

Venus in the Ninth House

Venus was found in the ninth house at the time of birth. Your mind appears as very adaptable, gentle, peace-loving and tactful. This position indicates that the secret for your ability to reach a state of harmony and emotional balance may come through the use of your higher mental powers. You have been born with an exquisitely refined, artistic mind which has a very subtle appreciation of all that has to do with culture. Your disposition is kind, congenial, gentle and sympathetic and you have a natural ability to assist other individuals.

This position gives you much social intercourse with intellectual persons and success derived therefrom.

Merely minor disabilities will affect you in your intellectual endeavors. The worst that could happen would be an overly inquisitive, indecisive nature that never seems to be satisfied. However, you have within you the ability to avoid these psychological obstacles.


nach oben

Moon in the Tenth House

The Moon was found in the tenth house at the time of birth. Among other things, this is an indication of your ability to adjust to varying conditions. Whatever your temperamental qualities may be, destiny will place you in situations where you will have dealings with the public.

Some public note could eventually come your way. Yet you should remember that the Moon successes are rather ethereal and do not maintain a permanent state.

Imagination, a tenacious disposition and ability to relate to the public are among your attributes. Outwardly, you will appear as one who reacts to emotions rather than to reason, yet you attempt a logical rationalization of your impulsive notions. You will better develop your potentialities in any professional circle where your natural inclinations can be reasonably manifested.



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Gucci

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I am a Virgo with Virgo rising. There's no escape!! DH says it explains *so much* about me. :/

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Dooney & Bourke

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I am a Virgo with Virgo rising. There's no escape!! DH says it explains *so much* about me. :/

That is quite the double whammy- please be easy on yourself and everyone around you.

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Coach

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Virgo and I kind of fit the description, but not enough to make me a believer.

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Chanel

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halleybird wrote:



Sagittarius. I am pretty close to the description you posted and other descriptions of Sags, but I am NOT outdoorsy at all, which some descriptions point out.





Definitely me, too. I'm a Sagittarius but I would rather hole up and watch MTV reruns for a whole weekend than go camping.


I'm doomed to be a hothead though because my chart is filled with Aries and Leos. I'm a fire sign, through and through although like a true Sag, it takes me quite a while to get mad. But once I do - look out!



-- Edited by blubirde at 14:20, 2006-08-08

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Chanel

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I have a book I look at at work when someone really bugs me - Born on a Rotten Day: Illuminating and Coping with the Dark Side of the Zodiac. I'll give y'all the short version on each sign.


Aries: Selfish, bossy


Aries, first sign of the zodiac, resides in the House of Self. Astrology textbooks describe the Ram as a charming, enthusiastic, natural-born leader who gleefully rushes through life with tremendous joie de vivre. The truth is, this bossy, egotistical motormouth is as self-absorbed as a two-year-old, and has a me-complex the size of Texas.


In Aries, Mars gives courage, determination, energy, passion, and ambition. He also bestows temperament, ego, and impulsive action. Just like Yosemite Sam, the typical Ram barrels through life daring anyone to cross his or her path. Be unlucky enough to get in the way, and you'll suffer a red-faced temper tantrum. Jumping up and down is optional. The worst thing you can do to an Aries is ignore them, the way you would ignore a cranky toddler who's in dire need of a nap.


Aries are reactive, not reasonable. By refusing to think before they act, Rams often ruin their chances for happiness by making wild assumptions without gathering all the facts. Being born without the humility gene has negated their ability to admit mistakes. Argue with one, and you'll suffer a barrage of irrational, angry shouting. Prove they are wrong, and they will react like that toddler who says, "Am not," then shrugs his baby shoulders and walks away.


"Arrogant. Pompous. Vain. Cruel. Verbose. Show-off. I've been called all of these. Of course, I am." - Haoward Cosell


"I've been uncompromising, peppery, intractable, monomaniacal, tactless, volatile, and oft times disagreeable."  - Bette Davis


 


Taurus: Hardheaded, stubborn


Taurus, the second sign of the zodiac, resides in the House of Money and Possessions. Traditional astrology kindly describes this Fixed-Earth sign as a steadfast, discriminating, thrifty homebody who is a great cook. Your real-life version more closely resembles a stubborn, judgmental, boring miser with a weight problem.


Mention Taurus, and most people conjure up a mental image of Sagittarius Munroe Leaf's Ferdinand the Bull, peacefully chewing sweet grass and batting his big, bovine eyes in placid contentment. Lean across the fence and he'll let you scratch behind his ears. Climb over that fence and attempt to pick a few of the daisies growing in his pasture, and you'll soon discover the dark side of tranquillity - Raging Bull. With practice, you can spot an imminent charge. His or her face darkens visibly as the temper rises. The eyes veil, the jaw juts or sets, ever so slightly. Some unconsciously lower the head a bit and look up at you as a real bull does before it charges. Depending on how self-controlled yours is, you have from one second to a few minutes to brace yourself.


Venus rules Taurus and here, this ancient bad girl bestows an insatiable appetite. Bulls can never get enough approval, possessions, food, rest, or sex.


Bullls are emotional, not intellectual. Relying on instinct rather than fact, they often fall victim to their own judgmental natures. Being born without the seeing-another-person's-point-of-view gene has voided all reason and logic. Arguing your case will only enrage them and craze you. Prove your point, and Taurus will simply blink those big, soulful eyes and look at you as if you were speaking a foreign langauge.


"The great question - which I have not been able to answer - is 'What does a woman want?'" - Sigmund Freud


"The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing, then marry him." - Cher


 


Gemini: Flighty, inconsistent


Gemini, the third sign of the zodiac, lives in the House of Communication and Short Trips. Conventional astrology says that Twins are energetic, versatile charmers and intelligent, multitasking, social butterflies. Truth is, being with a Gemini is like being a permanent guest at the Mad Hatter's tea party.


A critical rules is not to confuse Gemini duality with the dual nature of Pisces. Fish swim against one another, which makes Pisces its own worst enemy. Gemini Twins always stand side by side, egging each other on, giving you all kinds of crap. They are crafty versus intellectual, fast-talking con artists versus true philosophers. A Twin's idea of success is to be on the A-list of every big shot in town. They love to stand around at cocktail parties and play the Name Dropping Game. Telling one that you know Paul McCarney's hair stylist will ensure you a place at his or her side during dinner.


Gemini is headstrong, not independent. They skim through life. Twins demand freedom, but it's the freedom of a teenager. They are too busy rebelling to listen to any other point of view. Being born without the objective-asseessment gene has voided the ability to see any other opinion but theirs as valid. Argue with one, and suffer an interrogation that could make a trained spy crumble. Win your case, and Gemini will say, "That's just what I was trying to tell you."


"I wouldn't be caught dead marrying a woman old enough to be my wife." - Tony Curtis


"Well-behaved women rarely make history." - Marilyn Monroe


 


Cancer: Moody, bossy


Cancer, the fourth sign of the zodiac, lives in House of Home. Feel-good astrology promotes Cancer as private, nurturing and deeply committed to family and friends. Truth is Crabs are oblique, manipulating, and should be commited by their families and friends.


All Water signs are sensitive, but Cancer wallows in emotional turmoil. The Moon rules Cancer, and pulls on the emotional structure of the Crab in the same manner as it causes the tides to rise and fall, but speeds up the process. Their moods change hourly. Crabs can laugh, sob, sulk, joke, retreat, attack, and complain all within a twenty-four-hour period. Remember that when you feel the need to rescue one. You could go to bed with Betty Crocker and wake up with Lizzie Borden.


Most are pathologically shy in public. Occasionally, you'll find one in the closet at home, hugging a box of emergency junk food rations, reading an eathquake preparedness manual. They are jumpy. Sudden movements panic them and most are afraid of crickets, frogs, grasshoppers, and the Easter Bunny. They have been known to run themselves to exhaustion trying to flee their own shadows.


Cancers are touchy, not logical. By taking offense at the first sign of disagreement, they walk through life with an everyone's-out-to-get-me attitude. Being born without the rantional-thinking gene clouds their ability to look at themselves objectively. Argue with one, and she will scuttle under the nearest rock to avoid conflict. But, be warned: they are not defeated, just plotting their next maneuver. Let down your guard, and you may lose a toe.


"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson


"I understand my people better than anyone. I study them all the time and even conduct experiments." - Imelda Marcos


 


Leo: Selfish, stubborn


Leo the Lion is the fifth sign of the zodiac and lives in the House of Creativity and Sex. Any astrology book will tell you that Leos are proud, self-assured, exuberant fun lovers who are loyal, generous, and elegant. A Leo astrologer wrote those books. Truth is, Lions are attention-grabbing, overbearing egomaniacs whose childish, self-centered behavior is exceeded only by their obnoxious attempts to boss around everyone else.


The sun rules Leo, and just as it is the center of our Universe, the Lion considers him- or herself the center of yours. They expect outright worship, but will settle for reverent deference to their place as Supreme Ruler. Leos are either loud, brash, and pushy or quiet, dignified, and crafty. Don't mistake quiet for shy. There are no shy Lions.


Leos are theatrical, not practical. Their constant need for attention often negates their playful, happy natures. And when they lose contact with that part of themselves, they become selfish tyrants roaring through life creating misery. Being born with the instant-graitfiaction gene overshadows any ability to understand the value of nurturing an idea or a relationship. Argue with one, and they'll roar with indignant fury. Win your argument, and the Lion will silently stare at you, then retreat into the shadows to plan its next attack.


"I make it up all different every time I'm asked." - Andy Warhol


"Just put on your resume that you worked for Martha Stewart. That's more valuable than all the overtime I could pay you." - Marth Stewart


 


Virgo: Hardheaded, inconsistent


Virgo, the sixth house of the zodiac, lives in the House of Service and Health. Tactful astrology depicts Virgo as a modest, practical peach of a person who is superbly logical, discriminating, and meticulous. A more accurate description might reveal an anal, subjective, self-absorbed fussbudget who is critical, sanctimonious, and cheap.


Virgo is ruled by Mercury, the same breezy character that rules pesky Gemini. However, in  Virgo, Mercury's mischievious, lighthearted nature is trapped in Earth, where it becomes critical and irritable. Virgos would like to be as unstructured as cousin Gemini, but their feet are stuck firmly in the goround. Virgins sweat the small stuff. These folks are compelled to heal the sick, save the sinful, and correct everone else's spelling. They dispense unsolicited advice with all the authority of a second-grade teacher, with about as much insight.


Virgo's are deliberate, not spontaneous. They are so busy trying to perfect everyone else that they have lost sight of their own flawed natures. Of all the signs, Virgo is the lesast likely to admit a mistake. Born with the nothings-ever-good-enough gene has made them unable to relax and enjoy life's surprises. Bring your lunch, and dinner, if you dare to argue with one, because they will never admit they are wrong. Prove a Virgin wrong and he, or she, will say, "Oh, I didn't realize that. Well, that changes the whole perspective... now if you had only explained that to me at the beginning."


"I'm not afraid to let people know that I'm kind of an idiot." - Terry Bradshaw


"I don't like to think of myself as neurotic, but I do like things clean!" - Barbara Eden


 


Libra: flighty, bossy


Libra's symbol, the Scales, represents life's continual balancing act. Libra lives in the Seventh House of Partnerships. Sugar-coated astrology tells us that Libras are harmonious, impartial, diplomatic peacemakers who seek truth, beauty, and the perfect mate. Truth is, beneath that cloying smile lives a self-indulgent, indecisive gold digger who has the personality of a leaf.


Libra is ruled by the bad-girl goddess, Venus. In Taurus, Venus bestows a greedy nature that craves possessions. In Libra, she bestows an endless hunger for perfection. Libras are never satisfied, with either themselves or you. Being one of the bossy Cardinal signs, Libras view dissent as a personal affront. They pout if you change the radio station. Libra's idea of peace and harmony is your total agreement with their philosophy of the moment.


Have some fun by telling yours that his or her horoscope disagrees with the fortune cookie they just read to you. That should send either gender straight for the aspirin and a cold washcloth.


Libras are subjective, not judicious. Their skewed sense of justice distorts their ability to accept any argument or opinion other than their own. Being born without the justice-is-blind gene has rendered them unable to remain truly impartial. Argue with one, and suffer a sudden explosion of rage. Prove your point, and vacillating Libra may verbally agree. Silently, he or she will never forgive you for being right.


"I can resist anything... except temptation." - Oscar Wilde


"Everyone should have enough money to get plastic surgery." - Beverly Johnson


 


Scorpio: Moody, stubborn


Scorpio, the eighth sign of the zodiac, lives in the House of Death, Sex, and Other People's Possessions. Conventioanl astrology describes Scorpio as an intense, mysterious, sensual creature blessed with the gift of regeneration, like Phoenix rising from its ashes. Make that Dracula rising from the coffin. Rotten Scorpios are obsessed, stealthy, corporal control freaks who replenish their egos at everyone else's expense.


Scorpio has two ruling planets. Mars, the god of conflict and aggression, bestows a primed, suspicious character. That friendly surface is separated from a boiling miasma of emotion by only a couple of layers of very thin skin. Pluto, the god of extremes, instills an unmatched instinct for survival. Wooden stakes, holy water, or a stretch in the pen - nothing can harm Scorpio but Scorpio itself.


Scorpio's favortie game is Kangaroo Court. They sbuscribe to the Salem witch trial version of justice. Die and you're innocent. Live and you're guilty. Fee free to ignore yours as you would a petulant teenager. He or she will bite his or her own foot awhile, then curl up in the nearest dark corner and go to sleep.


Scorpios are extremee, not rational. They view life as either black or white and rarely compromise. Being born with the all-or-nothing gene has voided their ability to form lasting relationships with anyone who refuses to submit to their control. Argue with one, and suffer a verbal beating that makes you wish they had slugged you instead. Prove your point, and they will give themselves an ulcer trying to get even.


"If only I had a little humility, I would be perfect." - Ted Turner


"I'm tired of all these wussy guys, wringing their hands." - Hillary Rodham Clinton


 


Sagittarius: Selfish, inconsistent


Sagittarius lives in the Ninth House of Philosophy, Adventure, and Long-Distance Travel. In astrological myth, this Mutable Fire sign is described as a gregarious, honest fun-lover who was born with a philosophical outlook and a yen to wander. The rotten truth is this tactless, vociferous bore galumphs through the world with one foot caught in a bucket and the other lodged firmly between his, or her, overdeveloped jaws.


Jupiter, supreme god of the Universe, rules Sagittarius, and here this over-the-top jolly joker bestows a restless nature and extravagant personality. Both sexes think they know everything and spend their time trying to educate the rest of us.


They don't do subtle. Archers have outrageous horse laughs, louder than the din of Times Square on New Year's Eve, and a court-jester smile. Prod beneath that slapstick grin and you'll release a ton of repressed fury. All of that suppressed rage is why Sagittarius makes the world's best serial killer. Like one of Jupiter's thunderbolts, an Archer's anger is both unpredictable and finished as soon as it cracks through the air to deafen you. Luckily, your average Sadge blows his, or her, top infrequently and, instead of physical violence, prefers to put a fist through the door and shout vile epithets about your family heritage.


Archers are passionate, not stable. By chasing whatever attracts them at the moment, they often fall victim to their own penchant for vicarious thrills. Being born with the greener-pastures gene has skewed their perspective of long-term stability versus short-term sensation. Argue, and you'll suffer a lecture that will make your ears bleed. Try to prove your point, and you'll be left talking to yourself because your Centaur will have already jumped the nearest fence in search of fresh clover.


"My divroce came as a complete surprise to me. That will happen when you haven't been home in eighteen years." - Lee Trevino


"'How can you talk if you haven't got a brain?' asked Dorothy. 'I don't know. But some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?' answered the Scarecrow."  - The Wizard of Oz


 


Capricorn: Hardheaded, bossy


The House of Career and Public Recognition is home to the tenth sign of the zodiac, Capricorn. Generous astrological descriptions of the Sea-Goat include a conventional, determined, and purposeful person with a discriminating sense of taste and style. What you get is a pompous, domineering social climber, waving Robert's Rules of Order in one hand and a prenuptial agreement in the other.


Saturn rules Capricorn, and here, this ancient curmudgeon bestows a dogmatic, no-nonsense personality. Goats don't have lives; they have careers. These creatures are born with the same monomaniacal drive as the Goat half of their symbol, to be King of the Mountain. The Fishtail half signifies their "wet" emotional nature. This isn't soppy sentiment like a Water sign. It's a wet-blanket tendency to smother any feelings that surface. Goats regard emotionalism like slugs regard salt.


What they love is to recite the tale of how they pulled themselves up by their bootstraps to whatever position they currently hold. Of course, the fact that they were in the gutter and are now flipping hamburgers at the bus station is of no consequence. The pinnacle of a Goat's success is totally subjective.


Capricorn is serious, not spontaneous. By ignoring their need for emotional satisfaction, Goats often lose sight of life's intangible wealth in favor of its material goods. Being born with the is-that-all-there-is gene frustrates and depresses them, because after success comes the realization that life is meaningless without joy. Argue if you dare.  Capricorns don't like to lose and will keep coming back for more until they triumph, or you throw your hands up in surrender. Prove one wrong... and expect a midnight phone call stating another counterpoint.


"I'm a workaholic, and when I'm not working, I'm hiding in my basement." - Howard Stern


"It's a good thing I was born a woman, or I'd have been a drag queen." - Dolly Parton


 


Aquarius: Flighty, stubborn


Aquarius, the elventh sign of the zodiac, lives in the House of Friendship, Intellect, and Idealism. Kind astrology describes the Water Bearer as an assertive, original, and idealist indvidualist who treats every person equally. What you get is an in-your-face eccentric who spouts assorted oddball ideologies to anyone he or she can corner.


Next to Scorpio, more Aquarians check in and out of the local nut farm than any other sign. Personality Disorder was coined for the Aquarian head case. As we are now officially in the Age of Aquarius, you may notice a marked increase in the agitation factor of your favorite Water Bearer. Get used to it. They are going to be going over the ege in droves during the next millennium.


Aquarius is dual-ruled by Uranus and Saturn. Uranus, the planet of abrupt change, brings the revolution. Saturn, the plane of dogma and repression, indicates the status quo. In Aquarius these two heavy hitters create an unpredictable personality torn between creating change and craving security. Water Bearers try to force the world to chagne around them in order to create an illusion of nonconformity. In reality, they fear change.


Aquarians are aloof, not passionate. This is because they fear that introspection will reveal that they really don't have all the answers. Aquarians chase the future instead of living in the present. Being born without the self-analysis gene has created a schism between having a keen judgment about others, but little understanding of themselves. Disagree with the Aquarian version of truth, and risk never seeing them again. Prove that they are as self-deluded as the rest of us, and they will shatter like the thinnest glass.


"Start the day with a smile, and get it over with." - W.C. Fields


"You can have your titular recognition. I'll take money and power."  - Helen Gurley Brown


 


Pisces: Moody, inconsistent


Pisces, the twelth and last sign of the zodiac, resides in the House of Sorrows, Secrets, and Self-undoing. Astrology books customarily paint Pisces as visionary, imaginative, and introspective souls who have a natural, emphathetic understanding of the human condition. Scrape off the gloss and you'll find a reality-challenged dreamer who is gullible, disorganized, chronically distraught, and totally helpless.


Neptune, the god of illusion, rules Pisces and bestows a naive, escapist personality. Fish walk through life with tunnel vision and a pair of blinders for good measure. Every action is filtered through the Pisces version of cheesecloth. Any nasty lumps of truth are simply caught and disposed of. This makes Pisces loser-magnets. They smell like free lunch and gas money. Fish get dumped on more than any other sign. But that's OK with them because it's the only time anyone notices them. They tolerate everything, because they can't figure out how to do anything about it.


Fish are resistant, not realist. The fear of change grounds Pisces. It negates their creativity and ability to follow their dreams to a successful conclusion. Pisces prefer the status quo, even if it's detrimental, to risking the unknown. Being born with the I-desrve-it gene has left them at the mercy of their own escapist nature. Argue your point and the Fish slips into a state of rote agreement. Prove your argument and Pisces simply retreats into a convenient world of fantasy.


"If I'm to be a chauvinist pig, I want to be number one pig."  - Bobby Riggs


"Yo, are you trying to play me? Trust me, honey, you don't want to go there." - Queen Latifah



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Kate Spade

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Virgo, September 4

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