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Post Info TOPIC: have u ever been w/ someone who


Kate Spade

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have you ever been with someone you were initially attracted to? I mean - I wasn't immediately attracted to my ex - but we were friends first and he fitm y tall & skinny "type" i liked.


 


so i've been doing this online dating and even when guys are paper perfect and like me - I haven't really been happy.  but i have been talking on the phone with this guy for the 3rd time tonight - and everytime we talk - we just have really good conversation that can go on for hours and hours.  seems like we would get along great!  just i know physically he's not my "type".  My #1 thing physically has always been height, and he's not much taller than me. I've tried to make it work with nice (shorter) guys before - but that has always been a turnoff point for me.


So i guess my question - did any of you ever have a "must have" which you then realized wasn't really a "must have" like my height issue is with me?


 



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Marc Jacobs

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I think it depends on why it's a "must have." The last two guys that I've really been hung up on were not my idea of a knockout. In fact, they're really just barely "boyfriend cute." For one, he became much more attractive as we got to know eachother. BUT, the other one got fatter. And I find fat incredibly gross - it makes them all sweaty and the double chin and the beer belly and just EW. I didn't want him to touch me when he was all sweaty, I hated looking at his body, and eventually I didn't want to sleep with him anymore.

So if it will make you want to not sleep with him, then yes, it isn't going to work. I guess I don't necessarily see height as a problem in that way. Although I did date a guy who was GORGEOUS but very short and his skinny little arms freaked me out. Something about the way he moved was just weird... So, does this guy still look good to you? Does he feel right? Are you your best self when you're with him, or is there a nagging "ew" when you look at him or watch him move? And how shallow AM I anyway?

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Coach

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This is funny cause this just happened to me in Oxford. I ended up dating this guy who I initially had no interest in at all, I actually liked his friend. Then, because I'm a slut (whatever, I was on vacation), I ended up making out with both of them, found out I wasn't interested in the friend and actually had a really great sexual connection with the guy I ended up with. He was blond, a little chubby, and the exact same height as me, which are all things I usually wouldn't go for, but for some reason I ended up being so attracted to him.

Also, my ex-boyfriend was in a group of people I was going to India with, and when I first met everyone I thought that there was no one I was going to be interested in. He's like 6'3" and probably 140 pounds. Anyway, now I'm convinced he's the love of my life.

However, I do think yours is a different situation. I think it would be harder to start of dating someone I wasn't attracted to as opposed to hanging out as friends a lot, and then hooking up. On the other hand, I know some girls who always bitch about not having a boyfriend, but I think it's because they are too shallow and only want a piece of arm candy so they pass over guys who don't fit their strict physical criteria. Not saying that you're doing that, only saying to be careful.

-- Edited by Maddie at 11:36, 2006-07-27

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Chanel

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My current boyfriend is soooo not my type. Like you, I like tall guys and he's just a tiny bit taller than me. At first I wasn't attracted to him at all. At all. But we had such great conversation and he was so nice (not in a bad way) that I kept talking with him and doing stuff with him, just to see. And guess what? Now I think he's sexy as hell and we've been together almost a year. It took about 4 dates before I started to see it but once I did, look out!


All that said, you'll know soon enough whether it will work out or not. If you keep going out with him and there's no spark, there's your answer. Hope it all works out for you!



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Hermes

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I'm with blubirdie...I'd go out with him and see if the hang ups were really huge hangups for you. I hope it goes well, though...it's so hard to find people you can instantly 'click' with and never stop talking to.


My boyfriend weighs less than 20 lbs. more than I do. He's seven inches taller. He can't pick me up for more than 5 seconds. I can lift him on my back and walk around comfortably. This is so silly, but I always thought I was going to be with someone who could pick me up and throw me around like a lot of my guy friends could (I weighed the same then as now). It's kind of sad that unless I lose about 25 lbs (which he would NEVER ask me to do for this reason), he won't be able to carry me over the threshold when we get married. We just connect on so many levels that it would be silly for us to not be together just because of one thing.


We're celebrating out 5th anniversary in September and we know we'll get engaged/married eventually (neither of us is in any rush and it works).



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Chanel

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I definitely have been with people who aren't my 'type' initially. Generally, I go for the stereotypical 'all-American' look-- blonde hair, blue eyes, tall, muscular. However, my ex had the blonde thing going and that's about it. He even got a little pudgy while we were together, but I just didn't care b/c for some reason (which I'm not able to pinpoint at this moment in time and probably never will be able to again), I loved him and was attracted to him. 


And my most recent quasi-dating scenario was with someone who was/is even less my type. But after a few times hanging out with him, I was/am so ridiculously attracted to him that sometimes, if I drink too much or if I just haven't had enough sleep, I lose all self control and go into attack mode. Seriously. It's all in the personality and the connection that we have.


Sometimes someone's personality and your connection with them far excedes your intial attraction (or lack thereof) and suddenly, they become the hottest person in the world to you. Don't rule out this guy just yet.



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Chanel

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my bf wasn't my type when i first met him.  there's wasn't an initial attraction plus, add that to long distance (700 miles), and it should've not worked out.  but in the end we had amazing conversations over the phone for months before i got to see him after our initial visit (i still was wondering why he asked for my phone number initially).  i fell in love with him over the phone and everything else fell into place.  we'll be together 5 years in october and i live with him now. 


so, that being said, i would give him two dates and evaluate him after those two dates.   



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Dooney & Bourke

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like a lot of girls, i had a height hang-up too... which is ridiculous because i'm not a tall girl (i'm 5'4")! my ex was 6'6", so i think i just got used to having somebody who was much bigger and taller than me. after him, any guy under 6'2" seemed tiny/not manly enough to me. so i was always immediately turned off if a guy was on the short side.

well, i got over that. my boyfriend is just over 5'8" and not my physical "type" at all. i wasn't immediately attracted to him, but we get along so well and have such a great connection that i now think he's ridiculously hot.

i'm really glad that i gave him a chance because he treats me like a princess and we have an amazing time together. i'd take my short sweet guy any day over the tall dude who treated me like shit!

definitely give this guy a chance... and keep us posted!

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