STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I met with my surgeon today and learned I have to have a mastectomy. The multiple locations of the cancer would result in 3/4 of my breast being removed if lumpectomies were done, plus there's no point in leaving 1/4 in that would have to be monitored.  I have absolutely no other options and there's no second opinion that will change this. This involves removing all my internal breast and nipple (because it's duct related and all ducts and tissue must go), and an inflatable sac is placed in there until I heal. Once I heal, a plastic surgeon will inflate it so an implant can be put in. I will also have to have a nipple tattooed on.  I am also being genetically tested, and if the results come back positive for the gene, I will be encouraged to have the other one removed at the same time.

When the surgery is performed (in approximately 2-3 weeks - dependant on getting all surgeons lined up and testing completed) they will test my lymph nodes and if those are malignant, they'll have to be removed too and I'll have to undergo chemo.  At least with a mastectomy, there will be no radiation required afterward.

After I received this news, I had to drive to another hospital where my mother was having extensive surgery in which her colon was removed as well as multiple tumors. Her white cell count is extremely low, and this is pretty much the last leg in her battle against cancer - I was worried she wouldn't make it through surgery. As much as my mother gets under my skin, I still love her a lot, and don't want to lose her.

This has probably been the worst day of my life. I'm so exhausted and freaked out. I have moments where I get caught up in something and forget for a second then it hits me like a ton of bricks and makes me feel ill.  Yes, I know I'll live and people live through this stuff and I'll get through it, blah blah blah, but it still sucks.