STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

BargainQueen · Marc Jacobs

Need Manager Advice! Im TOO shy!

esquiress · Marc Jacobs

is he a permanent employee or a temp? he sounds like he has an entitlement complex and just feels like the job owes him as opposed to the other way around. and if you're only a few years older than him and labeled as "nice," he probably thinks he can walk all over you. i can think of three options:

1) tell him he was expected @ work, his absence was unexcused and issue him a written warning. explain that if he gets 3 written warnings, the last one will be a final warning and he will be terminated if the behavior happens again. also, when you tell him make sure you have a witness to your meeting with him. this option is the most direct and "by the book" and while it is the most favored for legal purposes (should he sue in the future for wrongful termination, for example), i understand that it is probably also the hardest to actually do in real life.

2) make a remark in passing to him regarding his tan. literally call him on it. like "wow i wish my car broke down more often--i could use a tan too" and say it loud and in front of a lot of people. maybe this will embarass him into acting right.

3) tell his mom on him. if he wants to act like a kid and ride on her coattails, he can suffer the consequences. just tell his mom in a very concerned tone that you hate to bring this up but you think he is playing hooky and since you hired him as a favor to her, you were hoping she could talk to him about his derilect behavior.

anyway, that's all i can think of but maybe the other girls have more ideas? but good luck because he sounds like a pain in the a**.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

esquiress wrote:

3) tell his mom on him. if he wants to act like a kid and ride on her coattails, he can suffer the consequences. just tell his mom in a very concerned tone that you hate to bring this up but you think he is playing hooky and since you hired him as a favor to her, you were hoping she could talk to him about his derilect behavior.
anyway, that's all i can think of but maybe the other girls have more ideas? but good luck because he sounds like a pain in the a**.

Can you fish his mom for more info? Giving him the benefit of the doubt, maybe the car did break so he sat outside all day (not likely, but whatever.). I'd be passive agressive to his mom- "oh, it's such a shame about X's car- too bad you couldn't have driven him in?" Even better- have this conversation with her while he's in earshot.

BargainQueen · Marc Jacobs

Thanks girls.

I forgot to mention, his mom walked by that afternoon and asked where he was. I was not only surprised she didn't even know but that she wasnt the 1st person he called! She acted surprised the entire time and didn't have a clue what was going on.

Kitty · Hermes

Well, does he have PTO and did he use it for the car trouble? If so, even if he lied, there isn't much you can do.

Kitty · Hermes

esquiress wrote:

2) make a remark in passing to him regarding his tan. literally call him on it. like "wow i wish my car broke down more often--i could use a tan too" and say it loud and in front of a lot of people. maybe this will embarass him into acting right.
3) tell his mom on him. if he wants to act like a kid and ride on her coattails, he can suffer the consequences. just tell his mom in a very concerned tone that you hate to bring this up but you think he is playing hooky and since you hired him as a favor to her, you were hoping she could talk to him about his derilect behavior.

I really disagree with this advice (sorry!) I just think both those solutions are totally unprofessional.

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

I love Equiress' first suggestion. He is expected to be a professional and he holds an important job. He needs to be treated as such. Pull him into a meeting room (with another manager) and write him up, formally. Explain that once he gets three write-ups, he's fired. No more excuses.

Also, explain that you know emergenies happen but you feel like he took advantage your understanding.

And if it happens again.... Tell him that you will be right there to pick him up from the dealership. Hopefully, that will scare him into telling the truth from now on.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I like Equiress's last two suggestions best. the first one will technically get the message across, but it probably won't improve things much. it'll just start a pissing match. Teh second suggestion will let him know he didnt' get away with anything without forcing him to totally lose face adn knuckle under (which people with entitlement complexes hate) and the last one is just SUCH perfect justice. he got the job with mommy's help, SHE can do the ball busting or lose face as well. So the last two take the onus off Bargainqueen to be the heavy, and won't rock the boat so much...

Kitty · Hermes

Again, if your company has PTO and he used his PTO for this "emergency" I don't think there's really much you can do.

The only bad thing I see here is that he didn't call to tell YOU he wasn't showing up. That's definitely worthy of a talking to.

I just don't think its professional to make passive-aggressive remarks to people you manage, especially when there's no way you can really prove he wasn't in a car emergency (even if you STRONGLY suspect). If you really have a problem, be mature and talk to him. Trying to make him feel embarassed infront of a coworker is junior high stuff.

kenzie · Chanel

Kitty wrote:

Again, if your company has PTO and he used his PTO for this "emergency" I don't think there's really much you can do. The only bad thing I see here is that he didn't call to tell YOU he wasn't showing up. That's definitely worthy of a talking to. I just don't think its professional to make passive-aggressive remarks to people you manage, especially when there's no way you can really prove he wasn't in a car emergency (even if you STRONGLY suspect). If you really have a problem, be mature and talk to him. Trying to make him feel embarassed infront of a coworker is junior high stuff.

I agree. We have people call off all the time at my job (to the point of being ridiculous), but if they are using PTO time, there isn't anything that anyone can do about it. Even if you don't have PTO time, he technically did call in, so he wasn't a no-call, no-show. This situation would depend on your company's time frame policies regarding calling out.

As far as not calling you directly to tell you that he wouldn't be in---that depends on your company policy. If an employee isn't going to be at work, can they just call in to the department or the receptionist and let them know and have them relay the message or must the employee speak directly to their manager? If it's the latter, then he was clearly in the wrong and should be talked to about it.

Anything other than that, I feel, is taking it too far.

member · Hermes

kenzie wrote:

Kitty wrote: Again, if your company has PTO and he used his PTO for this "emergency" I don't think there's really much you can do. The only bad thing I see here is that he didn't call to tell YOU he wasn't showing up. That's definitely worthy of a talking to. I just don't think its professional to make passive-aggressive remarks to people you manage, especially when there's no way you can really prove he wasn't in a car emergency (even if you STRONGLY suspect). If you really have a problem, be mature and talk to him. Trying to make him feel embarassed infront of a coworker is junior high stuff. I agree. We have people call off all the time at my job (to the point of being ridiculous), but if they are using PTO time, there isn't anything that anyone can do about it. Even if you don't have PTO time, he technically did call in, so he wasn't a no-call, no-show. This situation would depend on your company's time frame policies regarding calling out. As far as not calling you directly to tell you that he wouldn't be in---that depends on your company policy. If an employee isn't going to be at work, can they just call in to the department or the receptionist and let them know and have them relay the message or must the employee speak directly to their manager? If it's the latter, then he was clearly in the wrong and should be talked to about it. Anything other than that, I feel, is taking it too far.

ITA w/Kitty and Kenzie - if he has PTO then I don't think there's really anything you can do other than have a talk w/him and tell him in the future he really should call you directly to let you know he can't make it in. You're a manager, and you have to remain professional and be sure you know your companies' policies before you say something. I also agree w/kitty, that making remarks to him or telling his mom on him borders being unprofessional as a manager.

If he doesn't have PTO, then it's a different story - I would then agree w/esquiress, that you will need to write up a formal warning for him.

Let us know how it turns out!