STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Luv2Shop · Kate Spade

Update/Vent

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

Well if nothing else has helped so far (not sure if you've mentioned anything so far) just start inviting your friends to come along too. He can be distracted by B&K while you hang out with the friends you have and haven't been able to see.

In general I don't think its very fair for him to say he doesn't like your friends and you don't get to see them but when you say the same thing he just invites them more. That would make me very mad.

Elle · Hermes

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Even if you did both love this couple to pieces, seeing and/or inviting them to do anything together for 5 consecutive nights is OVERKILL.

I'd let your hubby know that while you realize that he likes his friend and working with him makes it difficult not to include him in plans, he needs to understand that you really don't like HER and that spending so much time with her makes you really upset. As your husband, he needs to respect that and take your feelings into consideration when inviting them in the future. What you two agree on needs to be more important that him trying to avoid random perceived awkwardness with his friend.

Talk about the kinds of things it's okay for him to invite them too without discussing with you first. If you're feeling up to it when something else comes up and he wants to invite them, fine. If not, then IMO it's your right to either say you don't want them to come, or you get to opt out of the event entirely. It is not okay for him to put his desire to invite his friend to EVERYTHING over his relationship with you.

-- Edited by Elle at 16:47, 2006-07-03

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

Elle wrote:

Whoaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Even if you did both love this couple to pieces, seeing and/or inviting them to do anything together for 5 consecutive nights is OVERKILL. I'd let your hubby know that while you realize that he likes his friend and working with him makes it difficult not to include him in plans, he needs to understand that you really don't like HER and that spending so much time with her makes you really upset. As your husband, he needs to respect that and take your feelings into consideration when inviting them in the future. What you two agree on needs to be more important that him trying to avoid random perceived awkwardness with his friend. Talk about the kinds of things it's okay for him to invite them too without discussing with you first. If you're feeling up to it when something else comes up and he wants to invite them, fine. If not, then IMO it's your right to either say you don't want them to come, or you get to opt out of the event entirely. It is not okay for him to put his desire to invite his friend to EVERYTHING over his relationship with you.-- Edited by Elle at 16:47, 2006-07-03

Couldnt have said it better myself... Your feelings should be priority here.. not B's!

Luv2Shop · Kate Spade

Thanks for the advice. I have been having a hard time with this since we have been fighting about it a lot of the weekend. But I keep telling myself, "You know what, I don't have to LIKE EVERYBODY!!!!!" Just because someone close to us gets a girlfriend, where is it written in the rules that no matter how nice she is (fake or not) that I HAVE to like her?? DH just really doesn't get the whole "girly" way of making friends or why or why not girls like eachother and that it has NOTHING to do with friendliness.

All that aside I think he is getting the drift in another way, which is fine by me because I am sick of fighting about it.
1. He invited them to the fireworks I was talking about and they showed up like 2 hours after we got there RIGHT when the fireworks were starting because she was "getting ready"

2. We invited them to a BBQ at our place and ended up going to my parents because they had more food. So we told them not to come to our place and to go to my parents house for the BBQ at like 2:30 or 3. They never showed and after a few of us calling them to see if we should wait to cook or not they finally called back around 6 (we decided not to wait, thank goodness) and were like "sorry, we went to the neighbors instead" Nice. DH and I were so glad we ended up at my parents instead of sitting at home waiting for them to show up. It was just really rude, especially since my parents bought more food.

So, I think after all the "invites" this weekend, DH is starting to regret it and see how immature they are to show up somewhere 2 hours late or just not even show. Wooo hoooo!

P.S. I have been taking little inconspicuous stabs at her through the ultimate tool - Myspace surveys!!! Oh yea. She is on there all the time and always does the surveys I do so I know she reads mine. Like when it says "what annoys you" I will say "immature and drunk people, people just need to know when to grow up and stop acting like idiots when they are drunk, there is a way to have fun and drink and not act like an idiot" (how she acted at the drive in)
or there was one that said "are you bisexual" and I said "No and for the girls that claim they are
1. if you go both ways sexually you are a bisexual 2. If you kiss other girls in bars and such you are not bisexual you are SCREAMING FOR ATTENTION"
I figure this is a good way for her to know I may not be talking directly to her (which I am but shhh) but that I don't like that kind of behavior so maybe they will think twice before guilting my DH into going out drinking. We'll see.