STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Metric · Gucci

Topic: Soul mates

atlgirl · Gucci

I don't. I think there are many people with whom we can be very compatible, love intensely, and want to share our lives. Not all at the same time, of course. :) But I don't think there's just one true person out there for each of us.

To me, the idea of one "soul mate" kind of closes doors to a lot of potential mates. The women I personally know who seem to be holding out for their soul mate are unhappy about being alone/single, but unwilling to consider possibilities with the men who are in their lives, or could be in their lives.

I actually think we have many soul mates in our lives. We give and receive different things from each one, and we learn from each encounter. But the idea of just one soul mate seems so limiting, to me.

Edit for grammar

-- Edited by atlgirl at 15:20, 2006-06-21

Shello · Kenneth Cole

atlgirl wrote:

I don't. I think there are many people with whom we can be very compatible, love intensely, and want to share our lives with.

Ditto.

gingembre1 · Kate Spade

atlgirl wrote:

I don't. I think there are many people with whom we can be very compatible, love intensely, and want to share our lives with. Not all at the same time, of course. :) But I don't think there's just one true person out there for each of us. To me, the idea of one "soul mate" kind of closes doors to a lot of potential mates. The women I personally know who seem to be holding out for their soul mate are unhappy about being alone/single, but unwilling to consider possibilities with the men who are in their lives, or could be in their lives. I actually think we have many soul mates in our lives. We give and receive different things from each one, and we learn from each encounter. But the idea of just one soul mate seems so limiting, to me.

Wonderfully put. I think someone can become your " soul mate" if the right ingredients are there, but it's not a pre-destined, pre-determined sort of thing. But certainly there are people wandering around the world who are more suited to becoming the soul mate than others. Also, like Atlgirl said, there are many different kinds of soul mates.

For some good perspective on this sort of idea, I think Tuesdays with Morrie is a great book. It makes you realize all the forms of love, and how important being open to it is, instead of closing ourselves when it's not in its expected or perfect form.

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

I agree with atlgirl. I really think that we have several soul mates.

itsapinkthing · Coach

Shello wrote:

atlgirl wrote:
I don't. I think there are many people with whom we can be very compatible, love intensely, and want to share our lives with.

Ditto.

Okay my thought and rationization on this, the reason there are many people is because the each contain parts and traits of the one person who is your soulmate. By being in these relationships you lean what those parts are, but eventually you move on. So yes, I believe there is one TRUE love. But you can still for period of time, be it long or short, love many different people.
Have I found it? I'm not sure. I'd like to think so. I have never felt about a man the way I do about my husband. Not even the father of my first daughter, who I loved very deeply. My husband has met all the criteria for a "soulmate" that I know I have thus far. But life is a changing learning experience. So love, like life is fluid, and I think the love of a "soulmate" will follow it's path. Thus far my husband and I have been through many changes, challenges, and life events, and with each one I found more things about him I love and need in my life. I hope it stays that way.

Okay done with the cheese.

blubirde · Chanel

I do not believe in soulmates. I'm sorry the concept was ever created because I think people spend most of their lives searching for an unattainable goal and being disappointed when they don't reach it.

That said, I do believe in kindred spirits. I believe there are people in this world who just instantly "get" you and can immediately fall in with you, side-by-side. I believe these people are people I've known since I was 12, a college friend, a co-worker, a boyfriend, a boy I once tried to date, etc. They can be anyone. And I hold those people nearest and dearest.

So no, I don't believe in soulmates. I don't believe there is one person in this whole, big world with whom I have a cosmic connection. I believe there are several people who come and go in my life that I have connections with, period. Some are sexual, some are intellectual, some are from the heart, and some are more than all of that.

Kitty · Hermes

Shello wrote:

atlgirl wrote:
I don't. I think there are many people with whom we can be very compatible, love intensely, and want to share our lives with.

Ditto.

Tritto.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

ITA with atlgirl and blubirde. The idea of a kindred spirit is so much better than a soul-mate.

I agree that this concept of a perfect soul-mate has led people into seeking a perfect mate that doesn't exist. For kindred spirits, if we're lucky we'll have a few of them in our lives. For instance, I feel my boyfriend "gets" me more than any other guy ever has, and after a year and a half together it feels more like that every day. But if we hadn't met, would I have met someone else and love them just as much? I don't know. But I do believe we can live and love happily with more than one person. A lot of it has to do with timing and meeting someone at the right time. If I'd met my BF when we were in college, we probably would not have hit it off.
Having said that, I know I want to spend the rest of my life with my BF and it's hard to imagine being happier with someone else.

-- Edited by scarlett at 21:40, 2006-06-21

bestwhensimple · Nine West

I totally agree with Blubirde. Honestly, I believe in kindred spirits because I've felt an instant connection with only a handful of people. And I still talk to these people on a regular basis. I think that personalities are recycled, so that's why you get along with certain people immediately. It's kind of like reincarnation with the deja vu feeling you get, but not with the whole religious, reincarnation to get to Nirvana thing.

With soul mates, I think people set themselves up for disappointment by thinking that there is one true person that you are supposed to be with for the rest of your life. I never really understood that. What if the person who is your soul mate dies when you're young? Are you destined to have relationships with people who will never live up your expectations for the rest of your life? I don't think so. That's why I think that if there is such a thing as being soul mates, then there has to be more than one soul mate for each person. Because it'd be depressing if there wasn't more than one and you either lost your soul mate or never found them.

kenzie · Chanel

blubirde wrote:

That said, I do believe in kindred spirits.

Ditto.

I don't believe in soulmates. Honestly, the whole concept of there being only one true soulmate for each person is depressing. What if you never cross paths with said soulmate? What if they live in South Africa and you live in Alaska? To me, the idea of soulmates is idealized and unattainable.

However, I do believe in kindred spirits, as blubirde said. There are people with whom I can connect with and these are the people who are or who will become the most important people in my life, whether it's a romantic relationship or a platonic one.

NCshopper · Hermes

Yeah, ditto to blubirde and atlgirl. I don't believe in soulmates, but I do believe in kindred spirits.

rlutz · Chanel

I also do not really beleive there is one solemate for everyone...I feel that we are all puzzles and we need certain pieces to complete us...

Cortney1982 · Chanel

When I was little I believed everybody had a soul mate, and if they were on the other side of the world it would be fate that you came together. Then I always wondered what my soul mate was doing right at that moment and what he looked like.

Now I'm more for kindred spirits.