STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Oprah had a good show about cheating recently...with Dr. Robin's advice as well.

I don't have any advice for moving past this guy, it's just going to have to happen, you just have to have restraint and you can't expect the other party to restrain himself for your benefit.

I think you need to figure out why you cheat and sabotage.  Basically, I keep hearing the same things on tv shows about why people cheat, I pay attention because cheaters fascinate me.  I am no expert, but it seems like the psychologists I hear and read all agree.  It usually indicates some kind of inner rage and insecurity and always leads back to something about childhood, even if it wasn't the worst thing ever, no parent is perfect.  Maybe instead of going to numerous counselors, you might want to try reading some books written by nationally known experts rather than spending your time and money on a local counselor.  Look up "Getting the Love You Want" by Harville Hendricks.