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Post Info TOPIC: I can't stand my brother right now!
Maat


Kenneth Cole

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I can't stand my brother right now!
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I live with my mother and brother. My mother is only home during the week. She stays with her fiance Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night.


So, Thursday night (my mother wasn't home), police came to my house last night to bust some party my 20 year old brother and his 20 year old friends were having because someone complained about the noise (we live in a townhouse). I had already told them to be quiet 3 times. I told them somebody was going to call the cops. So, then I finally put my air conditioner on, which blocks out noise, and then at 2:30 am, my brother wakes me up telling me the cops are here and want to talk to me.  


They asked me how old I was and then told me I had underage drinkers in my house (I also saw evidence they were smoking pot, but the police either ignored it or didn't notice). They really weren't that concerned about the drinking. Probably because all of them are within months of being 21. They did ID everyone and asked how they planned on getting home (thank god, one kid doesn't drink at all and several of them live within walking distance). Then, they just told them to keep the noise down and left. I then told my brother and friends that they know I don't care what they do in the house, but if I tell them to be quiet, there is a reason for it.  


So, then these kids should have either gone home or been ridiculously quiet, right? Well, that's not what happened. I still had to tell them about 5 more times to be quiet. They were so unconcerned about the whole thing. They were like, "the cops didn't even do anything" and I was like, "do you really think that if they have to come back, that they are just going to let everything go again?" One kid tried to help me out and kept telling them to be quiet and he cleaned up all the beer and took out all the garbage himself while everyone else just sat down and didn't help. They didn't shut up until I told them to all go home. Then, they said they would be quiet. But then, at like 5:30am, one of the kids was coming in and out of the house, making our dogs go crazy.  


I have no idea what to do. He has kids over all the time and I have no problem with it. I even hang out with them sometimes. But this time, it was just too loud, too late, too many people, and it was a week night. It's the first time I've ever had to tell them they needed to shut up. I obviously have no control over these kids and if I am the only person over 21 home, I am going to get in trouble. I am considering talking to my brother later and telling him next time, they get one warning and I will call my mother to come home because I will not be liable for underage drinkers. I don't even know what could have happened to me in that situation if the cops decided to press charges.  


What would you do? If the police did press charges, would they be able to press them on me, too? I don't have any ownership in the house and I am not a guardian and I didn't buy the alcohol.



-- Edited by Maat at 10:59, 2006-04-15

-- Edited by Maat at 12:09, 2006-04-15

-- Edited by Maat at 12:09, 2006-04-15

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Hermione


Kate Spade

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i'm not sure if you can get charged for underage drinkers if you don't own the house, but girl, you were WAYYY nicer than i would have been - all those kids would have been out on their hineys the minute the police left!  ooooh, i'm getting steamed just thinking about it!!!



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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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I'm getting steamed thinking about it too! I would have been so mad. It sucks to be put in the position of being the heavy when it's your brother and in the past you've gotten along with all his friends.

I'm not a legal expert by any means, but I think you're right to be worried about being held liable if anything were to happen to one of those kids who was drinking. You should not have to be in that position. And with how litigious people are these days, some parent could decide to press some sort of charges if a kid were to fall down the stairs, drive drunk and have an accident, or who knows what else.

My little brother had friends over who drank or smoked pot, but nowhere close to the volume of what you had to deal with. If it were me, I'd talk with my brother now and give him the opportunity to explain things to our mom first. If he didn't, then I would talk to her and tell her what happened. I think she should know, esp. if anything worse were to happen, she might be upset that she hadn't been told earlier.

Could she and the fiance stay at your house instead, so you're not left with the responsibility of having to police your brother? Keep us updated!

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boobaby


Kate Spade

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I have known people who were arrested at parties b/c they were the over 21 and everyone else was not. It wasn't their house, their liquor, etc. They still had to spend the night in the drunk tank and go to court.

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luckyclover


Dooney & Bourke

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I'm not sure either if they could legally do anything to you. I would do exactly what you said you were going to do. Tell your brother that you don't really care what they do but at least be respectful and if he doesn't listen next time when you say "keep it down" that you will just call your mom to come home. Tell him you just don't want to go to jail over something like that.

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Maat


Kenneth Cole

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Thanks all. My brother told my mother himself. I wasn't even going to tell her. Next time, if they won't be quiet, I will call my mother to come home. I really hate to do that because it's so nice to have the place to ourselves all weekend. Hopefully I won't need to.

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blink


Coach

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Kick them out.  You were nice enough to that trust your brother and his friends would respect you and the home and stay quiet, they proved themselves untrustworthy, so tell them to take their party elsewhere.


If the cops decide to take notice of the marijuana, depending on your state's law, you could get in some kind of trouble for being an "accessory" and so can your mother since she is the property owner.  It's probably unlikely that anything will happen to you, but also just not worth the risk and annoyance of it all, in my opinion, to be the cool sister.



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Drew


Gucci

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I'm pretty sure you could be arrested for being the in charge adult and "allowing" illegal behaviour to happen in the home. 


Stop being Mr. Nice guy.  They obviously don't care about you so why should you go out of your way for them?  Good luck next time.



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