STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

bestwhensimple · Nine West

Dumped. After 5 and a half years.

Aurora · Marc Jacobs

Oh i'm so sorry you are going through this. Talk about great timing huh? Well for what its worth at least you are finding out now rather than in 5 more years and with a kid or two.

I'm a firm believer in things happen for a reason even though we might not understand them at the time. Try distracting yourself from all of this when you can. Maybe cook a new recipe sometime or go run on a treadmill if you can. Whatever will get you out of your room and make you forget about everything.

Metric · Gucci

I'm so sorry this is happening to you, sweetie. Did you have any idea beforehand that he wasn't happy? Do you think there is someone else?

Try to keep yourself distracted, like Aurora said. We are always here if you need to talk. I'm sad that you are going through this.

shopgirl82 · Chanel

((((hugs)))). try to keep yourself busy. it definitely sounds like it's something to do with HIM and not with YOU. take care of yourself and try to think of the positives. you'll get through it.

Elle · Hermes

I agree that it sounds like his thing rather than something to do with you. And I'm soooo sorry - that must have been quite a blow .

My personal coping mecanism of choice would include vodka, chinese food or pizza, and a huge stack of DVDs which would include but would not be limited to both the Sex and the City series and Friends series in their entireties.

'Keeping busy' might be healthier, though I firmly believe that is merely a technicality.

Hang in there, hon.

-- Edited by Elle at 19:50, 2006-04-03

NCshopper · Hermes

Oh. My. God. That's awful. I am so sorry. Hugs to you.

I hope you have some good friends that will take you out tonight and help you through this. And like Metric said, we're here for you if you need us.

jettie · Kate Spade

I am so sorry...definitely keep your self occuppied and hang out with friends and family.

kate · BCBG

oh no :(. i'm so sorry! it must be hard for something to come so seemingly suddenly. ditto to keeping yourself busy--good luck getting through.

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

I'm so sorry! We are here when you need to talk!

bestwhensimple · Nine West

He came by last night to pick up the rest of his stuff after work. I got home before him, so I started to clean up our room and put pictures and things like that away before he came to show him that I am not weak. I wasn't really crying when I was doing this because I put on some music that would pump me up and make me strong. When he came into the room, I just turned the music up louder and didn't say a word. He packed up his stuff quietly, but then he said that the music was too loud and asked if I could turn it down. I refused. So, he turned it down, and I turned it up, and then he said that the speakers were his, and so he took them out of the socket.

That's when I broke down and started to cry. I don't know what it was, the music just held me together. And I couldn't stop crying after that. I told him to get out and to take the box of pictures of us that I had collected. He took the box and looked through them and asked me if I really didn't want them. What was I to say? I said I can't look at them without being reminded of the good times we had together and how rashly he just ended our relationship. He said that these times should be remembered and I said that it's too hard because I still loved him and he didn't love me anymore.

That's when he started to cry and tell me that he did still love me, but that he couldn't be in love with me anymore because he doesn't know who he is without me. And we talked about how our families would react (we're both really close to each other's families) and he hugged me and told me that he'd be there for me whenever I needed him. I said that I couldn't see him anymore because it hurt so badly. It was so sad. I kept crying while he finished packing up his stuff. And then he left. I feel like I'm crumbling. I don't know what to do. I tried to hang out with my friend but I just cried the whole time.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Sweetie - I'm so sorry! You're being really strong, and you already know this, but you just need to hang in there and let it hurt until it doesn't anymore. You know that day will come, right? {{{{{{BIG hugs}}}}}}}

blubirde · Chanel

I'm so sorry. (((hugs))) I got a little teary-eyed just reading your story. Breakups are the worst. It's true that a huge part of your life is changing. It sucks that it had to happen so quickly but maybe that's better than a long, drawn-out saga.

I've been there (as have quite a few of the women here) and we all know how hard it is. I'm sure you're a varied, interesting person and the thing to do is to rediscover yourself. Use this time alone to focus on you and what you need and what you've been neglecting for yourself over these past 5 years. Watch a lot of SATC, like Elle suggested, and try to find things to occupy your time. If time heals all wounds, best to make your time fly by as fast as possible so you can hurry up and heal.

I'm so sorry, bestwhensimple. Hang in there and vent to us anytime you want.

member · Hermes

Gosh, I'm sooo sorry you have to go through this sweetie - we've all been there at some point and it sucks. Like Dizzy said, you really have to just hang in there and let yourself heal. Let it hurt, cry, get it all out. It's going to take a while, but you're going to get past it and one day you'll wake up and you won't think about him anymore - I know it seems hard to believe, but trust me, that day will come. I remember being in this exact situation and feeling like the hurt would never stop, but it will. Hang in there sweetie and keep us updated - we're here to listen. ((((hugs))))

bestwhensimple · Nine West

You guys are wonderful. Really. I am taking all of your advice, like trying to stay busy. So, I'm staying on top of all my schoolwork, and I even went to work out today. I'm still crying, but it's getting a little easier to stop. Thanks again. I didn't think I'd make it out of this, but it's looking brighter now.

shopgirl · Kenneth Cole

This might sound strange, but try to stay out of your head and not question yourself. When something like this happened to me, I would also give myself affirmations; my favorite and most uplifting one being: "I am a good person. I am a good person." I'd repeat it as often as necessary.

Deborah

Marg · Kenneth Cole

I am so sorry. Even though you are heartbroken, there is some good advice here, especially from Aurora and ShopGirl. Hang in there and keep us posted. Hugs.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

I'm so sorry. This sounds like it came as a total surprise, which has to make it even harder. Take good care of yourself, spend time with friends and family, and give yourself time. You are being so strong already. Hang in there!

laken1 · Hermes

I don't know what to say that hasn't already been said. I teared up over your story too - I'm so so sorry. {{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Misty · Dooney & Bourke

Bless your heart (that's what we Texans say in a situation like this). I'm so sorry you are going through this. There's not much really to say to be comforting, but do try and stay focused on other things, shop if you need to -- that makes most of us feel better. Just try and get out of the house. You will need your time to cry, scream, curse him, etc., but once that is over, go over to a GF's and hang out for a while. Go over there every night if you need to. Try and surround yourself with people who care about you. Or sit down and write out a letter to him. get out all of your anger, frustration, confusion -- all of your emotions. Even if you never send it, it will make you feel better. Promise. Keep us posted and please take care.