STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> entertainment -> another Britney fug....
Post Info TOPIC: another Britney fug....
D


Hermes

Status: Offline
Posts: 8209
Date:
another Britney fug....
Permalink Closed

Letter of Fug: Part Forever

Okay, hi, y'all.


So, I'm finally out and about again, all right? I got sick of moping around the house, just wiping down the kitchen counters over and over and over again. I mean, there's only so many times you can clean up after your husband before you just want to rip the hairs right out of his head and the only thing that was keeping me from snatching that filthy man bald was watching my bootleg tape of Justin's dailies from that movie he's making where he has all the tattoos and I really didn't want my mama to catch me doing that again and also the tape is wearing out, so I thought I'd take a shower finally and go out to lunch:



I don't want to brag or anything, but I cleaned up better than you thought I would, didn't I? I know I did. See, I've been doing these Windsor Pilates tapes at night when I can't sleep while I'm waiting for Kevin to come back from the 24-hour recording studio ( I don't want to talk about his CD, so don't ask, because if I tried to say anything about the CD I might start laughing and then I would never stop and then I would probably start throwing up and I hate barfing). And I got my extensions taken out because Jamie Lynn said they looked cheap and you know I never used to think she knew what she was talking about, but then she got a 97 on her driver's test and now I think she might be kinda smart. So I look decent, right?


So that's all good and stuff, but the real reason that I'm writing this Letter of Truth is because I have to say something about this crazy statue of me:



I guess it's of me having Sean Preston and it's supposed to be pro-life or something, but OH MY GOD Y'ALL I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO EMBARRASSED ABOUT ANYTHING IN MY ALL LIFE. Stop looking at it, please, y'all. Seriously, please stop looking at it. Oh my God.


Okay.


Okay, first of all -- oh my God, I'm seriously so embarrased -- first of all, I don't know what's going on with that lion's head rug thingie, because for one thing, there weren't any rugs in the room where I had the baby and for another thing, if Cedars Sinai even HAD rugs, I really don't think they would be rugs with heads because don't you think that would scare the baby?


Are you still looking at that picture of that statue? Please stop looking at it. Oh my God, I can't believe this thing even exists in America. Shouldn't it be illegal to make a statue of some lady you don't know? I feel like it should be, especially if she is ALL NAKED IN IT, oh my God. Anyway, it's also totally, like, wrong because I had a Caesarean section with Sean (and could someone please explain to me what that has to do with the salad? Because who would name a salad after an operation? It's so weird.  But everything I ask my mother she just starts laughing and then she sighs real big and lights another cigarette). So, anyway, in addition to being GROSS and like a total VIOLATION of my CIVIL RIGHTS as an AMERICAN, it's also totally inaccurate, or whatever.


AND OH MY GOD I JUST HAD A TERRIBLE THOUGHT. WHAT IF JUSTIN SAW IT? Oh. Oh. OH GOD. God, I am so embarrassed, y'all. I really want to die. I just want to die. What is WRONG with PEOPLE? Who MAKES A STATUE OF SOMEONE ELSE HAVING THEIR BABY ON A CREEPY BEARSKIN RUG? I don't care if it's just a joke. It's disgusting and I am disgusted and also totally grossed out and if you look at that picture again I am removing your name from the Britney fan club mailing list and I will NOT put it back on. EVER.  EVER!


Okay. Okay. I'm going to lunch and I'm going to try really really hard not to slap or divorce Kevin today because you're supposed to stay together for the children even though I am pretty sure that's not going to work out either and I also am just waiting for my lawyer to call me back, and when she does, I am also going to see if I can sue that person who did that sculpture for like degradation of culture, or something, but listen, I MEAN IT about taking you off the mailing list if you keep looking at that statue. I WILL find out you looked at it and I WILL take you off the list and I will NOT unban you, EVER because you are DISGUSTING.


Okay. So, bye


Britney



__________________
"Fashion can be bought. Style one must possess." ~ Edna Woolman Chase
KaffeeKlatsch


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2347
Date:
Permalink Closed

I *think* I read somewhere that the statue was to commemorate her 'good decision making skills' in having 'chosen' to have her baby. WTF??? 


My main problem?  This dedication to her as though she is some super-mom...this is the woman who held her baby in her lap while driving...who was seen drinking during her pregnancy...who changes diapers on dining tables...and who is such a devoted mother that she spends as much time out in bars, casinos and shopping as possible. 


ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



__________________

...High expecations are such trouble-makers...

http://www.confessionsofthecaffeinated.blogspot.com
Kari


Dooney & Bourke

Status: Offline
Posts: 921
Date:
Permalink Closed

I don't think that statue looks ANYTHING like her. Does anyone else think so?

__________________
Eurodaisy


Dooney & Bourke

Status: Offline
Posts: 834
Date:
Permalink Closed

I thought the same thing, Kari... and it's super-creepy, too.

__________________
Becca


Kate Spade

Status: Offline
Posts: 1348
Date:
Permalink Closed

"Britney provides inspiration for those struggling with the 'right choice'," said artist Daniel Edwards, recipient of a 2005 Bartlebooth award from London's The Art Newspaper. "She was number one with Google last year, with good reason --- people are inspired by the beauty of a pregnant woman," said Edwards.


Mmmhmm.

__________________
Fashion your life as a garland of beautiful deeds. -Buddha
RyanJ


Coach

Status: Offline
Posts: 1915
Date:
Permalink Closed

I don't understand. I feel crazy.

__________________
I don’t want no part of your tight-ass country-club, you freak bitch!
valenciana


Dooney & Bourke

Status: Offline
Posts: 941
Date:
Permalink Closed

I'm pretty sure this is meant to be satire (the sculpture that is, obviously we already know that's what the fug girls do...)


Here are some quotes from the artist that lead me to this conclusion...


"A superstar at Britney's young age having a child is rare in today's celebrity culture. This dedication honors Britney for the rarity of her choice and bravery of her decision,"


and that quote about her being the #1 search on Google because people are "inspired by the beauty of a pregnant woman," um, no, more like disgustingly fascinated, car crash can't-look-away, by someone so, unkempt and unwashed and publicly-acne-medicated


also the pro-life thing, seriously, pro-life does not mean that every idiot should be having babies


okay, and here's a real gem: "I don't think she would be angry at the nudity of the work," Edwards said. "She has herself appeared in public nearly naked through her pop career and this work is in step with the public image she has created for herself."


but, i mean, if this guy's serious, then wow...just, wow...



__________________
Life is short - buy the shoes.
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> entertainment -> another Britney fug....
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard