STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Starstuff · Kenneth Cole

Guest Etiquette (and rant)

bumblebee · Coach

oh boy. they are visiting from out of town, right? so to them, street vendors in NYC are very exciting, and they would have no reason to think you wouldn't be delighted to take them around and show them that. i say that to hopefully make you feel better--they are just there to have a good time and probably have no intention whatsoever of annoying you and making you do something you don't want to. it's not malicious, is what i mean.

that said, are you close with the sister? close enough that you could call and ask her to take them around, ahead of time? is she planning to see them at another time while they are there? maybe you could have an "appointment" (like maybe something work-related) that you have to keep later that afternoon and just say that you don't want to cut their fun short but you need to be uptown at 3pm, or whatever time/place that gets you out of it a bit early.

valenciana · Dooney & Bourke

I don't know...that definitely sucks. I like bumblebee's idea of having to be somewhere later. I don't think it would be that weird to ask your SIL to go with them...I mean it's her mother, right? Maybe you should come up with something to make for lunch that requires some very involved clean-up. Heh.

I don't really have any other advice except that sometimes you just have to suck it up for family. At least it's only one afternoon...it could be worse, right?

If it makes you feel any better, I can commiserate. I went to a restaurant I hate when my aunt and cousin were visiting because they wanted to go. It wasn't really that bad in the end, but I never would have gone there of my own free will. Oh yeah, I also sat through two entire days of elementary school cheerleading competition with them too...prior to going to said restaurant. It was not my favorite weekend activity. But it's over at least.

bumblebee · Coach

oh yeah--valenciana's post reminded me of the other thing i meant to say. sometimes i dread doing certain family things, like entertaining extended family that i don't know very well. but once they show up and we all start chatting and i see that they are having a nice time, i don't know--it all sometimes starts to feel kind of fun and i don't mind anymore. so maybe just try to keep an open mind, too--once you are in the moment, it might feel really ok.

alb · Marc Jacobs

Uggh. how awful. They sound like real pains in the ass. It's not fair that by default you are expected to do it. I'd start talking to your hubby about it now (semi-complaining, but I'd make it sound more like your just stressed about it) and pretty much make him get his sister to do it (or ask his mom to ask his sister). She is more "family" than you and should be able to step up to the plate and help out. Just tell him you won't have time to be a tour guide AND have lunch ready to serve them when they're done (maybe add something else than you will "need" to cook on Sat. morning), and you don't want them to feel rushed to get back. Tell him that they'd have more shopping time if you didn't take them. That's very reasonable IMO. SIL should do this b/c it's HER mom that wants to show the AIL around. how annoying. BTW I didn't read all the responses so sorry if this is repeptitive. These are just my thoughts.

Starstuff · Kenneth Cole

Thanks for all your responses, ladies. I did indeed discuss this with DH last night. He said that he wasn't sure what the agenda for the day would be, b/c aparently they want to see my sister-in-law's apartment too (NYC apartments are novel for them. So little room! So much rent!) Anyway, SIL is pissed b/c her apt is a wreck and she'd have to spend Friday evening cleaning. Except Friday is St. Pattie's day and she planned to party that day. And probably most of that night, too.

DH said that AIL probably won't say much in the way of "only one bedroom? where will the baby sleep?" Arrr. I'm not preggo and we won't have kids for YEARS. Hopefully not being on home turf will put them on slightly better behavior.

I guess I'll just have to suck it up for one day. At least they're not asking to see the Empire State Building. I'm just worried that this will open the door for his mother to invite the rest of his relatives up to see our place. I don't want it to seem like we're condoning her behavior. DH can't talk to his mother about this -- she's very thin-skinned about anything perceived as criticism. Well, I'll take it one visit at a time. Maybe the next time MIL proposes something like this we'll have plans already