STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

bumblebee · Coach

RE: Confessions...

tri_sarah_tops · Marc Jacobs

rlutz wrote:

trisarashtops-I can relate on the whole pregnancy things....everythime I see my mom she says wow you are huge...I am due in 4 1/2 weeks and I have gained about 39 pounds...all in my stomach and chest. I am very self conscience right now and feel everyone is staring at me because of the big round belly....including the hubby I am very petrified of delivering this baby....i am also so scared that I may never loose the baby weight work is making me crazy....I am so tired I need a pedicure , bu I am too embarrassed for anyone to see my swollen feet.. and finally...since my feet are swollen I have 2 pairs of shoess that fit and I am worried I will never be able to wear all of my nice shoes again... It felt good to vent...thanks

Awww, I'm sorry and I understand exactly what you're going through. I am worried and paranoid about so many different things and I haven't really said anything to anyone because I feel like they would just think that I am crazy and selfish.

I'm guilt ridden because I feel that I should just be so happy to be having this little girl but instead I spend most of my time worrying about how this is going to affect my body and my relationship with my husband. Yeah, I am thrilled to be pregnant and I already love my daughter so much but the thought of delivery petrifies me and I can't stand to think about what my body might look like after I have her. I've never had the highest self esteem and if I have a hard time taking off the weight or if it takes a long time for my body to get back to normal I know it's going to be very hard on me emotionally.

Right now I am also super self conscious, I never feel pretty, and even though deep down I know it's not true, I've convinced myself that I am a "heifer" and that my husband wants nothing to do with me. About a month ago I went through this phase where I thought my marriage was "in shambles" and I even went through his email, computer, and cell phone looking for signs of infidelity. Of course I didn't find anything and I was so mad at myself because I knew I was being stupid and irrational but I couldn't help it. He has done nothing that would otherwise make me suspect anything, I just decided that I was fat and gross and that he didn't want me anymore. Thankfully he's been super understanding (like when he finds me in tears and I can't even explain why I'm crying) and supportive.

I feel so much better now, too. I'm glad to know that I'm not alone and it feels good to get everything out. Thanks!

Shello · Kenneth Cole

I'm a really bad person. I've been "seeing" (his words) a guy who already has a gf. He "loves" her and they've been together for 3 years but he's been cheating on her the entire time. I feel like she deserves so much better and I don't want to do anything to hurt her (though I've never met her), but I also feel like if it wasn't me, it'd be someone else anyway, and I definitely do not ever want to date this guy for real, but it's continued. I keep trying to end it b/c he's pretty much a jerk all around but I also hate not having any guys in my life at all.

(Please excuse my awful grammar.)

Oh, and I also have a ton of work to do that I've been procrastinating on.
(But that's normal, right?)

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i haven't been to the gym in a couple days and i have a 5 mile race in two weeks. aghhh..

the only reason i'm running the race is for the michelob ultra light party at the end.

i got my hair done yesterday and she cut WAY too much off.

not only did i eat mashed potatoes for breakfast, i MADE them because i wanted them so bad.

i need to do my taxes too.

i love my grandpa, but i'm not excited for him to come in town in may because i don't want to go to church (he'll make my sister, brother and i).

that feels good.

Collette · Chanel

My DH and his sisters are all fighting about the outcome of his fathers will and the one he's closest to got really angry with him today and told him to leave her alone and I'm secretly glad because I hate her

I sometime leave my DH's jeans in the dryer too long to shrink them because I think its funny when he freaks out because he thinks he's gained weight

We're moving in a few weeks so I've been gradually throwing out things every day. Problem is none of it's mine. ( Seriously why does he still have a cardigan from 25 years ago!!!)

-- Edited by Collette at 11:03, 2006-03-15

Elle · Hermes

My confession is the same confession that I confessed last time we did confessions .

I quite enjoy not working and since I have no idea what I want to do with myself I'd just prefer not to work. Ever. Kay? Just the thought of a 9-5 job again makes me cringe.

And, I'm going to be getting a part time job after the wedding. I don't really want to, but feel like I need to contribute something. I'm depressed though, because my earning power is pretty pathetic. Even if I got something relatively well-paying and worked full time, FH would still make more in ONE DAY than I'd make in an ENTIRE WEEK. DEPRESSING. And the only way to fix it would be to go to school and get a degree in something. But, I can't find anything I'd want to go to school for! And even if I did figure my shit out, by the time I'd gotten out of school and found a job to pay off the school, I'd probably want to quit so we could have a kid.

Kincali · Dooney & Bourke

Collette wrote:

.....we made 5 million dollars this week in the stock market and if things go as planned will go up to 30 million in the next 5 years. I don't want to tell any of my IRL friends because I dont want them to look at me differently. this amount of money freaks me out a bit.

*thud* I used to work in stocks and it is a crazy gamble sometimes, glad it paid off for you! I wouldn't tell anyone either.

janey831 · Kate Spade

I pretend to be really career oriented, but truth be told, I don't want to work.

Sometimes, I imagine that it would be so much easier for me if bf had a better job and made more money, because wishing that he made more money makes me feel shallow. I mean, I make more than him and my job pays sh**!

Sometimes, I just want to marry rich. God, I sound SO shallow.

Elle · Hermes

Another one

I had my very first, honest to goodness baby *pang* this weekend in the bulk aisle at Whole Paycheck. We've both been pointing out babies and toddlers when we're out for awhile now, but up until now it's been in a more observational/'He's being sooo good!'/'Isn't she cute?!' kinda way. I had a very strong "MINE!!!" reaction this time, all of the sudden. Sigh.

Metric · Gucci

asf wrote:

1. i don't want to work anymore. ever. at anything. i'm so sick of everything, i just want to find someone hot and rich to take care of me for the rest of my life. how revoltingly unfeminist of me. 2. my bf has been working for a friend a few hours away for a while now, so it's like i live alone 99% of the time now. i think the only time i really miss him is when i'm too lazy to do something that i want done or when i see a spider that i want him to kill. Metric wrote: it is MILs birthday and I am considering faking sick so I can stay home and watch Amazing Race. I am officially a bad daughter in law. wait....you're married? did i miss something?

haha no. We always just say MIL insted of "my boyfriend's mother" or my mom calls my bf her son in law. After 7 years we have lost all formality.

Still doesn't mean I want to go.

greendiamond · Marc Jacobs

I hate several people in my office. Not dislike, but HATE. They are seriously the most whiny people on the planet, and only one really has anything to whine about, and I hate her most. I'm afraid that I'll become one of them. I can feel mmyself becomeing negative due to their whinyness leaking out of them.

I had a health screening today. I'm a vegetarian, and I don't even eat the proper serving of fruits and vegetables! No wonder my ass is fat! I'm not a vegetarian, I'm a carbandcheesetarian.

-gd

cat · Marc Jacobs

The only thing ate at all yesterday was a chocolate chip cookie.

I have done no home work at all this week.

I only slept 4 hours last night,and have not gotten more the 6 hours of sleep a day for over a month.

A few weeks ago I made out with a guy I barely know.

I have not shaved my legs in a week(gross I know).

I have not flossed my teeth in 3 days.

I have just been pretty much lazy for 4 days with out a good reason.

small fry · Chanel

My son has friends over playing and Iam ready for them to go home(need peace and quiet) such a bad mommy

My son and I made some cookies and I ate more than he did

I need to clean out from under my bed( I use it for storage) I have been saying for a year

Renee · Kenneth Cole

OK, this is really a secret I have not told anybody except my husband. An article of mine was rejected about a month ago and I have concealed it from my advisors because I am so ashamed. This is the very same article that was previously accepted ('revise and resubmit') by the same journal when it was in a real sorry shape three years ago. I should not be too upset about it. It's a paper I wrote *very* early on in grad school (in fact, started it in college), it's on a language I no longer work with. I agree with most of the bad comments of the anonymous reviewers. My research and writing is so much better now, and I already have an excellent paper on my topic published in a very good journal... I really should not be worried or ashamed.. these things happen. But I am ashamed, and moreover when my friend L. called yesterday to tell me that her article was accepted without revisions, I was green with envy and felt inadequate. Oh, well.

Like other pregnant women on this board, I often feel fat. I wasn't thin to begin with, and now my boobs are so huge it is obscene. Two of my friends found out that I am pregnant and each gave me (separately) a variation on "so THAT's why your boobs have grown so much!"

I can't fit into any cute clothes due to the boobage and I refuse to buy in plus-size stores because this just makes me feel so gross, plus I like none of the clothes.

BTW tri-sarah-tops, 20lbs is NOT a lot. it is the standard and even a little less than standard weight gain during pregnancy. I bet it will come right off once the baby is born. Or if it won't come off at once, maybe we can motivate each other to get back in shape. As for insensitive mothers, yours is not the only one. When I had morning sickness, my mom would call and tell me chirpily, "*I* never had morning sickness!" Why, thanks, mom. It's the shock of transitioning to grandmotherhood, I bet.

-- Edited by Renee at 19:35, 2006-03-14

valenciana · Dooney & Bourke

Elle wrote:

I quite enjoy not working and since I have no idea what I want to do with myself I'd just prefer not to work. Ever. Kay? Just the thought of a 9-5 job again makes me cringe.

And, I'm going to be getting a part time job after the wedding. I don't really want to, but feel like I need to contribute something. I'm depressed though, because my earning power is pretty pathetic. Even if I got something relatively well-paying and worked full time, FH would still make more in ONE DAY than I'd make in an ENTIRE WEEK. DEPRESSING. And the only way to fix it would be to go to school and get a degree in something. But, I can't find anything I'd want to go to school for! And even if I did figure my shit out, by the time I'd gotten out of school and found a job to pay off the school, I'd probably want to quit so we could have a kid.

This is *exactly* how I feel. Now...that said, I am applying to this graduate program, and I am truly excited about it and interested in actually working in this field (as long as it doesn't turn out to be anything like my previous work experiences)...but at the same time, I do worry that by the time I finish in 3 1/2 years, that all I will really want to do is have babies and be a SAHM...

My other confession is...sometimes I don't eat normal food all day (well at least until hubby comes home). Sometimes I will just start with a chocolate carnation instant breakfast and then move on to a bagel and then candy and then a 100 calorie pack of chips ahoy...it's bad.

Ritz · Dooney & Bourke

i leave for spring break on saturday and was sick and had finals so havent worked out for the last 2 weeks.. which would be understandable but now i can't motivate myself to start back up and my parents are bringing me home a tin roof sundae in abt an hour:(

i'm totally in love, well, "like" with this guy but really have no reason to be.. he's not that great, but i just can't get over him

i'm really not into the whole idea of saving..and definitely no good at it. i know i need to, im graduating in june and then am on my own, but i just keep finding cute things and buying them and don't know how I will make it on my own.

actually, to be honest, money terrifies me and i just prefer not to think about it at all.

Lilykind · Hermes

I wand to lose my gut and have a gorgeous toned body this summer (maybe finally break out the swimsuit?), but I am eating Butterfinger Eggs without even thinking. I even have started bringing in two oranges to work every day and eating them when I'm hungry, plus I have healthier options like Triscuits and whole wheat crackers but I still can't resist the allure of the Butterfinger Egg. Ugh. Am turning into fatso. Gah.

The strap on my purse broke today too, right as I was leaving my apartment but since I was already running late for work I couldn't go back to change bags. I am currently carrying a bag with a broken strap around.

It's the wrong time of the month, 'Nuff said.

Metric · Gucci

a gourmet hot dog stand opened up Uptown. The hot dogs are so f#%&ing good that I have tried to find excuses to go Uptown everyday.

Which brings me to my next confession...I hate my body right now. I haven't gained any weight according to the scale but my body is so weird right now. My limbs are style fairly thin but my trunk/abdomin is a complete flabby mess. I have no waist. And no one understands b/c they can't actually see my stomach so they think I'm skinny. I know my bf is totally turned off but I can't even get motivated to work out or diet.

-- Edited by Metric at 09:38, 2006-03-16

sephorablue · Marc Jacobs

I seem to be jealous of most of my friends these days because most of them are, in no particular order:

writing dissertations

buying houses

getting promotions, raises & bonuses

living and/or traveling abroad

getting married

this is the most obscene case of "grass is greener" syndrome that I have experienced in a long long time.

oh, and I'm addicted to Civilization. A computer game. Proof of the depth of my un-hipness.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

sephorablue wrote:

I'm addicted to Civilization. A computer game. Proof of the depth of my un-hipness.

I'm addicted to Civilization too! I can't wait for the new one to come out for Macs.

Hmm, my confessions...I'm afraid of being legally related to my BF's parents because of their problems with money, even though I like them very much as people. I got a 6 pack of Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs yesterday and there's already only one left. I like to bake when I feel depressed or sad. I have three papers I should be writing right now, yet here I am posting. I worry way too much about maybe having said the wrong thing.