STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

lindsay and kittenheels- I wouldn't consider you lurkers!! When you post, I recongize your name- thats good enough for me. There are tons of people on this site thoguh that have never posted EVER. That's what i find to be obnoxious. Seriously, why bother signing up and reading if you're not going to post?

I actually started PMing people the other day (I was super bored) that I saw lurking to see what the deal was.

detroit wrote:

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Be careful with this, as it can be defined as harassment.  There is no requirement in the forum rules that a member must post. 

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Hello girls,

(Warning, this is kind of long)

I confess that I'm a lurker!  (Well, ex-lurker.)  I know that lurking is allowed but if it goes on too long without contribution to the forum, it does seem like all taking and no giving.  Guilty as charged.  BUT, let me 'splain. 

I have visited this site religiously for probably about a year now, but I have never posted because, in the beginning, I was a complete fashion victim - trust me, you would not have wanted my input/advice.  Because I had to move away from all my girlfriends three years ago to go to the horror that is law school, and because my husband's job location requires that I am still 50 miles from the school itself, putting a real damper on forming new friendships there, I found myself living without any feminine input.  My fashion sense, never well developed to start with, completely deteriorated.  I can't even tell you how bad my outfits were because the shame would overwhelm me.  (Maybe one day I'll share so you can laugh hysterically - let's just say that I did not even know the term "mom jeans" let alone know that I was wearing them - and I wasn't even a mom.)

I always felt out of place and inferior around other girls who just seemed to know how to put outfits together.  Law school is hard enough on your self esteem without feeling inferior as a woman as well.  I knew I had to do something, started searching the web for advice, and I stumbled across ST. What an eye opener.  It is more useful than any fashion mag on the market.  I study this site the way I study for school.  I still make a lot of shopping mistakes (I have an innate attraction for glitter - why oh why), but you should see my closet now!  From the ST posts, I have learned about quality, not just blind adherence to designer labels; that you still have a right (and a duty!) to make responsible style choices even if you are not a size 2; and that feminine influence is indispensible.

I'm on a budget, but after reviewing ST posts, I bought my first BCBG and Steve Madden pumps and threw away my Newport News specials.  I now have about 30 pairs of shoes, none totally high end, but all of great quality and style.  People comment almost daily on my shoe choices.  And I ALMOST had the courage to do my first post on the most recent weekend shopping.  I bought my first designer handbag, a black leather BCBG Max Azria, originally priced at $300.00 but that I got at Dillards on sale for $74.00.  I was so proud of myself!  Not because it was designer, but because the quality of the hardware and leather is unbelievable, it really is noticeable and, most astonishingly, I NOTICED THE DIFFERENCE.  I would post a picture now, but I can't find one on the web and I don't own a digi.

The greatest tribute to ST: I just turned 40, and the universe gave me a surprise gift - I am unexpectedly pregnant with my first child.  Before ST, I would have immediately turned to sweat pants of questionable origin and resigned myself to 9 months of shapeless hideousness, no doubt descending into complete "I'm a Mom, I give up" mode after the baby is born.  Instead, with my new knowledge, I went to Bluefly, Shopbop, and Target and made pretty outfits within my budget, and I visited Sephora and bought really nice makeup so I could feel good about myself during this wonderful time.  This may sound shallow to some (like my mom), but the ST community will understand - if you don't feel good about yourself, how can you do right by others?  I am enjoying this pregnancy, with no feeling of self-sacrifice whatsoever, and I feel prettier as a pregnant lady than I ever did before.

So, thanks for letting me lurk and "take" your knowledge.  It has meant more to me than you can imagine. 

Carry on, girls!

Newme- that is such a sweet story.  congrats on the pregnancy! 

Well, I think Newme answered our questions about lurkers, yes? Congrats on the pregnancy Newme! And, perhaps even more (although I don't mean to sound shallow), congrats on finding your outer beauty. Confidence can come in so many different ways and I'm proud to be a part of a community that makes people feel better about themselves.