STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> relationships -> I did something stupid
Post Info TOPIC: I did something stupid
llegs


BCBG

Status: Offline
Posts: 249
Date:
RE: I did something stupid
Permalink Closed


lorelei wrote:
Fess up and risk the cards you put on the table anyway when you made the decision to cheat.  It's your only choice in my opinion, but I know don't most people feel like I do and would disagree with me.  I am a discloser myself, so I couldn't live with a lie like that eating at me, no matter if anyone else could blow my cover or not, I would rather take the heat and be done with it than sit on it and burn for a lifetime.  -- Edited by lorelei at 16:09, 2006-03-01


I totall agree with lorelei. I don't know what your beliefs are, but in situations like these I always try to remember that it's out of my hands and in God's. If he wants you two to be together, he'll make it happen regardless. Honesty, for me, is always the best policy. You can let go of that guilt that you have weighing you down. I've been in your shoes before and nothing relieved the angst in my heart until I told the truth. I'll be praying for you.

__________________
Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

Status: Offline
Posts: 2130
Date:
Permalink Closed

I didn't weigh in before because I was cheated on and honestly, it was the most painful thing ever. At the same time, I think that your decision not to tell him, and to bear the hurt alone, shows maturity and strength. Sometimes telling is just about relieving your own feelings at the expense of someone else. I don't see how it could help at this juncture. From reading your post, it sounds like you love him very much, it was a one-time thing that will never happen again, and you've grown a lot since then. I think you've earned the right to leave the past in the past. And I don't see a need to "come clean." Good luck...

__________________
laken1


Hermes

Status: Offline
Posts: 5600
Date:
Permalink Closed


Dizzy wrote:
I didn't weigh in before because I was cheated on and honestly, it was the most painful thing ever. At the same time, I think that your decision not to tell him, and to bear the hurt alone, shows maturity and strength. Sometimes telling is just about relieving your own feelings at the expense of someone else. I don't see how it could help at this juncture. From reading your post, it sounds like you love him very much, it was a one-time thing that will never happen again, and you've grown a lot since then. I think you've earned the right to leave the past in the past. And I don't see a need to "come clean." Good luck...


I totally agree with this.

__________________
Who do you have to probe around here to get a Chardonnay? - Roger the Alien from American Dad
blink


Coach

Status: Offline
Posts: 1652
Date:
Permalink Closed

can I just add to my advice to fess up....


that if I were in that situation, the reason I would want to be honest would not be to self serve, but to be selfless, to give that loved one a chance to make a real decision about being with me.  I feel that the person I love deserves to know all, it's out of respect for the loved one and out of humility for self.  The purpose of honesty is not just to have a clean conscious, even though that is important for emotional healing.  I can see now after reading some posts, how my first statement looked like some sort of personal gain would be the prime motive, so I wanted to explain.  Hope it all works out for you, it's very tough situation no matter what you do.



__________________
"Go either very cheap or very expensive. It's the middle ground that is fashion nowhere." ~ Karl Lagerfeld
«First  <  1 2 | Page of 2  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
stylethread site home page -> stylethread forum -> relationships -> I did something stupid
Tweet this page Post to Digg Post to Del.icio.us


Create your own FREE Forum
Report Abuse 		Powered by ActiveBoard