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poptart


Coach

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oldest question in the book...
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There's a guy I dated recently that I can't stop thinking about. I liked him, but it wasn't going anywhere and I just let it drop. But I wanted to keep in contact. He didn't. I get the feeling he just can't stand me now. I've tried harder to stay friends with him than I've ever tried to stay friends with anyone, and I know it's just left me looking stupid. But ... I hate the idea that all relationships have to end in some sort of power trip, with one person wanting something from the other.


And, honestly, I've ended too many relationships ending up ignoring each other, and I just really hoped this would be better. Unfortunately, I think he just thinks I want to date him. Or he thinks I'm psycho stalker girl.


So, there's nothing I can do, right? I just have to let it drop - as much as that sucks? Ick.


Any thoughts? This has seriously been bugging me for weeks.



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D


Hermes

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I would say just move on.

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Mandy


Kate Spade

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i know you don't want to hear this, but move on.  you can't force someone to be your friend. 

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JoceyBaby23


Gucci

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Mandy wrote:

i know you don't want to hear this, but move on.  you can't force someone to be your friend. 
I agree. I dont think it is worth your time to keep pursueing.

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laken1


Hermes

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agree. let it go.

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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i agree...it's time to let it go and move on, as much as you don't want to. besides, it's better to be friends with someone when you're both putting in the effort, right?

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Based on my own experiences, I suspect that you don't want to be his friend as much as you want to win the power trip. I think you should talk to him if he's around, don't avoid him, don't ignore him, don't give him anything to keep the power trip going. Just sort of smile pityingly. Think of it like an acting exercise. Pretend he's that dork who always had a crush on you and you don't like him but you sort of enjoy the attention. And think really hard about the things he did that bugged you - to get over him.

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blink


Coach

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he who cares least wins.  stop it all, for your dignity.  even if you do still care, pretend as hard as you can that you don't, eventually, it will go away.  If you just can't do the ignore each other thing, replace it with the typical who cares nod of recognition, brief low lidded eye contact and a low voiced, quiet "what'sup." with a non-smile when you are in passing, and at least that way you aren't acting like you are intimidated by him.

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blubirde


Chanel

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I'm reminded of a Golden Girls episode. Rose gets really upset because this guy at work doesn't like her. She wants everyone to like her, including him. Much hilarity ensues as he gets mauled by the kitty she gives him, etc. He finally tells her that if she wants to be his friend, she'd do what he wanted, right? She says yes he tells her fine, he'll be her friend but that what he wants is for her to leave him alone and never talk to him again, because that's what he NEEDS, as a friend. Hee! Of course, she agrees.

So basically, f*ck him. Let him go. You tried, he wasn't amiable, and that's all you can do. He's not cool, so stop trying. You don't need him to like you. He's irrelevant. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. You can do it!

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poptart


Coach

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Thanks, everyone. I will continue ignoring him. I know it's what I have to do, but darnit: I don't wanna!


(We need an emoticon that is a mix of shame and pouting, just for me.  Maybe this one: )



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Forget, forgive, conclude, and be agreed. - Shakespeare
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