STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Attack of the retouching . . . c'mon, how did Brit-Brit lose 20 lbs. overnight? Maybe she's been eating a magic Slim Jim. Anyway, here she is on the cover of People. The funniest quote is,"I found out after the baby that I can sing!" Ha!

Sometimes I really love PETA. Not only are they out fighting the good fight for animal rights, they're also "antiquing" annoying celebutants. Paris Hilton got floured along with designer Julien Somethingorother.

On a more disturbing note, an Indian director, T. Rajeevnath, is considering her to play Mother Teresa in a movie. And not as a joke. WTF?

Sienna, looking a bit tired lately. But I love that sweater coat. I can totally see one of you girls rocking this out.

A TMZ paparazzi insider shares some insider gossip about some celebs and their doings (gossiportruth.com):

Britney Spears has gone into the bathroom at a Mobil Gas Station three times — each time she was barefoot.

Jessica Alba sometimes parks in hadicapped spots.

Ben Affleck retrieves the morning newspaper in his underwear.

Lindsay Lohan was caught picking her nose for several minutes straight.

Pam Anderson bakes casseroles for her kid’s classmates. She’s an awesome mom, picking her kids up everyday and, much to their chagrin, kissing them in public.

Cameron Diaz swears like there’s no tomorrow. She clearly wears the pants in the relationship, constantly interrupting Justin.

J.Lo shops for hours on Robertson Blvd, a favorite paparazzi hangout, but almost never buys anything.

Mel Gibson plays cat and mouse games with paparazzi, hiding behind cars and startling them.

Madonna takes the cake for most clever. She often rides her bike in the exact same clothing, minimizing the number of photos the paparazzi can sell.

Kelly Osborne at the Brit Awards. Girl, I know you have a drug problem, but is that bow on your head made out of hair?

Nick wins Cosmo's Fun Fearless Male award. Um, okay. What has he really done except get dumped by a girl more vain and famous than he is?

Rumors abound when Madge and Guy cut their stay at the Brit Awards short. It's been said that their marriage has hit a rocky patch. Madonna wants to keep a united front while Guy doesn't want to play. Another impending Hollywood divorce perhaps?

Eva Green, who guest starred on The OC a few times, is named the new Bond Girl Vesper Lind.

Seeing as how Pam stole her gig as the green M & M, Nicole decided to peddle a product more to her tastes. She's now endorsing diet Dr. Pepper. I'm a pepper, you're a pepper . . .

Ryan Seacrest likes strippers.

Kristin tries to make the most of her last three minutes and jumps on the PETA bandwagon.

Geez, I don't even have a Chanel . . . well, anything! Of course, Miss Posh has Chanel skis.

Meet Halle Berry's new boy toy, Gabriel Aubry. He's a model for Versace, and looking mighty fine if I do say so myself.