STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I think vday turned me off dating for good...

NCshopper · Hermes

OMG Dizzy that is ridiculous! What is it about Valentines Day that makes boys act so stupid? It must freak them out and make them act completely irrational.

And c'mon! A mixed CD? Of four songs? That definitely isn't a "mix" and a mixed cd, while it can still be cool, seems very high school.

I'm sorry he was stupid. I hope you managed to have a good day anyway though!

Shello · Kenneth Cole

Seriously, guys' brains must work very differently than ours.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that.

My own Valentine's experience was fine but kind of weird. My ex lives down the hall from me, and talks to me on the phone maybe once a week for 10 minutes, which I really don't understand because he "wants to get back together". So he asked me to dinner yesterday, but I told him I had plans so I ended up being forced into lunch. All he did was talk about how he wants me back, and I was like "Then why don't you ever try to see me during the week, or even have a real conversation? Why do you want to get back together when you never make ANY effort with us now?"

To which he replied, "Maybe I'll switch to your major, so we can spend more time together. Do you want to get an apartment and move in together next fall?"

I don't even know what he's thinking, but it makes no sense at all to me. He can come see me now any time of the day since we live so close, and he never does. Yet, he'll switch majors? And we never see each other now, but do I want to move in together???

I'm so ready to not date again for a good year or two I think.

blubirde · Chanel

Shello wrote:

Seriously, guys' brains must work very differently than ours. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. My own Valentine's experience was fine but kind of weird. My ex lives down the hall from me, and talks to me on the phone maybe once a week for 10 minutes, which I really don't understand because he "wants to get back together". So he asked me to dinner yesterday, but I told him I had plans so I ended up being forced into lunch. All he did was talk about how he wants me back, and I was like "Then why don't you ever try to see me during the week, or even have a real conversation? Why do you want to get back together when you never make ANY effort with us now?" To which he replied, "Maybe I'll switch to your major, so we can spend more time together. Do you want to get an apartment and move in together next fall?" I don't even know what he's thinking, but it makes no sense at all to me. He can come see me now any time of the day since we live so close, and he never does. Yet, he'll switch majors? And we never see each other now, but do I want to move in together??? I'm so ready to not date again for a good year or two I think.

OMG. I'm sorry but I'm laughing my ass off at your ex. What an idiot! I hope you don't bother giving him the time of day. And don't completely rule out dating just because your ex is a complete asshat. What a weirdo! I assure you, it's just not possible for them all to be that dumb.

Dizzy - Man, that sucks!!! I don't know what I'd do if I were you. I would have probably lost it. Like, throwing drinks, screaming while standing on a chair lost it. You are way cooler than me. What do we girls do with all our anger? Where are we supposed to put it when we're treated like crap? Maybe this is why we hate men? Hmmm??? I'm terribly sorry your evening went so badly. Maybe instead of doing a full stop dating, you can try to only date quality people. I know, having been a dating mad woman myself, that I went out with a lot of people that weren't quality but I was bored or I convinced myself they might be, etc., etc., etc. If I'd only chosen to date quality people, on the other hand, I suppose I might not have gone out on very many dates. And what fun would be? So I guess I just don't know the answer. For every one quality guy, there are 30 jerkoffs out there. It's a hard world when you're trying to avoid getting screwed over! I feel you, girl.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Shello wrote:

Seriously, guys' brains must work very differently than ours.

To which he replied, "Maybe I'll switch to your major, so we can spend more time together. Do you want to get an apartment and move in together next fall?"

Seriously, I don't even have a category to put this sort of response in "specially-advantaged..." "emotional f-wit..." "Never getting laid the rest of this decade..." but at least you have him in the category of "SO over..."

Thanks y'all, I don't know why I'm so bothered. But hey, at least I have saving the biodiversity of the mussel species to occupy myself with... boys or highly-unevolved, exceessively slimy, bottom-crawling organisms, it's all about the same thing, right?

bumblebee · Coach

oh man, dizzy--that's so lame i don't even know what to say. i think i would just put my had down and get through school and deal with dating later when you are back out in the real world and away from all these socially-stunted morons.

and you are right--4 songs does not a mix tape make. the mix tape was a canard, and a bad one.

tara t · Marc Jacobs

sorry to use a bad word, but he's a jackass.

good thing this crap was caught early.

Mandy · Kate Spade

what a weirdo for both dizzy and shello.

this is completely selfish, but dizzy you can't stop dating. i enjoy your dating stories way too much. not only are they really amusing but they remind me im not alone in the dating "jungle".

NCshopper · Hermes

Dizzy wrote:

Shello wrote: Seriously, guys' brains must work very differently than ours. To which he replied, "Maybe I'll switch to your major, so we can spend more time together. Do you want to get an apartment and move in together next fall?" Seriously, I don't even have a category to put this sort of response in "specially-advantaged..." "emotional f-wit..." "Never getting laid the rest of this decade..." but at least you have him in the category of "SO over..."

No kidding! Who uses switching majors as a reason to get back together?!?!?! Like time sitting in the same classroom is "quality time."

Oh, and I love the leap from "Maybe I'll switch my major" to "Let's move in together." Ummmmm....yeah, no.

That would be hillarious if it weren't so pathetic.

Metric · Gucci

I HATE VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!

I got a big old nothing. Zero, Zip, Zilch. He didn't even say it until after my mom called to wish me a Happy V day. I didn't get a present or card and he fell asleep at 8pm so I didn't even get any

Valentine's day sucks. So I doesn't surprise me that you got shafted on Valentine's day, Dizzy, but I'm sorry that it happened.

rocky · Coach

I haven't kept up with your dating stories, but don't give up!

I admit I am a little confused by the situation. Why would a guy go out of his way to see you and give you a CD on valentine's day to dump you?? wouldn't he just stop calling? It seems like such an elaborate plan (telling you earlier that the cd was to go along with other presents...etc..). I have trouble giving the guy that much credit, I guess I view them as more simple and direct creatures, but then maybe I am lucky that I haven't encountered this new super-species of assholes.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

rocky wrote:

Why would a guy go out of his way to see you and give you a CD on valentine's day to dump you?? wouldn't he just stop calling? It seems like such an elaborate plan (telling you earlier that the cd was to go along with other presents...etc..). I have trouble giving the guy that much credit, I guess I view them as more simple and direct creatures, but then maybe I am lucky that I haven't encountered this new super-species of assholes.

Oh yes Rocky dear, you're lucky (and you're not in law school, right - because that seems to be one of hte major population concentrations of this particular type of asshole). Anyway, I suspect his "simple and direct" thought process went like this, "I need to make sure she knows that we're not going to be a couple before she tells other girls in school who I'm trying to sleep with that I tried to sleep with her. I can't just call her to tell her that... I know, I'll pretend I'm being a nice guy and giving her a valentine's day present and then say enough to just make sure she knows we're only friends and after that if she complains I can be like 'I tried to be nice to her I don't know what her problem is.." But of course I don't know for sure. Not being that kind of asshole myself.

blubirde · Chanel

Dizzy wrote:

rocky wrote: Why would a guy go out of his way to see you and give you a CD on valentine's day to dump you?? wouldn't he just stop calling? It seems like such an elaborate plan (telling you earlier that the cd was to go along with other presents...etc..). I have trouble giving the guy that much credit, I guess I view them as more simple and direct creatures, but then maybe I am lucky that I haven't encountered this new super-species of assholes. Oh yes Rocky dear, you're lucky (and you're not in law school, right - because that seems to be one of hte major population concentrations of this particular type of asshole). Anyway, I suspect his "simple and direct" thought process went like this, "I need to make sure she knows that we're not going to be a couple before she tells other girls in school who I'm trying to sleep with that I tried to sleep with her. I can't just call her to tell her that... I know, I'll pretend I'm being a nice guy and giving her a valentine's day present and then say enough to just make sure she knows we're only friends and after that if she complains I can be like 'I tried to be nice to her I don't know what her problem is.." But of course I don't know for sure. Not being that kind of asshole myself.

Oh man, I think that shows waaaayyy too much self-awareness for that type of guy. Think more caveman. Me want girl. Me want another girl. Beat arms on chest, etc.

bumblebee · Coach

blubirde wrote:

Oh man, I think that shows waaaayyy too much self-awareness for that type of guy. Think more caveman. Me want girl. Me want another girl. Beat arms on chest, etc.

lol!!! me want girl. me tired of girl. me want new girl.

Hermes

What a dick!

but hey - to your point about never dating again... I had decided I would never meet anyone and all I wanted was a little house and a dog... screw trying to find anyone. then I found my husband. key difference was that he was not the kind of guy I had always dated before. I guess it took some hard knocks to recognize I was always going after the wrong kind of guy... I always thought guys like my husband were "too nice" now I realize it's impossible to be "too nice" and why wouldn't I want someone who was nice and considerate anyway?

I digress... my point is he may have done you a huge favor in wanting to swear off dating.

nicoley · Coach

Between your and my posts, Im starting to realize how few great guys there really are! I mean seriously what goes through guys heads sometimes, and what exactly their thought process is, I will never know? Well, I dont think anyone will ever know the answer to that one!

But Im with Detroit, well and you, Im totally swearing off even attempting to meet anyone. When i met my last boyfriend of 3 years I was not even looking for anyone, and didnt even want a boyfriend. I think the right guy will just have to find me, instead of me trying to find him.

And Yes, Detroit, you have given me a great Idea... Graduate with my pharmd/mba get an awesome job, buy a house and live with my dog :)

Liz · Kenneth Cole

OMG, what is that? Was the cd supposed to be a consolation gift? I bet it was full of crappy music, too. All FOUR songs of it.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Y'all, I think I found the problem. It has to do with my ex. And I can't post it, but I think I figured out what it is that I keep picking even when I don't think all that much of the jackasses I date... Hmmm. Thanks for letting me muse here. It really helped a ton!

-- Edited by Dizzy at 20:57, 2006-02-15

blubirde · Chanel

Dizzy wrote:

Y'all, I think I found the problem. It has to do with my ex. And I can't post it, but I think I figured out what it is that I keep picking even when I don't think all that much of the jackasses I date... Hmmm. Thanks for letting me muse here. It really helped a ton!-- Edited by Dizzy at 20:57, 2006-02-15

I was just reading these posts (again - I know, a dork) when I remembered something I used to say about what type of guy I wanted. I used to say I wanted jackasses because I wasn't that nice myself. And I said I wanted guys who were a challenge because who wanted boring? What's that about? Who would knowingly go into the dating world seeking out mean and assy guys? I mean, me obviously, but why would I do such a thing? I thought it would be more fun or something? Oy! I'm such a dumbass. And then, like Detroit, after a year of hard dating (and hard falling), I decided to cool it on the boy action when bam! There comes the nice boy I'm with now. And he's so freaking nice that I almost didn't go out with him a 3rd time (the 2nd was the 1st real date). But he did something so incredibly out of the ordinary (and nice) that I felt I owed it to him (I didn't even think I owed it to myself!) to see if he was for real and go out a 3rd time.

What a shocker that one turned out to be. Nice guy = almost immediate date refusal = best boy I've ever known. Crazy, huh?

ViViDogWear · Kate Spade

OMG Dizzy - what a complete idiot - i had to laugh at your "gift tag" comment. Seriously - 4 songs - who makes mixed cd's for a girl anyways anymore?

Seriously - V-day makes something go berserk in the minds of boys.