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Post Info TOPIC: Why does this bother me?
jen


Kate Spade

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Why does this bother me?
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Okay, so to give you some background info, I made a pretty bad rep for myself freshman year of highschool in just about everyway a girl can. I experimented with a lot of things I shouldn't have at such a young age. Anyhow, by sophmore year, I was over it and I did a total 180, but of course, reputations remain. Anyhow, I'm now a junior in college, with a wonderful boyfriend, good friends, etc. In short, I feel like I've come so far and further than many of the guys that used to harrass me will come in their entire lives.


So last night, I went to a local bar with friends to celebrate of their 21st birthdays. Well, this guy that was an asshole to me when I was a freshamn and he was a senior walks in with a bunch of other stupid guys. My heart sank because I have not seen them since high school. Anyhow, the #1 asshole starts calling out to me from across the bar and calling me a name that I went by then (which is very degrading to me now). I just rolled my eyes and he just laughed at my response.


The thing is, why did that ruin my night? I know that I am on my way to a terrific life outside of this town, and he was still there drinking beers with the same dumb guys with some nasty drunk girl hanging off of him. By the time I'm his age, I'll have a masters degree, a job, and be married and he'll still be in that bar. I guess I just wanted him to recognize that I am not that same girl, but he didn't. But then, why do I care what he thinks? I don't know, it just gets me mad. What do you guys think about this? I can't stop thinking about it.



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Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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Aw, it would bother me too. I think you're really brave to have made a good life for yourself through all those tough choices about who you want to be. He hasn't had the guts. Maybe because he wasn't self aware enough to experiment in the first place... I don't know why those people who CAN"T be adults somehow bug the rest of us into thinking there's something wrong with us. It does really hurt though. Sorry you had to deal with it.

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esquiress


Marc Jacobs

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sigh.  this is just one of those hard times where it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah the best revenge is living well but really inside you want them (whoever they are) to KNOW you're living well.  and this is what you have to remember about times like these:  yes they suck but who are you living your life for?  all those a**holes?  not hardly.  you're living your life for you, so just live it sweetie.  we all think you're amazing and fabulous so when faced with people like that guy just remember that you are amazing and fabulous regardless of whether he ever recognizes this fact or not.  also, i don't know how you feel about dr. phil (some people love him, some people hate him) but he said something once that really stuck with me:"your acceptance is in no way tied to my self-worth."  so just apply that quote to your life now and i think you'll be all right.


 



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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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Don't be too hard on yourself -- that would bother me too. It's like a hit to the gut when you run into someone from a period of your life that maybe you don't remember that fondly, or from what I reading into your post, that you may feel a little embarrassed about. You were sitting there, having a nice evening and feeling good, when suddenly this unexpected encounter took you back to a whole other place and time. It took your experiences from freshman year to help you get to the person you are today, a person you are justifiably proud to be! This bozo who yelled a certain name at you is a bozo now, and will still be a bozo in 20 years. If he had any self awareness, or half the gumption you do, he'd change his life and make something better out of it -- but chances are he won't. You're better off than he is, and maybe he's jealous and trying to bring you down. A guy who would act that way is a total ass-face (pardon the expression). You, however, are a class-act.

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jen


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1344
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Thanks guys. Your responses really helped me. I know that I'm different now and that's what matters most. And I do want to live my life for me and not waste any of my time thinking about his sorry ass. Thanks again.

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Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
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