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sephorablue


Marc Jacobs

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pointless vent
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So this is a pointless vent because I know I can't change my situation now... I'm just SOOO TIIIIRED of it. It's getting hard to keep on plugging.


a. I'm going to interior design school full-time and I'm in my second semester, third year.


b. I work part-time as a paralegal at a corporate law firm and have for the past five years. The first two years I worked full-time while I was figuring out what i wanted to do with myself; all I wanted at the time was to get paid a decent salary and live in NY and have fun. The last three years have been just to pay for school and expenses. I've been longing to get a job that is relevant to my field but can't bring myself to hop off the gravy train until I absolutely have to, because my hourly wage now is twice what it would be if I were interning at a design or arch. firm.


c. I've had different schemes for my job scenario re: school, but what I have decided and plan to stick to is that instead of getting an internship this summer like I wanted (and have wanted to do every summer since I've been in school), I will keep working at the law firm until the end of the summer, save as much money as possible, and then quit once and for all. Reason being, next year is going to be insanely tough, I'll be working on my thesis, and after just barely squeaking through a hellishly tough semester this fall, I know that I don't want to be running around like a psycho, half-assing projects. The one thing I do NOT want to do is give anything less than 100% to my thesis.


Sigh. So I know what I have to do, and it makes sense on all levels. I am just SO TIRED of my job. It is so hard to do something every day which has nothing to do with anything I am interested in, nothing to do with who I am, uses none of the skills I have spent the past three years accumulating, and in fact is menial and boring in every imaginable way. I get so jealous when I see everyone's posts about interviews, and when my friends email about stuff they're doing at their jobs--going to meetings, being consulted for their opinion, working on projects, having ideas, etc. School is obviously what I care about and I expend most of my energy on that, but even so I have just been LONGING for a job that actually matters to me.


Basically I'm just indescribably tired of my job and I don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 7 months or so until I can quit. Any words of advice or encouragement or even "quit complaining sephorablue, at least you have food & shelter & pin money" would be much aprpeciated...



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Elle


Hermes

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Posts: 7139
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This too shall pass.


Hang in there .



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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
bumblebee


Coach

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Posts: 1550
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well, i could have written most of your post myself (except for the design school part), so the most i can offer is a big "i hear you."  it's really hard, especially in a law firm environment, where no one cares about your priorities or interests as a human being (i'm sure it's like this in other industries, too), and would prefer if you were a robot.  it actually makes me feel a bit better that i'm not the only one. 


what i think is that seven months is not all that long, and you really can see the light at the end of the tunnel from there.  it sounds like you are really excited about focusing on your thesis and not being distracted by your day job anymore, so i think i would try to concentrate on thinking about that for now.  it seems like maybe the job stuff will start to feel less and less heavy once you start inching closer to that deadline--you will stop taking it so hard.  there's no shame in needing to have a job for the money--lots of us do.  just keep reminding yourself that the job is serving its purpose (allowing you to go to school without being destitute) and that you're making a really responsible choice.  and then, keep on truckin!  it will all be over soon!



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NCshopper


Hermes

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Posts: 6065
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PMing you right now. 

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honey


Gucci

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Posts: 2818
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i totally feel your pain. my job is soul sucking. i wish i could just quite, but i'm comfortable in my lifestyle and i don't want to change. plus it's so much harder when you can see the future, but can't quite touch it. it makes all the petty bs so much more unbearable. anyway (hugs), hang in there.

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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Posts: 2117
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oh boy, i've been there. i am in grad school full time now and left a job that paid well after sticking it out for a few years of being very unhappy. no wonder you're tired and feeling depleted. you're working your buns off and sometimes this city can just leave you exhausted.

one suggestion i'll just throw out: are you sure you can't quit your job now? the reason i ask is, i stayed at my job longer than i wanted to because i thought i'd save up a lot of money before starting school. except i didn't. i was so unhappy and stressed that i'd end up spending more on lunch (like it would be delivered instead of me picking it up, or bringing it myself, because my days were so crazy i couldn't go outside). or i'd feel so down that i'd go buy new shoes on my way home, or shop online at quiet moments.

maybe you have better self control than me (seriously, i get so mad at myself sometimes for not saving more) but i just wanted to raise this point as food for thought. if you're that unhappy, it can be worth it to just say bye bye to a soul-sucking job, get out, and get something else that will make you want to jump out of bed in the morning.

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boobaby


Kate Spade

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Posts: 1134
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My job is killing me, too. At least you are working towards the goal of one day doing what you love, and you should take comfort in knowing that in less than a year you will be free of the daily "why get out of bed to go sit in a cubicle and do mindless tasks for people who don't appreciate me" feeling that many people will have for the rest of their lives.

Seriously, congratulations on figuring out what you want to do with your life.

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turtledove


Nine West

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Posts: 74
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Hey, I'm in grad school right now, and let me tell you I'd rather be working.  I went right from undergrad to school, and I feel like I'm spinning my wheels.  However, I agree with Elle...in the end it's goin to be worth it.  Years from now you can look back and say "wow, that sucked, but look at me now" if it's what you have to do, then you have to do it.  It sucks, its awful, its drive-you-to-drink bad...but it's getting you where you want to be.  When it's all said and done, you're doing what you know you have to do.  Try to seperate yourself from it, and have fun when you don't have to be at work.  Think of the stories you can tell your grandkids when you're done.  "Yeah, I worked this awful job, all summer so I could support myself" sounds a lot better than "What?" 



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