STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

When an ex owes you money...

Ritz · Dooney & Bourke

i definitely think you need to get the money back, for the principle of it and for the fact that it is a lot of money. BUT, i would try to contact him again regularly for another week or so before considering small claims court, etc. i would leave a formal message like "hi EX, Just calling to remind you of our agreement (per your e-mail) for you to pay me X amount by the middle of January. It is now February so I am expecting X *2? with the remainder paid in full by the end of the month (or whatever you find reasonable). I know and respect you are busy but please respect that I did you a favor and get back to me promptly. If i haven't heard from you in 2 days, I will call back"

and I know you said he doesn't have a cell, so call his work, or leave notes/mail at his apartment... that is what i would do. I know it seems like a bit of a hassle but less than court, i would imagine.

good luck!

Kari · Dooney & Bourke

I don't think I could just "let it go". Do you have access to an attorney that would help you out. You could file a small claims action, and maybe that would scare him enough to work it out with you. Or he would get really pissed off and really fight back.

Was this an agreement you made while still with him? Does the email state the total amount and the plan for repayment?

bumblebee · Coach

since you actually do need the money, and it's a large amount--i think that you should ask him for it. don't just write it off because it's difficult to ask--he owes you and it's fair. i would ask nicely without being defensive first, though. only get nasty if you need to.

-- Edited by bumblebee at 14:43, 2006-02-02

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

Keep a log of your attempts to contact him. Write it in your handwriting, on the dates attempted (not on teh computer or anything). Then, if possible, take him to small claims court. If the amount is too big, get a lawyer. If your school has a law school, there is probably free legal advice available through some sort of clinic.

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

Thanks Ritz, I think will try that if he doesn't get back to me soon (within a few days). But I really hate to call his work to talk about a personal issue. I guess if it has to be done, I will have to do something.

Kari, yes, the agreement started when we were together, but we discussed it via email after we broke up. The email jsut says that he will start paying me in installments for the bill that I am paying for him. (I am paying it for him bc his credit sucks so yeah, it is in my name so if I default on payments then it is my credit on the line.) I can only assume that he would be only paying the exact amount in which the bill is for.

Thanks for the suggestions ladies, please keep them coming.

scarlett · Marc Jacobs

I would absolutely try to get it back too. It's a large amount of money and he promised to pay you back. As Dizzy suggested, I would keep track of each attempt to call him -- write a detailed log of each date, time, and details for every attempt, and politely but firmly keep calling or writing to him. If you write to him, make copies of each letter to keep for your records. If he really keeps not responding, you could send a letter from the post office with return receipt. The recipient needs to sign to confirm he received the letter, and then you get a post card in the mail. That way he can't pretend he hasn't received anything. And then if if continues with no response, tell him he's left you no choice but to file with small claims court. Good luck!

JoceyBaby23 · Gucci

Do not let it go.

It's your money, You should be paid back and you should not have to chase him for it!

Take his a$$ to court!

NCshopper · Hermes

If it were a few hundred bucks I'd say let it go and chalk it up to learning a lesson. But since it's a few thousand, I think you should definitely try to get it back.

I like what Ritz suggested--contacting him as best you can for a few days and giving him some notice before you take him to court.

That sucks that he's being lame about this. Booooo!

calichic · Dooney & Bourke

Dizzy, my school doesn't have a law department so that isn't an option. But it is a good idea to write down all the times that I tried to contact him.

Scarlett, I was considering sending him a letter with one of those return receipts. But even though someone in his

A friend suggested that I call his parents and tell them what happened and try to get my money that way. What do you all think of that option?

bumblebee · Coach

i don't think you should go behind his back and contact his parents. from what you've said about his relationship with them, it sounds like he's probably going to end up getting the money from them to pay you back anyway. but let him be the one to do it--when he sees that you're not just going to roll over and forget about it, that you are being relentless (yet pleasant) about obtaining the money from him, he'll probably go and get the money from his parents himself. which is what he should have done in the first place instead of borrowing from you.

PS--he's obviously not taking you seriously and is taking advantage of your niceness by seeing how far he can push you. he probably thinks that if he makes it difficult enough, you will just give up. so don't play his game--just keep being nice, but keep being persistent--eventually he will have to recognize that the problem won't go away by his ignoring it (which is what he is hoping right now).

-- Edited by bumblebee at 15:49, 2006-02-02