STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

I'm soooo sorry Tashina .

Ya know, even though men understand a miscarriage intellectually, it's really hard for them to understand it emotionally.  You, unlike him, are experiencing it with your own body so not only do you get to feel the emotional pain, you get to feel it physically.  Talk about a constant reminder!  And besides when you miscarry, you're not only losing something physical, you're loosing all the plans and hopes and all that stuff too. 

He can probably get through a whole day, or even days, when he doesn't think about it - both when it was actually occuring and now.  I doubt the same is true for you.  And besides, a miscarriage at 12 weeks is a pretty violent experience, and not one explained easily to the uterus-less at that.

Sending you a PM .....

blubirde wrote:

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I'm sorry. I don't really have any advice or anything but I wanted you to know I feel for you. (((hugs)))

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me too. {{{{{hugs}}}}}}

OMG Tashina!  I think I would have absolutely lost my shit if it had been me .  Doesn't it seem like people crawl out of the woodwork, seemingly with the sole purpose of poking you where it hurts .  Like it wasn't hard enough already ...

(((Tashina)))

Oh honey, I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through and the fact that your husband isn't as understanding as he should be.  I really just think that men don't "get it" sometimes.  Yours is seriously the third story I've heard of husbands just really not understanding why it takes so long for a woman to get over a miscarriage.  My coworker's wife went through a miscarriage last year and a month later he was bitching to me asking "Why isn't she over it yet?  It's been a month already!"  Geez!  I wanted to smack him.  Men can be so stupid sometimes.

Also, I'm sure you know this, but miscarriages are fairly common, so just know that you're not alone in feeling the way you do. 

Does your boss know about your whole situation?  I hope that she doesn't because if she did, then that's just evil of her to talk to you about that.  If it happens again, I'd just tell her "I'm sorry.  I wish I could talk to you about this, but I hope you'll understand I just can't." or something to that effect so she knows not to talk to you about it. 

I wish I had some advice as to how to deal with your husband.  I just don't.  Hugs to you though.  I can't imagine what you're going through. 

Oh Tashina, I am so so sorry. You are so strong to be even on here talking about what you've gone through recently. I am so sorry your husband isn't being as sensitive as he should be -- and he should be!!! -- that has to make it even harder on you. I think NCShopper's idea of talking to your doctor and having him/her explain to your husband that it's too early to try again is a good one. You need time to heal, emotionally and physically. I think it would also be worthwhile for the doctor to privately ask your husband to be more sensitive and supportive during this time, and explain that your desire to wait is not unusual. And it doesn't help to have your boss being so insensitive either. Luv2Shop's idea of what to say to her was a tactful and polite way of handling it if the boss starts talking to you about it again.

We are here for you anytime you need to talk or vent about what you're feeling.

Hugs to you, Iam sorry that your husband is being a pain. Well I had a miscarriage back in 1993 but I was only 6 weeks along, it still hurt and I still think of it today so I know it is something you can never forget. I know it was hard for you because you heard the babys heartbeat and I wish I had something else to say but all I can give is hugs, lots of hugs. Iam getting teary eyed now because sometime I wonder  what  it would be like with  he/she here but that is something that was beyond my control. Just remember we are here if you need to talk    

No advice here; I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for what you've been going through. I can't imagine how you must be feeling, but just know that we're here for you.

((((hugs))))