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carmenb513


Coach

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excuses
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not sure if anyone has posted this before but here are some outstanding excuses for calling out of work:


 


  • I was sprayed by a skunk.


  • I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.


  • My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.


  • I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


  • I forgot to come back to work after lunch.


  • I couldn't find my shoes.


  • I hurt myself bowling.


  • I was spit on by a venomous snake.


  • I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.


  • A hitman was looking for me.


  • My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.


  • I eloped.


  • My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


  • My cat unplugged my alarm clock.


  • I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.


  • I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.


  • I forgot what day of the week it was.


  • Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.


  • A tree fell on my car.


  • My monkey died.                  I think I'll use this next.



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    Kenneth Cole

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    a guy at my husband's office used this one: He had an infected hangnail

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    Gucci

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    I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


    That actually happened to a guy I know. He got picked up by the cops after matching a description of a guy who robbed a bank in Toronto. It wasn't actually him, but he did have to call in to work to tell them he was being held in the police station for questioning.



     



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    NCshopper


    Hermes

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    My brother is a professor and back when he was student teaching he had long hair and he taught at Berkeley.  He had one kid come up to him saying "Hey man, sorry I haven't been in class.  I took some drugs and didn't wake up for 3 days" and my brother was like "Uh....you know that's not an excused absence right?"  Apparently this happened to my brother all the time until he cut his hair and then the drug excuses abruptly stopped.

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    Gucci

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    ROFL, NCshopper! Don't you just love when people make judgements based on such surface criteria?! Idiots.


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