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blubirde


Chanel

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Does this sound okay?
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Here's the story:


My BFF got married in October. One of her coworkers contacted me and insisted on helping to throw a shower for her. Fine. Because of Hurricane Rita, we had to move the shower to the next weekend. Unfortunately, the coworker couldn't come to the changed shower because she had to be out of town for her own shower (she's getting married in February).


Anyway, she ended up contributing vases for flowers and a few decorations. (The theme was the Mad Hatter's Tea Party and it turned out really cutely!) Her portion of the cost was $50. (We were able to borrow a lot of decorations and tea items from my grandmother and her sisters - seems older ladies have this stuff lying around! So the party didn't end up costing that much.)


I emailed her about her part of the party the week after the shower and I also still had her vases. She said the amount was fine and she'd pick up her vases that week. I guess she got busy or something and never came by (I can't remember the circumstances but it wasn't a situation where she just didn't show up).


Today she sends me an email saying she's moving to another city, she needs to come by my place to pick up her vases (she does), and she needs to drop off her check to me for $25 for her part of the party.


I sent her an email back saying this:


Hey! Just a quick note - I was looking back at our past emails and the shower portion, split 3 ways was actually $49.50. I actually had to research it to remember because it was so long ago! : ) I know you're getting married and with everything going on, if that's too much, $25 is fine, especially considering you didn't even get to go the shower. (I'm still bummed about that!)
 
If money's tight right now, stick with $25, okay?
 
 
What do y'all think? Should I have just let it go? It's not that I need the extra $25 (although that would be nice), it's just one of those "how long do I go without telling them they've got my name wrong" things. Now I'm all perplexed that maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. How would y'all take this email if y'all had received it from someone in my position?

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Dizzy


Marc Jacobs

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I think you handled it really well - and hey, it was probably just an oversight on her part. Well, I hope so anyway... So she shouldn't mind at all. I wouldn't...

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Elle


Hermes

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I think you handled it perfect, perfect, perfectly!  Open and honest, to the point, and giving her an option.  This way you won't resent her (like you could have if you hadn't said anything), and she won't resent you (like she could have if you'd just told her she needed to pay $50).


It looks very thoughtful and considerate to me .



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laken1


Hermes

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I think it's fine. #1, you have been out of the money all this time & shame on her for letting it go on this long- especially through Christmas when I don't care who you are, you need extra money! #2, you basically gave her an out if she is indecent enough to give you the lesser amount.

That was a completely nice email & i think it's all fine. Shame on her though!

PS- the shower sounds adorable. I'll have to remember that.

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Tati


Chanel

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Elle wrote:

It looks very thoughtful and considerate to me .
ditto, you did great

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alb


Marc Jacobs

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I think that's a totally appropriate way to respond, and it's gracious of you to mention that $25 is fine if money is tight b/c of the upcoming wedding, etc.  I would have done the same thing and written a similar response (you and I must communicate similarly).  I'd be interested in knowing how she responds as I'm a bit curious as to why she thought her portion was only $25.  My guess is that she was just confused or something.  Oh, I didn't read any other responses so if this is repetitive I'm sorry!  

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rlutz


Chanel

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I agree with the ladies, you handled it prefectly....also, what a cute theme for a shower...

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blubirde


Chanel

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Thanks y'all! I feel better now. At least I know I wasn't rude. Why are these things always so difficult?

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laken1


Hermes

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off topic - blubirde - forgive me if this is stupid, but what is your new avatar?

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blubirde


Chanel

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Posts: 4845
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laken1 wrote:

off topic - blubirde - forgive me if this is stupid, but what is your new avatar?
It's not stupid. It's "Freedom of Speech" by Norman Rockwell. He's supposed to be the lone dissenter/voice. I thought it was appropriate since we do a lot of opining here. It was either that or Wonder Woman. I'm still deciding.

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