STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

kenzie · Chanel

Another installment of the Nyla Chronicles

Elle · Hermes

Awwww, you can't help who your heart loves . Just because N is younger doesn't mean he shouldn't be the one for you - there are plenty of young people who have their shit together, and plenty of older ones who don't. And just because you and T look good on paper doesn't mean it would work IRL, ya know? If it's not there, it's not there and you'd be silly to force it, not to mention that it wouldn't be very fair to him either. I think you'd be in more of a pickle if you liked them both equally and couldnt' decide between them .

Can you still hang out with T and be friends with him without having it be weird, like if he's in it for something more? You can always use good, level headed friends and it would be a shame to let this one go because you guys didn't hit it off romantically.

Still so happy you have some new, wonderful people in your life - finally!

-- Edited by Elle at 17:28, 2006-01-07

lynnie · Chanel

if it makes you feel any better- i think the best things in life come unexpectedly. Like little surprises. I completely lucked out on my job, wasn't counting it. And if my roommates hadn't said mean things and if me and my bf weren't on the verge of break-up, i wouldn't have been so quick to move and now i'm possibly going to be in a good living situation, and in a good area. And last night I feel like i made a couple of new friends because of that. Plan as I may want to plan, I really feel happier when i go with the flow and see what opportunities come my way, instead of following everything by the books. It makes you feel more alive.

So in short, I think its great that you've made a real connection with someone, and don't feel bad about that for one second. One of my guy friends is 22 and has been with his 27 year old gf for 2 years now, and they're awesome together and may get married. Age don't matter =)

Metric · Gucci

Ok, wait. Is T the guy that your mom set you up with? And N is the other guy?

I'm sorry that you're sad, honey. You are not a bad person, don't even think that. The heart wants what the heart wants and that's that.

The next few months will go quickly (after all February is a short month and we are already a week into January) and you'll get to see your guy again soon! I'm glad that you have found someone special.

ILoveChoo · Hermes

can we get a reminder on which is which?

kenzie · Chanel

ILoveChoo wrote:

can we get a reminder on which is which?

Why, sure. T is the guy my mom set me up with. N is the guy from work.

And while I'm at it, I'll give you another brief update. I'm getting a total guilt trip from my mom about T. She wants me to date him and is pretty pissed at me for the N situation. I sooooo need to move out b/c she knows way too much about my dating life. I'm not used to that.

She actually got pissed off when N was here the other night (he had stayed specifically to meet her). She came in, said 'hi, nice to meet you' and walked out of the room. I was so angry.

I'm really trying to weigh the pros and cons of each guy. Perhaps I'll assemble a list and let you all voice your opinions. I'm utterly confused. If N was still here (I know he's coming back, but still, we're going to be seperated for a while), there would be no question. But, alot can happen in a few months (hell, alot can happen in a night).

So, anyway, I hope that clears up your confusion.

ETA: Elle, I told my mom exactly what you said about the heart loving who it loves and looking good on paper, etc. She's still pissed at me. But, I really love how you articulated it. I couldn't have said it better myself.

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 11:36, 2006-01-08

NCshopper · Hermes

That stinks that your mom isn't being more supportive. Maybe she feels stuck in the middle of something since she and her friend set you two up. I'm sure she'll understand though.

Elle is totally right--you can't help who you love, or like, or whatever. Some people click and others don't and there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of rhyme or reason to it. Don't feel bad about your feelings toward T. You've given it a shot and it was good for awhile, but if it doesn't work, it doesn't work and forcing it certainly isn't going to make it work.

kenzie · Chanel

NCshopper wrote:

That stinks that your mom isn't being more supportive. Maybe she feels stuck in the middle of something since she and her friend set you two up. I'm sure she'll understand though.

I hope she does eventually. She actually invited T over for dinner today without consulting me first. Honestly, I just wanted to spend the day by myself today b/c I'm sad about N leaving. I didn't really feel like having company, but my mother forced it on me. After he left, I said something to her about it and she got all upset. I'm looking for apartments this week. This has got to stop.

relrel · Marc Jacobs

don't try to force it with t, that will just make it worse, not even for your mom. and speaking of your mom, is she doing it just because t was her choice and you didn't pick her choice? if it is, just ignore her, she'll get over it. and yay! move out...not cause of your issues with your mom right now, but cause it's so much fun to move out of your parent's house! not to confuse you even more...but are you perhaps reading more into you and n and your feelings for him because he will be gone for a semester? so...sweetie, patience patience patience. life will figure out stuff for you.

kenzie · Chanel

relrel wrote:

don't try to force it with t, that will just make it worse, not even for your mom. and speaking of your mom, is she doing it just because t was her choice and you didn't pick her choice? if it is, just ignore her, she'll get over it. and yay! move out...not cause of your issues with your mom right now, but cause it's so much fun to move out of your parent's house! not to confuse you even more...but are you perhaps reading more into you and n and your feelings for him because he will be gone for a semester? so...sweetie, patience patience patience. life will figure out stuff for you.

Yeah, she may be annoyed b/c it's her choice and not mine. And yes, I do know it's fun to move out of your parents' house. I've been on my own for 8 years and was recently forced to move back (extenuating circumstances) in September. It's been horrendous. I hate it. I feel like I've lost my independence and I'm so used to doing whatever I want to whenever I want to without her knowing every little thing that is going on. Not too mention my entire life (aka, an apartment full) is packed up in boxes. I'm not even sleeping in my own bed right now b/c it's in storage. Must move out soon before I go crazy. I'm too old for this crap.

No, I don't think it's the distance with the N situation. It's the way we are and the way I feel when we're together. I can't even really articulate it properly. Ha. Patience. Yes, I know.

-- Edited by NylaBelle at 07:43, 2006-01-09

blubirde · Chanel

I think it's great that you actually like someone! When I broke up with my stupid ex a few years ago, I couldn't even look at boys, much less date them. And when I did, I liked them about as much as I liked an ON beater, that is to say I liked it in conjunction with something else and found it a good thing to have around but it's not exactly a special fashion statement, is it?

As for T, who knows? Maybe now that N is gone, you'll have more attention to devote to him and you'll like him more. Or, if not, just let him go. We need practice when it comes to boys anyway.

Mothers. Ugh. They mean well but they just don't get it. She'll either get over it or she won't, I suppose. My mom always tells me, "you have the same pants to get glad in that you got mad in." Infuriating but accurate. Good luck with that one!

joy0302 · Kate Spade

Your mom will get over it. In high school there was a guy who liked me and would come over all of the time. Unfortunately my father liked him alot more than I ever did. When I asked him to stop calling and leave me alone I thought my father would never shut up about it. He was mad for a few weeks but he got over it-as will your mom! Just remind her that you can't stay with someone just because she likes him.