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nunzi182


Kate Spade

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*Update* Just Bummin' Out...
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I'm just venting here about a sad situation with a lot of details that I don't feel like typing out :( My MIL has made it known without really saying it that she doesn't like me. She insulted me so bad yesterday that my husband actually hung up on her. DH and I just got married in November and ever since then she's been moaning about how she lost her son and making snide/rude comments about me to my face. DH is an only child which just makes things worse b/c MIL has no other children to focus on. I'm just sad that she doesn't like me because we used to have a really good relationship where she would call me just to chat. We even used to go shopping or out for a drink together, but many factors have changed her attitude. That's all...just sad....


 


****Update****


My MIL just called me and she was crying hysterically saying she's so sorry and that she doesn't want us to fight.  I really wish I could have relayed how she made me feel by saying hurtful things, but she was crying so much I was saying anything just to get her to stop!  It still meant a lot to me that she took the effort to call.  It must have been hard for her.  We'll see where things go from here!


Thanks for all your advice!



-- Edited by nunzi182 at 19:24, 2006-01-09

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small fry


Chanel

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RE: Just Bummin' Out...
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Oh Iam so sorry {{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs to you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  but not having MIL like you or even mad at you is a aweful feeling because it causes tension and puts a strain on the marriage. Maybe you could talk to her and just explain to her how you feel.Let her know you understand that it is hard on her that DH is married but assure her that he still loves her and such. HTH

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Tati


Chanel

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{hugs}


im sorry! that must really suck. but glad to hear your husband is on your side and wont tolerate her rudeness towards you.



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nunzi182


Kate Spade

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kaykay wrote:
Oh Iam so sorry {{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs to you}}}}}}}}}}}}}}  but not having MIL like you or even mad at you is a aweful feeling because it causes tension and puts a strain on the marriage. Maybe you could talk to her and just explain to her how you feel.Let her know you understand that it is hard on her that DH is married but assure her that he still loves her and such. HTH


I wish it were that easy. There's no convincing this woman. She's dealing with a lot of mental issues right now that I'd rather not get into, so I understand that she's got these problems, but it doesn't make it any easier on me especially when I've been on the other side of it and I know what a good relationship we can have.

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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That sounds so hard. I would feel so bad if my MIL didn't like me. You are blessed to have a loving husband who is on your side.

If she's having mental issues then it sounds as though that's why her feelings for you have changed so dramatically. It's not you, it's the problems she's having. Not that it makes it any easier to hear that, but at least you know it's not a personal thing. Is she seeking help for her mental health? Has she gone though periods like this before?

Maybe the next time she says something snide to your face, you could say something to her along the lines of "I don't know what happened to change our relationship, but I know I've always felt warmly towards you. What can we do to get back to being friends the way we were before?"

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nunzi182


Kate Spade

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My husband wasn't always on my side. I would tell him that she was being rude to me and he wouldn't believe me at first. He thought I was exaggerating or being too sensitive. It wasn't until he witnessed it for himself that he was on my side.

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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nunzi182 wrote:
My husband wasn't always on my side. I would tell him that she was being rude to me and he wouldn't believe me at first. He thought I was exaggerating or being too sensitive. It wasn't until he witnessed it for himself that he was on my side.


That must have been very frustrating for you -- and understandably so. I guess sometimes it's really hard for people to accept that a parent isn't being the great, caring person they always saw him or her as. At least he finally came around to seeing your side of things.

-- Edited by scarlett at 15:08, 2006-01-07

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Alikat


Kate Spade

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I'm so sorry to hear about that... Maybe she's still just freaking out from her son getting married and will eventually be nice again?  Could you say to her, "we used to have such a nice relationship, why has that changed?" 


I know some people can be so strange about their children.  My ex was an only child and couldn't deal with his mom, I just didn't understand her at all.



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NCshopper


Hermes

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Oh, that sucks.  Especially because you should be enjoying your time as newlyweds and not having to deal with her bullshit.  I'm glad your husband is seeing your side of the issue now--there's nothing worse than feeling ganged up on. 


I'm sorry you have to deal with this.    I don't know what the situation is, but hopefully it's something that can get better in the future.



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nunzi182


Kate Spade

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NCshopper wrote:
Oh, that sucks.  Especially because you should be enjoying your time as newlyweds and not having to deal with her bullshit.  I'm glad your husband is seeing your side of the issue now--there's nothing worse than feeling ganged up on. 
I'm sorry you have to deal with this.    I don't know what the situation is, but hopefully it's something that can get better in the future.


She actually told DH that she's having a really hard time accepting the marriage. We went to look at a house on Saturday and she was asked to come along but didn't because, "she didn't want to be too negative." This woman knows she's nasty, she just doesn't care.

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scarlett


Marc Jacobs

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That is really a shame. Hopefully she'll realize she's driving her son away by behaving in this manner, and will get her act together.

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NCshopper


Hermes

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RE: *Update* Just Bummin' Out...
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Wow!  I'm impressed she called!  That's a big step in the right direction.  I wouldn't take it to mean that everything's going to be fine and hunky dory from here on out, but I'd take it as her extending an olive branch and attempting to start making the situation better. 


Glad to hear things are turning around.  



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blubirde


Chanel

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I don't have any advice or anything, not having any in-laws or anything but I'm happy to hear she recognizes her own bad choices and is at least trying to rectify them somewhat. Maybe she'll be nicer as time goes along. Good luck!

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