STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

bex · Chanel

how to tactfully answer this?

asf · Kate Spade

just tell them you're waiting until after the baby's born because you don't want to look fat in your wedding pictures.

then walk away before they get their jaws off the floor.

bex · Chanel

asf wrote:

just tell them you're waiting until after the baby's born because you don't want to look fat in your wedding pictures. then walk away before they get their jaws off the floor.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tactful ASF- i said tactful!!!!! although i love your idea i don't think it would fly with my highly religious crazy aunt!!!

ILoveChoo · Hermes

asf wrote:

just tell them you're waiting until after the baby's born because you don't want to look fat in your wedding pictures.

Elle · Hermes

I usually put a horrified/disgusted look on my face and ask either "Why would you ask a thing like that?!?" or "Why would we do a thing like that?!?". We've been together for 9 years, engaged for nearly 4 of those - we got that ALOT in between the official engagement and setting a date. Anyway, it usually functions to move the uncomfortableness from their question from you back to them. The usage was directly linked to how much I liked and/or how often I had to deal with someone. The former was used for people I already found annoying/pushy/mean, the latter for family and well-meaning friends/coworkers.

Or if both those options feel to forward/rude to you, a blase "Whenever" works too, without giving them the satisfaction (and reinforcement) of getting their quesion answered.

Dizzy · Marc Jacobs

I would smile, say "it's so kind of you to inquire (slash - care about my personal affairs so much), we'll definitely keep you posted" and change the subject. But if they're being particularly obnoxious, I might be tempted to ask "And why do you want to know?"

jj · Kate Spade

When DH and I were dating, I would smile, give them a quizzical look and say "Why do people think it's appropriate to ask that question?" and change the subject.

I mean, seriously, why does anyone think it's their business? So I was on my own personal crusade to point out how offensive it was, but with a polite smile on my face.

Now I do it when people ask us "When are you going to have children??" It never ends.

Cortney1982 · Chanel

Say, "sometime before the honeymoon". Not rude at all!

member · Hermes

Bex - my BF and I have been together almost 4 years and we get this question ALL the time. I am just as annoyed and frustrated as you. I find it rude and inappropriate to ask. Why do people think it's their business? Every friggin holiday, I get "so did you get a ring for Christmas, Valentines, Birthday, etc" It really pisses me off. I always say "Don't worry I'll be sure to let you know when we get engaged since you're so concerned" and if the same people repeadtely ask me, I say "I told you before, I'll let you know when - so stop asking" Luckily, our families are nice enough not to ask that - it's coworkers, friends, etc. I can't tell you how many friends said "so do you think B is buying you a ring for xmas" I said No I know he's not.

bex · Chanel

shopchicago33 wrote:

I can't tell you how many friends said "so do you think B is buying you a ring for xmas" I said No I know he's not.

over and over i have been asked this same thing. i say no... but they are insistent that he probably did and how excited will i be?

bleh....

thanks for all the great comebacks ladies! i am going to a holiday party this weekend and i'm sure i'll be asked. i'll be using some of your lines!

member · Hermes

bex wrote:

shopchicago33 wrote: I can't tell you how many friends said "so do you think B is buying you a ring for xmas" I said No I know he's not. over and over i have been asked this same thing. i say no... but they are insistent that he probably did and how excited will i be? bleh....

OMG - my friends are doing the same thing to me! Two of my girlfriends are insistent that they just know he's proposing. I'm like "um, no he's not trust me!" WTF!

Sandy · Kate Spade

I get this question all the time. I'm not sure if people are serious or just making conversation... I mean, I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years, but I'm only 20. I always smile, say "tomorrow... didn't you get an invitation?" and wink.

shopgirl82 · Chanel

i HATE this question, and i'm *sorta* glad for that reason i'm not going home this year.

my younger cousin, who's one year younger, is engaged. and her four older sisters a year apart from each other (so i'm 23, she's 22, her sister's 24, 25, 27, 30) are all married. so naturally i get that question every holiday. granted my bf is 29, i've been dating him 4 years and we live together...but does that make it right to ask that??? i always say, i'm only 23. ususally they are quiet after that, but then when they push it farther it gets really annoying, especially when they asked how old is he (meaning, well he's 29...)? and that's when i say that i need another drink.

the worst was the first time i brought my bf home, HE had to deal with the questions, from my extended family. i felt sooo freaking bad for him.

it's funny cuz my mom just skips the when are you getting married (she would NEVER ask) and asks me when am i having the babies? jokingly of course.

sorry for the rant, but i was seriously trying to make myself feel better for not being able to go home this year, and this was one of the reasons that i came up with.

graceful_stars · BCBG

bex wrote:

So, when are you two getting married? Are you getting some hardware for your finger this Christmas? Has BF visited the jewelry store this Christmas? So, when are you two finally going to make it official?

"No (or I'm not sure), but I promise you'll be one of the first to know when we do (or he does)."

If they ask more questions, repeat the same answer over and over again until they get the hint.

ayo · Coach

LOL!!! you are just too hilarious

asf wrote:

just tell them you're waiting until after the baby's born because you don't want to look fat in your wedding pictures. then walk away before they get their jaws off the floor.

Ritz · Dooney & Bourke

i realize it's different- since you actually have an SO.. but when my sister got married last summer, i warned my mom that if her friends asked me when it was my turn (i was only 20!) that i would tell them I was a lesbian, didn't believe in marriage, waiting till after the baby was born, etc.

thus, my mom hinted to my friends when the questions began that it was really not appropriate. in reality, she was just saving herself from me embarassing her!:)