some of you have seen kiz before - she's my alias. she will be doing my posting of sensitive nature from here on out... some of you know who kiz really is - I am on the first page of the member list... hmmm - what other clues can I give you...
anyway - I just wanted regular posters to know it's me when I post so you don't think I'm some random person... PM me if you can't figure it out.
I'm sorry you feel that you need to be "incognito" with us. This forumn is great and you should be able to discuss anything you like. I bet if you had a poll and asked stylethreaders if they are less judgemental now than before posting on stylethreader, they would probably say "yes" absolutlely.
hey Kiz...what did you decide on the gift for your boss?
well, I have another story. we decorated our work area (this is something we were encouraged to do throughout the company) on a day she was out this week. when she returned to the office, she commented that she noticed that we decorated , and said it's fine, as long as it's non-denominational - I chimed in and said it was seasonal (we have a big round table we share and we covered it with a cream moire table cloth, huge mass of white poinsettias in the center of the table, gold and silver bows tying the corners of the table cloth up, and a huge silver snowflake hanging directly over the poinsettias.) I was concerned about the poinsettias, because "they are associated with Christmas, which is a Christian holiday" but she didn't say anything about them (whew). my co-worker, in an attempt to include her and be nice said "if you want, you can bring in a menorah to add to the decorations" which was met with the response, "oh, maybe I'll do that, but I really don't consider Hanukkah a season" and started going on about how it's not a "season" at which point I said, "well, it's probably better that we just keep it seasonal then" and walked away to do something random...
anyhow - I think it's best that I give her something as a "holiday" gift... I know she would berate me if I gave her a gift under any other guise. I'm almost concerned about doing a New Year's gift, as I may be berated for avoiding acknowledging that she has a "holiday." this is my work life - constantly anticipating and tailoring my actions to avoid bullets.
Kiz wrote: anyhow - I think it's best that I give her something as a "holiday" gift... I know she would berate me if I gave her a gift under any other guise. I'm almost concerned about doing a New Year's gift, as I may be berated for avoiding acknowledging that she has a "holiday." this is my work life - constantly anticipating and tailoring my actions to avoid bullets.
Oh no...it sounds like no matter what you do she could take it the wrong way. I don't think a New Year's gift means you aren't acknowledging her holiday though. It seems perfectly normal in a work setting to give a present as appreciation for one's work in the past year and as a way to start the new year off on a pleasant note.
Also like I said before, if she is really religious and respectful of Hanukkah traditions she might not be into gift-giving anyway. As far as I know the Jewish tradition was to give children small amounts of money (gelt) or candy (like the chocolate gelt/coins) and a lot of people say that the massive gift-giving is really just the result of Hanukkah's proximity to Christmas. I remember reading an article in which a bunch of rabbis said that giving of Hanukkah presents is upsetting because it seems like Hanukkah has become a Jewish Christmas and the origins of Hanukkah lie in the resistance of Jews to assimilation plus Hanukkah isn't even the most important Jewish holiday etc etc.
Kiz wrote: anyhow - I think it's best that I give her something as a "holiday" gift... I know she would berate me if I gave her a gift under any other guise. I'm almost concerned about doing a New Year's gift, as I may be berated for avoiding acknowledging that she has a "holiday." this is my work life - constantly anticipating and tailoring my actions to avoid bullets. Oh no...it sounds like no matter what you do she could take it the wrong way. I don't think a New Year's gift means you aren't acknowledging her holiday though. It seems perfectly normal in a work setting to give a present as appreciation for one's work in the past year and as a way to start the new year off on a pleasant note. Also like I said before, if she is really religious and respectful of Hanukkah traditions she might not be into gift-giving anyway. As far as I know the Jewish tradition was to give children small amounts of money (gelt) or candy (like the chocolate gelt/coins) and a lot of people say that the massive gift-giving is really just the result of Hanukkah's proximity to Christmas. I remember reading an article in which a bunch of rabbis said that giving of Hanukkah presents is upsetting because it seems like Hanukkah has become a Jewish Christmas and the origins of Hanukkah lie in the resistance of Jews to assimilation plus Hanukkah isn't even the most important Jewish holiday etc etc.
you know, cc, I really think it's not a matter of her being really religious, I think it's a matter of being extremely passive agressive and dependent on her mood, it could be a bad move. She can be pretty evil. I think I'm going to skip the gift... it's just too dang chancy... better to just avoid the situation all together. I really appreciate your good advice though! had it been a more normal person, I would have definitely taken it! thanks anyway!