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Coach

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MIL rejects my gift ideas
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I don't usually post stuff like this, even though I sometimes feel like I am in a constant state of annoyance with my in laws, but here goes...it's wordy, but if you feel me, read on.


My husband, bless his heart, is not very skilled at gift giving, he requires strong hints and exact lists.  When he does buy on his own, he uses lots of effort.  In six years of marriage, while he always spends well, I have probably received only about two meaningful gifts that he came up with on his own without flat out getting something I obviously wanted.


So as usual, I come up with the ideas for what to get his sister and his mother and the rest.  Well I came up with what I thought were pretty good ideas and returnable anyway.  His 30 yr old sister is an Uggs fan and I thought those Uggs Bella moccasins would be perfect, I even had an alternative gift in mind, a luxurious robe like the Cozy Chic one.  So what does my husband do?  He calls his mother to get the "okay" on my suggestions, and she told him that his sister probably wouldn't like either because she really doesn't wear robes (maybe because she has none or just a flimsy one!!  and I wear them, but it's not like my own mom has seen me in it) and she has never worn moccasins because she supposedly only likes clunky shoes.  I have certainly not noticed this dated preference from my SIL, but whatever.  My SIL has always appeared to really like the gifts I have bought her in the past, but suddenly, my husband thinks his mom knows better than me, someone his sister's own age who is similarly interested in fashion.  Then his mom suggested we get her a pair of dress shoes for work because she knows she has been looking for some.  Oh, and I assume she means clunky ones.  I think that's a really boring idea and I refused it.  I certainly wouldn't want my mom picking out dress shoes for me, that's the kind of thing I am particular about, but maybe I am in the minority.


Whether his sister would have liked my gifts or not is not the point, I am thoroughly annoyed because what the heck is he doing bouncing our (my) own original and thoughtful ideas off of his mom anyway?  As usual, when it's this late in the Christmas shopping game, his sister is probably going to end up with a forgettable gift card because my husband doesn't have any idea what to get his sister.... ever.... and I am now entirely unmotivated to try and think of something else anyway.


UGH, so sick of mama's boys and mother-in-laws!  I must try to remember not to be a mother-in-law when my son grows up.  hahaha



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"Go either very cheap or very expensive. It's the middle ground that is fashion nowhere." ~ Karl Lagerfeld
Eurodaisy


Dooney & Bourke

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Wow, that sucks, and such thoughtful presents, too!  I say just wash your hands of the whole thing and watch him squirm while he deals with it... that's what I'd do.

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luckylily


Gucci

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Oh lorelei - Your post gave me a giggle, only because I can so relate.  Last year, my in-laws came to town for the holidays.  My MIL and I went out shopping one day, and she wanted to buy my husband some clothes.  I suggested a colorful shirt and tie or blazer because he wears those things all the time and is always looking for new, cool shirts and ties.  She totally knocked my idea and said, "No, I want to get him something he can actually wear."  Hello?!  I live with the man, I know what he wears!


Anyway, my point is that you are probably right.  You probably are much more in touch with what your SIL would like.  Can you get her the Uggs anyway?  Or would that be weird now that MIL has put down your idea?  I think that is a great gift idea, especially for someone who loves Uggs.



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laken1


Hermes

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BOOOO to your husband, but I agree with luckylily - I'd still get her the uggs if it wouldn't be too weird. I know that my mom would say that they are ugly & I would be all kinds of mad if I knew I could have gotten a pair as a gift & she shot down the idea. Or, do what euro says & let him squirm it out & then when she opens her crappy present, tell her that you were going to get her the cool ugg mocs & her mom didn't think she'd like them. I know if i were the receiptent, I'd tell my brother to stay out of it & let you pick out my gifts every year. And btw, picking out boring work shoes is about the hardest idea that you could give anyone - I think that's a VERY personal decision, not one I'd leave to anyone else. Stupid MIL!

So sorry you are having to deal with this - I'm sure it will make the gift exchange yucky for you either way...

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NCshopper


Hermes

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I say get her the Uggs anyway and just pretend you didn't know about the conversation between your husband and the MIL.  Your SIL will love them and it will send a message to your MIL to back off.


I'm wondering why your MIL said that though.  Do you have a good relationship with her?  Could she have taken your idea and gotten your SIL Uggs after hearing that's what you wanted to get her?  (I'm not trying to instigate anything, I'm just thinking it's weird she said that.)


Anyway, I would stay away from getting dressy shoes for work, only because that's a personal preference thing.  I'd get her the Uggs.



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Hermione


Kate Spade

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will your husband let you just get the uggs?


that's also what i would do


and p.s. - as far as anyone is concerned i don't "wear robes" either but that's just b/c i haven't been able to afford a really nice one! (that's comfortable and appropriate in front of others!)



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Coach

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I have an good relationship with my MIL on the surface, she grates my nerves, but sometimes I can't decide if that's because she is annoying or because she is my MIL, you know?  And yeah, I am a little bit suspect that she shot down the idea because it was mine, she's kind of a know it all and has a very competitive personality and don't like this, but I can so easily tell she is intimidated by me.  I just wish she would relax and be herself (whatever that is) and I always feel like she is putting on this perfect front for everyone, it bugs me.


I am not getting the Uggs for the SIL, mostly because our gifts come from both of us and if I buy her these Uggs, we will have spent twice as much as we intended to on her, and we aren't in a position to be spending double this year....plus, while I do have a good sense of my SIL's style and likes, she and I are not close anyway, so no gift is going to change the relationship for the better.  I just thought the Uggs were a great idea and I am annoyed that my MIL disagreed verbally...even if she is right, I think it's kind of rude.



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"Go either very cheap or very expensive. It's the middle ground that is fashion nowhere." ~ Karl Lagerfeld
blubirde


Chanel

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I think everyone with a mother knows that our mothers do NOT know our fashion likes and dislikes. If my mom were to pick out shoes for me, I'm sure they'd be something hideous that she thought I'd love. Bleh.


I wouldn't take it personally, your MIL probably just thinks she knows best (as most mothers do). But bad hubbie! Why go over your head? He deserves at least one piece of coal for that boneheaded move.



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