I started at my job nearly 7 months ago, while I hate my job and most of the people I work with I deal with it. There are very few people there that make my day better. Well this man J, is very nice, handsome, witty, and just makes my days go by faster. We just recently started talking and its just simple hellos, small talk, those kinds of things. Today we had a birthday in the office so of course there was a ton of food. I was staying away from the food, when I see J he asks do you stay away from all of that stuff? I said I try, but I do love food. He then says I didn't think you ate that kind of stuff b/c you have a great figure. Which was nice to hear but weird at the same time. I have been in a relationship for 5 years and even though my boyfriend tells me things like that it is nice to hear from someone else, I really haven't been given a compliment like that from another man since I have been with my boyfriend. He starts telling me about this ribs and open bbq pit place. I was interested b/c i love bbq. When I came back from lunch I had an email from him, you could tell he was nervous while writing it, which was cute, he wrote if you feel the need to feast this weekend I would be more than happy to partake. If I wasn't in a relationship I would jump on his offer in a heartbeat, but I am, so how do I tell him no without ruining or making things weird with one of the few people I actually enjoy seeing through my day?
One other thing, I am now living in a small town and everyone knows everything so I keep to myself and don't let anyone know anything about me, and I like to keep it that way b/c your news one day is everyone elses the next. So he doesn't know I have a boyfriend. I know I should tell him, but maybe I should have told him sooner.
Try not to feel bad about not telling him sooner about your BF - why would you have? It would have been weird, and there's a chance you could have seriously wounded his ego. He sounds like a nice person and since you enjoy his company and he makes being at work bearable, I'd try to let him down easy and play dumb. Email him back and say something like, "My boyfriend and I already have plans to do XYZ this weekend, but I'm really interested in trying that place. Maybe we could double date next weekend?"
That way you are letting him know you are unavailable, but allowing him to bow out gracefully and pretend he was never interested in you romantically.
Good luck - report back and let us know how it goes!
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To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment ~ {Ralph Waldo Emerson}
So I let him down gently and he bowed out like a gentleman. Things are just like normal he still came over to say hi and to tell me the joke of the day. LMonet thanks for the advice.
I was going to agree with LMonet, but I see you've already taken her good advice. Maybe you can suggest y'all go during lunch one day? That way he knows you don't have any hard feelings or that it's not weird.
Thank you ladies, after I posted, he did joke with me and say oh see we could have eaten ribs and then flown to that large mall in canada "West Edmonton"... I believe. Trying to guilt a girl with shopping that is so wrong. There should be a law against that. Thanks for the advice.
What a cool guy -- encourages you to eat ribs and go shopping! Fun. Great advice from LMonet. Now you can have a friendship with this guy, enjoy being at the office more, and not have to worry about any weirdness!