STYLETHREAD -- LET'S TALK SHOP!

Hermione · Kate Spade

kids say the darndest things?

Maddie · Coach

Oh God, I could write a book. I'm a camp couselor in the summer, I'll have to think about it to pick a few choise ones.

Cortney1982 · Chanel

Here is something really funny when my family recently was out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant with my 2 year old niece. We just got our fortune cookies and read them. My moms was 'When opportunity knocks, answer your door'. So we asked our little cutie what hers said. She takes her little paper and pretends to read it and says, 'Knock and door, knock on door.'!!!!! It was so hilarious, you had to be there!

KaffeeKlatsch · Marc Jacobs

My son, in the parking lot of the grocery store, pointed at each truck and said f*ck!

Misty · Dooney & Bourke

My daughter likes to keep me in check about my language during *road rage*. Probably like some, I shout all sorts of obscenities if someone cuts me off, goes to slow, etc. Well, one of those words is pr*ck and I guess my little one remembered it bec. the next time I yelled "idiot" at some guy for almost hitting us, she turned to me and said, "Mama, is that guy a pr*ck too"? Holding in my laughter, I told her to never repeat that word again, that it was a bad word and even mama shouldn't say it. That was a few years ago when she was three and now that she's 5, if I say anything she deems a bad word, she tells me to "find a new word bec. I don't need to use words like that". LOL

Andrea Julia · Coach

My friend left me alone with her 2 year old and the kid she babysits for for a couple minutes. Her 2 year old kicked the other kid in the leg and said, "I kick your @ss." I couldn't help laughing.

luckylily · Gucci

My friend's son says wacky things all the time, it is crazy.

A few months ago I was babysitting him and he was kind of being a brat. He loves leggos, so I got out the leggos hoping to get him to settle down. He ended up sitting down and playing a video game and I played with the leggos by myself for a little while. A few hours later when I was trying to get him to bed, he said "You'd better pick up your leggos or my Dad is going to kick your ass!"

Another time my friend went into a really crowded washroom at a baseball game and had his son sitting on his shoulders. While my friend was at the urinal, the son looked down and pointed at the guy standing next to them and said, "Dad, how come his penis is bigger than yours?"

Maddie · Coach

Ok I thought of one. I'm sure I'll post more later...

It was Saturday morning and the girls were supposed to be leaving to go home in like 2 hours. All the girls come out ready to go to breakfast except for one. I go into her cabin to see what is taking her so long. She's sitting on the bed wearing one shoe. I ask her what's wring and she says she can't find her shoe and she can't leave with out it. I'm like, "Ok, I'll help you look for it" and start to look under the bunks and stuff. "Oh no," she says, "it's not going to be there, I threw it in the woods." WTF??? I was so fed up with her at this point (early in the week she'd cut her hair cause it was tangled) that I told her she'd just have to leave it.

laken1 · Hermes

These are all so funny! I'm glad my namesake caused a discussion. I'm sure I can think of something else from those 2 angel nieces of mine, but this is truly the funniest story I ever heard. It was on an episode of Dr Phil about out of hand kids. A lady was in the grocery with her kids & her little boy (like 2 or 3 yrs old) was being bad. She told him that if he didn't settle down that she was going to take him outside & whip him. He continued so she snatched him up by the arm & was taking him outside. He started screaming "Help me people, this lady's not my mom!"

bumblebee · Coach

my brothers used to put gum in my hair all the time, so my mom would have to cut chunks out of it. so one time i got a hold of the scissors by myself and cut all of my bangs off at the roots, straight across my forehead, because i didn't understand that if you don't want to have bangs anymore, you have to grow them out, not cut them off. i was about 3. it was very attractive.

Maddie wrote:

Ok I thought of one. I'm sure I'll post more later... It was Saturday morning and the girls were supposed to be leaving to go home in like 2 hours. All the girls come out ready to go to breakfast except for one. I go into her cabin to see what is taking her so long. She's sitting on the bed wearing one shoe. I ask her what's wring and she says she can't find her shoe and she can't leave with out it. I'm like, "Ok, I'll help you look for it" and start to look under the bunks and stuff. "Oh no," she says, "it's not going to be there, I threw it in the woods." WTF??? I was so fed up with her at this point (early in the week she'd cut her hair cause it was tangled) that I told her she'd just have to leave it.

Maddie · Coach

Laken's reminded me of another one. One time our family friends' kid got in trouble at school when he was like seven and had to be sent to the principal. The principal told him he was going to call his dad and at the this point the kid breaks down. He goes off about how that's not his real dad, it's his mom's boyfriend and his real dad is in jail, etc etc. So the principal calls his mom to come down to the school and is like, "Look I think Chris is having a really hard time with his dad being in jail and your new boyfriend etc." His mom just starts laughing and is like, "No that's defintely he's real dad and ge's defintely in a lot of trouble."

Maddie · Coach

bumblebee wrote:

my brothers used to put gum in my hair all the time, so my mom would have to cut chunks out of it. so one time i got a hold of the scissors by myself and cut all of my bangs off at the roots, straight across my forehead, because i didn't understand that if you don't want to have bangs anymore, you have to grow them out, not cut them off. i was about 3. it was very attractive.

Haha I thought the same thing when I was little! Although my mom intercepted me before I could actually follow through.

halleybird · Hermes

When my sister was about 2, we were at this really fancy, very serious Catholic church service. She was with my mom, who is not Catholic (and admittedly, didn't really take us to church that often). The priest asked everyone to pray in the name of Jesus Christ, so the room went silent, and my sister yells out, "Who is this Jesus Christ anyway?"

My mom was mortified.

-- Edited by halleybird at 18:52, 2005-11-16

theotherjess · Chanel

My uncle had his boss over for dinner and his son greeted the boss saying, "Hello, you son of a b*tch!". He had overheard his dad saying it before and didn't know it was bad. Needless to say, he never got a raise again.

bumblebee · Coach

omg, halleybird--that's a good one.

HeatherLynn · Gucci

halleybird wrote:

When my sister was about 2, we were at this really fancy, very serious Catholic church service. She was with my mom, who is not Catholic (and admittedly, didn't really take us to church that often). The priest asked everyone to pray in the name of Jesus Christ, so the room went silent, and my sister yells out, "Who is this Jesus Christ anyway?" My mom was mortified.-- Edited by halleybird at 18:52, 2005-11-16

HAHAHAHAHAHA I am cracking up!!

Collette · Chanel

Ok this is a long one

So my nephew who is 4 was at the playground and some first graders were picking on him. This is his version of what happened

Nephew:I was playing on the swingset and they said "no babies allowed" and I told them I'm not a baby and then..... they. called. me. a. PEANUT and I told them IM NOT A PEANUT

Me: And then what did you do Joey?

Nephew: I did nothing!!!

Me: Oh yeah? Why not?

Nephew: Cause I"m gonna be bigger one day and I'm gonna play football and I'm gonna remember them and I'm gonna say "Who's the peanut now???? You're the peanut!!!!!!!"

Followed by manical laughter.

I just thought that was so funny that he thought this out so far ahead.

lindsayp · Kenneth Cole

So this is somethign I apparantly said. To give you some background, my mom immigrated from Ireland when she was 25-27, so she still has a lot of accent and says a lot of the phrases still.

Soo, apparantly when I was 2 or 3 I got really mad at my mom for something, I have no idea what. But anyways, the story goes that I put my hands on my hips, looked up and her, and said, "You're a bloody hell bad mother!!"

She said she was laughing too hard to be mad at me! I guess I've always had a bit of a mouth on me

jacL · Coach

Oh, I am just rolling on the floor laughing so hard!

Misty · Dooney & Bourke

This is fun! Okay, here's another. It's really sort of crass, and I apologize in advance if I offend anyone.

When my ex-h's sister was about 4, she and her siblings went with their dad to a restaurant with his boss, wife, other couples, etc. Well, my ex FIL is infamous for commenting on women's looks constantly and apparently was not careful with his words when he made some of these comments bec. when the waitress came to take their order, his daughter asked very loudly: "Daddy, can she sit on your face?"

I laughed so hard I cried when I heard this. This girl is 30 now and we still laugh about it.